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Hey I'm a man in his mid twenties who is married to a wonderful woman who I am very attracted to. My problem is that I have a very strong attraction to a particular type of woman that my wife is not. To avoid confusion I will simply say that I am extremely attracted to cute asian women which my wife is not. The group is not the focus in this topic it's the fact that I'm extremely attracted to a group my wife can never be a apart of. I love her and I find her very attractive and sexy but when I see a cute, attractive asian woman approach me, my heart races and I get nervous. I hate it and I'm glad this hasn't happened in front of my wife but I don't know how to stop it. I usually just walk away or stay busy to avoid excessive glances in her direction but I need a better solution. I want to rid myself of this somehow. Yes I know attraction isn't a choice but I love my wife and even distractions like that make me feel guilty. Any ideas? I will never leave the happy life I have with my wife just to pursue pointless desires that arise once in a blue. It's like leaving my beautiful house to spend one night in a flashy expensive hotel just to realize I lost my house because of it.
Sound like most men, including myself at that age. It gets old quick, you'll survive just remember not to look and incriminate yourself.
Hey I'm a man in his mid twenties who is married to a wonderful woman who I am very attracted to. My problem is that I have a very strong attraction to a particular type of woman that my wife is not. To avoid confusion I will simply say that I am extremely attracted to cute asian women which my wife is not. The group is not the focus in this topic it's the fact that I'm extremely attracted to a group my wife can never be a apart of. I love her and I find her very attractive and sexy but when I see a cute, attractive asian woman approach me, my heart races and I get nervous. I hate it and I'm glad this hasn't happened in front of my wife but I don't know how to stop it. I usually just walk away or stay busy to avoid excessive glances in her direction but I need a better solution. I want to rid myself of this somehow. Yes I know attraction isn't a choice but I love my wife and even distractions like that make me feel guilty. Any ideas? I will never leave the happy life I have with my wife just to pursue pointless desires that arise once in a blue. It's like leaving my beautiful house to spend one night in a flashy expensive hotel just to realize I lost my house because of it.
I think part of the problem is that you committed to early. You should have gotten that out of your system before you got married. I'm pretty sure most people are going to condemn your attraction but its not something you can control. I'm going to be frank with you and honest. Your just going to have to get out of your system. You married to early and your have chemical and biological urges. Nature is going to win. Just cheat a few times and get it out of your system. Make sure your wife never finds out. Make sure you practice "safe sex".
You can still love someone and cheat on them.
If you do not decide to get out of your system the problems will start to subconscious arise in your relationship. The longer your married the stronger your urges will get.
I have nearly the same problem. I know exactly what you are going through. I find asian women the most attractive but their not of my race. I try to ignore it but its only making it worse.
It's never going to go away. You don't choose who your PHYSICALLY attracted to. Nature does. Go out, cheat a few times and get it out of your system. Once your not curious anymore on what it would be like it will at least subside and never do it again.
OP, you married too young and probably got married without having lived life to the fullest before tying the knot. I suggest you get some marriage counseling, and if that doesn't work out, maybe think about getting a divorce so that you can fulfill all your urges and desires before remarrying in your late 30s or early 40s (if you choose to do so).
What is marriage counseling going to do? He has a PHYSICAL attraction towards ASIAN women. He doesn't have a problem with his wife. He has urges.
He just needs to get the urges out of his system. He doesn't have to divorce. Sex and Love are not the same thing.
It's not the answer he probably wanted to hear but its the truth. I wish I didn't have to use the bathroom. I wish I didn't have to eat in order to survive. I wish I didn't have to breathe to live. Guess what nature wins and I have to all those things.
He is wired to asian women. It's going to drive him insane. His best bet is to get it out of his system.
So OP, I have read the thread and other threads you started and I am curious if you are still together with your wife? Your answer will be very valuable because I am going through a similar stage in my life and experience is the best teacher.
Hey I'm a man in his mid twenties who is married to a wonderful woman who I am very attracted to. My problem is that I have a very strong attraction to a particular type of woman that my wife is not. To avoid confusion I will simply say that I am extremely attracted to cute asian women which my wife is not. The group is not the focus in this topic it's the fact that I'm extremely attracted to a group my wife can never be a apart of. I love her and I find her very attractive and sexy but when I see a cute, attractive asian woman approach me, my heart races and I get nervous. I hate it and I'm glad this hasn't happened in front of my wife but I don't know how to stop it. I usually just walk away or stay busy to avoid excessive glances in her direction but I need a better solution. I want to rid myself of this somehow. Yes I know attraction isn't a choice but I love my wife and even distractions like that make me feel guilty. Any ideas? I will never leave the happy life I have with my wife just to pursue pointless desires that arise once in a blue. It's like leaving my beautiful house to spend one night in a flashy expensive hotel just to realize I lost my house because of it.
We can't always have whatever exotic look turns us on. And remember, that one reason you married your wife, is for her character. You have no idea what those random Asian women are like. The good news, is that you do appreciate your wife for her qualities. Just keep telling yourself, your attraction to the Asian women is a superficial thing, vs. what you have with your wife is much deeper.
Aedit: Oh no! I fell for another necro-thread. Oh well; will keep my response up, as it may help the "new" OP.
No matter who you choose, you'll be missing out on someone else. This is why I don't really think humans are suited to lifelong monogamy, but whatever. It's a personal choice. If you're going to choose to be married, then choose it. Being married doesn't mean never being attracted to anyone else. You most certainly WILL be attracted to other people. Being married means you don't act on it.
This was a good one. I like how his user name comes from an anime character. I think anime has a lot to do with modern Asian fetishes, as well a K-pop. Now K-pop is found to be entangled in sex trafficking.
I would have asked what OP's wife, probably ex-wife now, looks like. lol.
I realize this is an old thread, and blah blah blah...but IMO, maybe if he'd just told his wife that he finds Asian women to be hot, she would've been understanding, and MAYBE it would've deflated all the angst.
Being attracted to someone doesn't mean you have to give in to urges or whatever.
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