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Calm down. You're getting awfully defensive over the simple fact that Neesie was describing part of your life as being childless. which means "without children" in case you didn't know. How is that derogatory?
Calm down I'm not p.o.'ed I'm just annoyed. If I don't want someone defining my life for me then Neesie (and you) should respect that. That's not an unreasonable request.
She was persistent even after I asked her to stop. If someone responded the way I did... I would have the brain cells to respect that persons feelings... that is not a difficult concept, but Neesie was having difficulty understanding this so I had to be blunt.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CheeseLouise
Besides, your whole argument is ludicrous because YOU YOURSELF said:
Neesie was simply stating that you were childless, not childfree, which again IS an accepted term, even if not by YOU.
Yeah, me AND Webster. Neesie was defining my life by defining the term AFTER I used it. But if her definition is different than what I understood it to be (and the fact that it's an inaccurate description of my prior life) then she should stop using it because I asked her to. Period.
[quote=CheeseLouise;1468294] *Neesie* is sanctimonious? She was merely pointing out that YOU are being sanctimonious by saying things like the next two quotes of yours:What does *your* joy have to do with anyone else having or not havings kids??[quote]
Sanctimonious is perfectly suitable. I was done conversing with her because it was obviously pointless - I don't need someone to preach... stand on their soapbox and give me their definition of WRONG. Yet, she can call people's ideas "stupid", "insane", and "wrong" because she doesn't agree with them - sounds sanctimonious to me.
If I suggest to someone to have kids who are on the fence (which I have)... it's usually because I care about them. Hardly sanctimonious. No one I know is hypersensitive to such a suggestion... because they are cool and respect my opinion just as I would respect theirs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CheeseLouise
The sweetest part of life...FOR YOU. When you say things like this, you *are* essentially making a blanket statement that life is better with kids than without.
Okay, that's the only thing you might be right about, not my intention at all. I'm sorry if anyone took that the wrong way but I was referring to my OWN experience. People can take anything the wrong way especially if they are sensitive about the subject. If you don't understand that I was referring to myself and not to you... then maybe you should ask me to clarify my meaning because otherwise, you are putting words in my mouth.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CheeseLouise
This is so typical of so many parents. It's okay to shove your lifestyle down others' throats, but heaven forbid we even suggest people CONSIDER not having kids.
Huh? No one on this thread is shoving a lifestyle down anyone's throat. I could stoop low and make my own "so typical" statements about the childless... but that would be tacky and insulting. The childless can tell people to consider NOT having kids... that's not wrong or bad at all - that's how people communicaticate, throwing ideas around - I don't have to take it as gospel but I can consider what they have to say - you are ultimately responsible for your own destiny. But if it's other way around, KayKay can't express her OPINION (and I can't support her opinion) without the hypersensitives jumping on my back.
I have given more than my two cents on this thread and now... we're completely off the topic.
Last edited by mommabear2; 09-10-2007 at 06:25 PM..
I never suggest that people not have kids (unlike many parents, who as Cheese said like to shove their preferred choice at us like it's the only way to true happiness).
My SO's oldest daughters have said they're considering not having kids, and all I tell them is that I personally have no regrets and have been happy without children. I don't ask them if they'd consider being CF because I myself see no upside to parenthood and can't imagine why anyone wants to do it.
My feelings about my CFness are *very* strong, but unless I'm amongst other CFs I keep those feelings to myself (and before you parents point to my post above, that doesn't even come close). If someone says to me that they're not sure about having kids, I don't tell them how GREAT I think being CF is, because it's inappropriate for anyone to try to persuade someone else to follow the path they've chosen. The most I've said to anyone is "You know, you don't *have* to have kids."
We're not getting anywhere here, so I give up. Having kids supposedly has made you happy. Fine. Why can't you just let it go at that, rather than calling someone else sanctimonious for calling you out on SUGGESTING others follow your path just because it has brought you so much joy?
Yeah, and I'm going to take what you have to say seriously CheeseLouise... riiiiggghhhtt.
I think I'm going to go hang out in the parenting section as it's likely that I'm not going to run into hypersensitives who miscontrue everything I say in order to take their frustration out on me... sheesh people...
Last edited by mommabear2; 09-10-2007 at 10:14 PM..
Please do go to the parenting boards, where you can talk about how parenthood is the best thing since sliced bread, and people will agree with you. You can all gush about your kids together.
I've found that some of the most annoying parents are those who say things like "I know how you feel, because I used to be childfree." They don't have a clue what it's like.
I have a question to add for all the parents out there. Why oh why do some parents feel they have to convince avowed childfree people that they should change their minds and have kids?
"It's different when it's your own." "Just wait until you have them you will feel differently" "You are missing the greatest thing in life."
Yadda, yadda,yadda.
What's it to you if others chose not to reproduce for whatever reasons they may choose. I have yet to meet a childfree person who tried to persuade people who wanted kids not to have them:
"You'll never get to sleep through the night again." "Kids take all your money." "Kids take all your time." "Kids tie you down."
What's it to you if others chose not to reproduce for whatever reasons they may choose. I have yet to meet a childfree person who tried to persuade people who wanted kids not to have them:
"You'll never get to sleep through the night again." "Kids take all your money." "Kids take all your time." "Kids tie you down."
Yadda, yadda,yadda.
LOL, actually, people did say those things to me before I had kids!!! Along with, your marriage will suffer, and the big one "you'll never have sex again" - Boy, were they wrong on that one
I have a question to add for all the parents out there. Why oh why do some parents feel they have to convince avowed childfree people that they should change their minds and have kids?
I suspect this is more of a rhetorical question/"vent" but ... The reason is because most of us that have been parents have found it to be such a rewarding experience that we truly believe that most other people would too. As I shared in my initial post on this thread, I was a person who didn't especially enjoy children (to put it bluntly-they got on my nerves big time!) but... the experience of being a mother fulfilled me in ways I could never have imagined. The years I spent raising my son were the best of my life, bar none. (I went to college, got a degree, worked in my field ... none of it satisfied like being a parent.)
If I have come off too strong about it on this thread, I apologize. I do respect people's personal choices for their own lives, but I don't apologize for the fact that I think parenthood is one of the most rewarding experiences one can ever have.
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. The childless can tell people to consider NOT having kids... that's not wrong or bad at all - that's how people communicaticate, throwing ideas around - I don't have to take it as gospel but I can consider what they have to say - you are ultimately responsible for your own destiny. But if it's other way around, KayKay can't express her OPINION (and I can't support her opinion) without 
the hypersensitives jumping on my back. 
Why...
