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GF: I gained some weight and am self-conscious about it.
BF: I know you're always right. And as always, you are right, again. You do look a little oink, oink.
Result: She gets the memo. Probably breaks up with you. But gets back on the jogway. Sheds the poundage and in the end, you did her a huge favour. You saved her life, and that of her future spouse.
Or, you can be a real man
GF: I gained some weight and am self-conscious about it.
BF: No, it's the winter, the clothes are shrinking.
Result: She gets obese. Invites one million illnesses. You always work around her insecurities. Your life and peace of mind are gone. Your insurance and net worth are wrecked. She did you a huge disfavour.
If she in fact used those words, her telling him that she's put on weight and feels a bit self-conscious doesn't sound like fishing for compliments as much as a statement of fact. All the OP needs to do is tell her that he thinks she's beautiful, and if he wants to buy her something, ask her what she wants or take her shopping so that she can try on things. Maybe it's a good opportunity to suggest they take dance classes or something active that would make her feel more confident.
Thank you for the good idea. Your comment should be published. It feels right!
My heart nearly broke when my woman told me not not to buy her clothes because she said, " I gained some weight and am self-conscious about it." How should a boyfriend reply? It has to be one of the most common, and worst situations to be in.
non verbal, hug her, stroke her hair, when tongue tied
GF: I gained some weight and am self-conscious about it.
BF: I know you're always right. And as always, you are right, again. You do look a little oink, oink.
Result: She gets the memo. Probably breaks up with you. But gets back on the jogway. Sheds the poundage and in the end, you did her a huge favour. You saved her life, and that of her future spouse.
Or, you can be a real man
GF: I gained some weight and am self-conscious about it.
BF: No, it's the winter, the clothes are shrinking.
Result: She gets obese. Invites one million illnesses. You always work around her insecurities. Your life and peace of mind are gone. Your insurance and net worth are wrecked. She did you a huge disfavour.
a lot of women, or even men for the matter fluctuate up and down in weight
Quickly ask her what she would like instead of clothing.Don't get into her pity party. If you say, "Oh, you don't look like you gained weight," she may get started with how "you're just being nice to me; I'm fat!" This is just her trying to start a pity party and drag you into it.
Very good suggestion about suggesting to take her out to buy something else, I think. She may want a pity party when she makes a comment like the one I brought up; however, she normally doesn't complain about much, except work. I don't want to join the party. Thanks so much
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frankstudy
My heart nearly broke when my woman told me not not to buy her clothes because she said, " I gained some weight and am self-conscious about it." How should a boyfriend reply? It has to be one of the most common, and worst situations to be in.
I would say I love you the way you are at any size and if you ain't happy bout your weight and wanna do something about it, I'll be happy to assist in any way I can.
Quickly ask her what she would like instead of clothing.Don't get into her pity party. If you say, "Oh, you don't look like you gained weight," she may get started with how "you're just being nice to me; I'm fat!" This is just her trying to start a pity party and drag you into it.
It's not a pity party, we just don't like to be lied to or told we're overreacting when it's obvious we have put on weight. While it's sweet that a man wants to make us feel better, it's very dismissive of our feelings. I have found that the best comment from my husband in this kind of situation is "You look great to me but if it's bothering you, we'll make an effort to eat healthier and be more active." That reassures me that he still finds me attractive but acknowledges that my feelings aren't irrational and offers moral support by suggesting we do something about it together. But then, I can only really speak for myself, all women are different. Maybe some women do want a pity party but not all of them do.
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