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LOL....busted for usingDH. Now as penalty, I'll be anticipating my $50 gift certificate in the mail.
Made a comical reference to the wife vocabulary. But for you, Virgode, seriously, if I ever knew you in real life, you'd get a gift card from the loveable crocodile every Christmas.
LOL at how feminism and gold diggers are brought up for just one frickin' meal!
Seriously?
Look, guys who complain about spending $20 on a woman do not appeal to gold diggers because you probably don't have enough materially (car, house and willingness to spend mucho bucks) anyway. Unless, they're homeless gold diggers...
Let's solve this. The guys who are scared of being taken advantage of financially shouldn't ask a woman out to do anything that costs money. If a lousy $20 will break ya, don't do eeet!
Now, here's a lesson in common courtesy and basic human emotions/motivations which excludes gold digging and feminism. When people like each other, they do things to show it. Could be friends, family or someone you like romantically and it could involve **gasp!!** money or not. But when someone asks someone else out like: "Can I take you to dinner?" That means that person is taking you out and treating you. I do it for friends, family and guys I like and that means I'm buying period. No BS half paying. I'm European and it's considered tacky and offensive to offer paying half. When I pay, I don't expect anything except the person I care about is having a good time. That is ALL that matters. If our friendship or potential relationship sours in time I do not look back and want my $ back. What is money good for anyway? Yeah, pay the bills but above that, it's for my enjoyment and it makes me happy to treat the ones I love, I'll do it with no strings attached. Funny how people expect to do the most intimate things like sex with no strings attached but can't deal with doling out a bit of cash once in a while.
No one is putting a gun to anyone's head about how you choose to woo someone. Wooing, courting; unfortunately seems like something of the past. Feminism can't trump basic primal calling of the mating game.
Primitive (not the ones now but long ago ) men brought meat to the woman he wanted to mate with. Now men like to harken back when it suits them to explain their lack of monogamy as it's 'primal'. Well, guess what, so are women. So, it's primal that we like men who can provide for us. How it's changed in the 21st century & with feminism, is that women can provide for ourselves monetarily (buy all the meat we want ) but when looking for a mate, we still care that he has the ability to provide when we're pregnant, can't work or chose to stay home with the kids. Or the man could stay home with the kids but both partners have to show competency and characteristics that would make us believe you would be a good parent. Generosity of spirit of one who doesn't have a problem paying for a date proves to the other, you might make a kind parent or partner in life. You see how it all works together? Yeah, and it does work both ways but in evolution, women are the choosers. Men are the chasers and you get the excuse of, "Hey, I'm just spreading my seed like I'm supposed to" and we get to choose the seed we want.
I went on a date with a man I met on match. He talked the whole time, which I was going to chalk up to nerves, he's a federal officer, divorced with kids. I have three rules when I date, no kids, no cops and no ex wives. Well, needless to say, he broke all the rules. However, when emailing back and forth we seemed to click, and I was really open to the idea. Also, he said several times what good money he makes.
lol...from the beginning you were doomed...you have these standards that work for your lifestyle or reasons as to why you had these prerequisite's in the first place!
Second the fact that he stated he made alot of money, depending on his time in and rank is the real indicator plus let us not forget, the more he makes, the more he gives in child support per child..Not trying to mean just stating a fact.
Dinner was nice, conversation flowed just fine... when the waitress came to ask whether or not everything was on one bill, he looks at me? I then told her politely, it would be two checks. The waitress could tell we were on a first date, and she kept it on one piece of paper, but two different totals. She also set it right in front of him. He never once offered. I put out my 20.00 for the meal, and left a very nice tip too. He left 1.00 for a tip. Mistake number one...I would not have a said a word and waited on him...let him be petty enough to ask for two bills..
REMINDS me of one of my few disaster dates I had forgotten ewwww!
I had met this guy who was not my type on one of those dating sites...he claimed what good money he made, was going to open his own auto shop ect...
I finally agreed to go out on a short lunch date ( I was in a mandated training) I met him a cheap chinese place, when we went to order I noticed he let me go first? And when the girl asked "Will this order be together?" I saw him step back...I looked at him like he was crazy and said "I guess" my plate was 6.00, really? Had I not been starving? I would have left but the clock was ticking! ugg!
So I went to find a seat without him, barely spoke to him, ate my lunch and as soon as I finished I left.
Paul called me later and stated he wanted me to come over to his place later and he would buy beer, we could talk and he could give me one of his infamous body massages? lmao! Really?
I asked him if he was serious? And if he was, did he want me to pay him for the beer and the massage seeming that he could not pay for my 6.00 plate even though he asked me to lunch?
He stuttered something about women on the site using him for a free meal? I told him to lose my number..wow.. This has never happened to me before, although once in relationships I turn into the sugar Mama.
Is this a deal breaker? Is this just a sign of what's to come? I wouldn't have made him pay, but it's the OFFER that would have been nice...
Many on here have seen my standpoint on this...
I was not raised like this nor am I going to change..
I will always remember what my dad said to my sister and I when we were growing up..." You must demand nice, if a guy cannot pay for a meal when HE is asking a gal out? He should not be dating, period"
Mind you I am not an expensive date..we will opt to go to a bar/grill, and I always order something light..I am not out to get a free meal I am perfectly capable of paying for my own but I will be damned if I am going to pay or go dutch...
The way I chalked up that disaster date? I needed to eat lunch anyways with friends ( which I so wish could have happened) and I would have paid for my own but if I agreed to a date? Then he will pay...
Many on here have seen my standpoint on this... I was not raised like this nor am I going to change.. I will always remember what my dad said to my sister and I when we were growing up..." You must demand nice, if a guy cannot pay for a meal when HE is asking a gal out? He should not be dating, period"
Sounds like my father as well! I'd say we were raised by good men
I went on a date with a man I met on match. He talked the whole time, which I was going to chalk up to nerves, he's a federal officer, divorced with kids. I have three rules when I date, no kids, no cops and no ex wives. Well, needless to say, he broke all the rules. However, when emailing back and forth we seemed to click, and I was really open to the idea. Also, he said several times what good money he makes.
Dinner was nice, conversation flowed just fine... when the waitress came to ask whether or not everything was on one bill, he looks at me? I then told her politely, it would be two checks. The waitress could tell we were on a first date, and she kept it on one piece of paper, but two different totals. She also set it right in front of him. He never once offered. I put out my 20.00 for the meal, and left a very nice tip too. He left 1.00 for a tip.
This has never happened to me before, although once in relationships I turn into the sugar Mama.
Is this a deal breaker? Is this just a sign of what's to come? I wouldn't have made him pay, but it's the OFFER that would have been nice...
Run away from this cheap, inconsiderate imbecile faster than Usain Bolt. He should've paid and treated you. After all, a beautiful woman like you deserves to be treated. It should've been his pleasure to cover the check and give a good tip, especially on the first date. Don't bother with him. Your concern is justified IMO. Avoid this guy.
Whenever I went out with a woman, I was always happy to pay because I always felt honored to be in the company of a woman. Sometimes, she would insist that she pick up the tab, and I'd let her. But I had no problem paying. I always felt a good meal with any woman, nice conversation, was always a good time. It was a priceless pleasure. Been happily married to the same woman for 22 years now.
This is not about feminism vs goldiggers. Nor is it about pay don't pay. It's about 50/50 and I think its asinine to think that on a first date, when two people are mutually new to the situation, that the man should automatically pay for all everything.
LOL at how feminism and gold diggers are brought up for just one frickin' meal!
Seriously?
Look, guys who complain about spending $20 on a woman do not appeal to gold diggers because you probably don't have enough materially (car, house and willingness to spend mucho bucks) anyway. Unless, they're homeless gold diggers...
Let's solve this. The guys who are scared of being taken advantage of financially shouldn't ask a woman out to do anything that costs money. If a lousy $20 will break ya, don't do eeet!
Now, here's a lesson in common courtesy and basic human emotions/motivations which excludes gold digging and feminism. When people like each other, they do things to show it. Could be friends, family or someone you like romantically and it could involve **gasp!!** money or not. But when someone asks someone else out like: "Can I take you to dinner?" That means that person is taking you out and treating you. I do it for friends, family and guys I like and that means I'm buying period. No BS half paying. I'm European and it's considered tacky and offensive to offer paying half. When I pay, I don't expect anything except the person I care about is having a good time. That is ALL that matters. If our friendship or potential relationship sours in time I do not look back and want my $ back. What is money good for anyway? Yeah, pay the bills but above that, it's for my enjoyment and it makes me happy to treat the ones I love, I'll do it with no strings attached. Funny how people expect to do the most intimate things like sex with no strings attached but can't deal with doling out a bit of cash once in a while.
No one is putting a gun to anyone's head about how you choose to woo someone. Wooing, courting; unfortunately seems like something of the past. Feminism can't trump basic primal calling of the mating game.
Primitive (not the ones now but long ago ) men brought meat to the woman he wanted to mate with. Now men like to harken back when it suits them to explain their lack of monogamy as it's 'primal'. Well, guess what, so are women. So, it's primal that we like men who can provide for us. How it's changed in the 21st century & with feminism, is that women can provide for ourselves monetarily (buy all the meat we want ) but when looking for a mate, we still care that he has the ability to provide when we're pregnant, can't work or chose to stay home with the kids. Or the man could stay home with the kids but both partners have to show competency and characteristics that would make us believe you would be a good parent. Generosity of spirit of one who doesn't have a problem paying for a date proves to the other, you might make a kind parent or partner in life. You see how it all works together? Yeah, and it does work both ways but in evolution, women are the choosers. Men are the chasers and you get the excuse of, "Hey, I'm just spreading my seed like I'm supposed to" and we get to choose the seed we want.
This is not about feminism vs goldiggers. Nor is it about pay don't pay. It's about 50/50 and I think its asinine to think that on a first date, when two people are mutually new to the situation, that the man should automatically pay for all everything.
In a nutshell. No one has yet to explain why a man should be obligated to pay in this day an age. This isn't the stone age or the 1920s.
We don't club women over the head, and there are no shot gun weddings.
We both work, we both vote and according to the law ,we both have the same rights. Essentially we are "equals" in every respect. So men by default have to pay for the meal for what reason again?
Nearly 60 pages deep and still not a single answer that makes sense.
In a nutshell. No one has yet to explain why a man should be obligated to pay in this day an age. This isn't the stone age or the 1920s.
We don't club women over the head, and there are no shot gun weddings.
We both work, we both vote and according to the law ,we both have the same rights. Essentially we are "equals" in every respect. So men by default men have to pay for the meal for what reason again?
Nearly 60 pages deep and still not a single answer that makes sense.
If it doesn't make sense to you, don't do it. I'm still old fashioned in some ways and I think it is gentlemanly to pick up the check. Just because men and women are equal under the law as citizens doesn't mean that romance has become obsolete. Just my two cents. For the record - I've said this many, many times - I ALWAYS offered to pay. And I paid for my share of dates, too. But on the first few dates, most gentleman usually pick up the tab or at least try to. Oh - and before everyone gets their panties in a wad - I'm mostly a SAHM right now and I do pretty much all the cooking, cleaning, and taking care of our little one. And I'm perfectly happy to do so.
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) men brought meat to the woman he wanted to mate with. Now men like to harken back when it suits them to explain their lack of monogamy as it's 'primal'. Well, guess what, so are women. So, it's primal that we like men who can provide for us. How it's changed in the 21st century & with feminism, is that women can provide for ourselves monetarily (buy all the meat we want 
) but when looking for a mate, we still care that he has the ability to provide when we're pregnant, can't work or chose to stay home with the kids. Or the man could stay home with the kids but both partners have to show competency and characteristics that would make us believe you would be a good parent. Generosity of spirit of one who doesn't have a problem paying for a date proves to the other, you might make a kind parent or partner in life. You see how it all works together? 
Yeah, and it does work both ways but in evolution, women are the choosers. Men are the chasers and you get the excuse of, "Hey, I'm just spreading my seed like I'm supposed to" and we get to choose the seed we want. 
