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I haven't posted about my personal life in a while, mainly because I freak out over dating like I used to and I'm in a pretty happy place in my life, but I had a date last night in which she said something to me that I didn't think would be such a factor but I think is affecting her interest in me.
I met a girl on a dating site, I'm in my late 20's, she's 30, we're both leading pretty busy lifestyles right now so we've been on 3 dates at least 2 weeks apart from each other.
We were out on date 3 last night and things went really well, we had a lot of fun, and we were pretty flirty toward the end of the night. But at one point she told me that she really likes me, thinks I'm cute, and really nice....but that she comes from a really liberal family and she's not sure how her parents would react to her bringing home a Libertarian. I think she just doesn't understand libertarianism, which is fine, most people don't, and on some social issues they're very similar with slight differences. But the fact she's mulling this over in her head and sharing with me tells me she's really into me and this is something that would normally rule a guy out of her potential boyfriend dating pool and she's starting to think ahead to the "meet-the-parents" stage. Or....maybe it's a real concern and she's looking to drop me because of it but doesn't know how to break it to me.
Either way, we agreed to see each other again this coming weekend so I'm just gonna go with it, but I've just never heard of someone factoring political beliefs so heavily in whether they'd date someone. I mean I love political debates and it's a hobby of mine to read about politics and economics, but I never lose friends over it and I'm very understanding of other people's beliefs. Maybe others aren't so tolerable?
I have seen a personal ad that said, "No Republicans, please."
For some people (myself included) politics is a more personal issue than for others. If I know someone has certain political beliefs or affiliations, it affects my ability to respect that person. It's not just about politics, it's about a person's entire value system.
In this girl's case, it sounds like she might be more concerned with what her parents think than about her personal feelings, which is a little different. It's one thing for her to say she doesn't want to date you because you're a libertarian; it's something else to say she doesn't want to date you because of what her parents will think. The latter strikes me as more than a little immature.
I certainly agree! I can see dating a person who thinks differently than I, but when it comes to politics I have to draw the line. How can you go forward in a relationship when you don't respect the person you are dating? If you could be assured of never discussing politics, that would be one thing, but I don't think that is possible especially during election years. If you are in a married relationship, the more things you agree on with your spouse, the better.
I've never been ruled out for my pollitical beliefs, but I've ruled girls out for theirs. It just wouldn't work if they were too liberal. I could deal with a moderate, but defnitely not someone who is ignorant to politics or liberal. Politics are one thing that I'd definitely want to agree with my SO on, it would bother me if we didn't agree there.
So far this hasn't been that much of an issue in my dating life. I just naturally am attracted to guys who I can talk to about political issues and we both agree.
However, one of my ex-boyfriends is quite liberal and also has a few extreme views that I just could not deal with (he thought that Palestinians blowing up a bus full of families/kids was justifiable because their land had been taken). No matter what, I can't fathom any way to justify killing an infant. So, that relationship was doomed from the get go. Ever since, I try to be sure that anyone I date agrees with me on certain important (to me) issues. Differences of opinion on some things is OK, just as long as the other person's viewpoint isn't too extremely opposite of mine. Other issues though, I'd have to be in complete agreement or it just won't work.
I haven't posted about my personal life in a while, mainly because I freak out over dating like I used to and I'm in a pretty happy place in my life, but I had a date last night in which she said something to me that I didn't think would be such a factor but I think is affecting her interest in me.
I met a girl on a dating site, I'm in my late 20's, she's 30, we're both leading pretty busy lifestyles right now so we've been on 3 dates at least 2 weeks apart from each other.
We were out on date 3 last night and things went really well, we had a lot of fun, and we were pretty flirty toward the end of the night. But at one point she told me that she really likes me, thinks I'm cute, and really nice....but that she comes from a really liberal family and she's not sure how her parents would react to her bringing home a Libertarian. I think she just doesn't understand libertarianism, which is fine, most people don't, and on some social issues they're very similar with slight differences. But the fact she's mulling this over in her head and sharing with me tells me she's really into me and this is something that would normally rule a guy out of her potential boyfriend dating pool and she's starting to think ahead to the "meet-the-parents" stage. Or....maybe it's a real concern and she's looking to drop me because of it but doesn't know how to break it to me.
Either way, we agreed to see each other again this coming weekend so I'm just gonna go with it, but I've just never heard of someone factoring political beliefs so heavily in whether they'd date someone. I mean I love political debates and it's a hobby of mine to read about politics and economics, but I never lose friends over it and I'm very understanding of other people's beliefs. Maybe others aren't so tolerable?
I will be very blunt, I have been on dates with several men in my lifetime…and I will usually clash horribly with those that do not share my political views..
Why? Because I was raised in a very liberal home..Politics extend to every facet of ones life..not just who is in office..military, views on culture, ethnicity, understanding the differences and why certain things exist..
Religious beliefs, views on abortion, gay/lesbian marriage and equality, capitalistic views and so forth…
While I can be diplomatic and understand a view point does not mean I am okay with it or respect it..
Political views are very important to me period..I am passionate about some things and expect the man I am with to be so as well..This is my definitive right as a human being when choosing the right person for me..
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ
And how do you "handle" different political beliefs that basically color almost all other views of that person...? I'm not talking Republican/Democrat nonsense here. That's for the idiots who can't tell they're identical twins. But how can a thinking person possibly get along with somebody brainwashed into buying all the government propaganda?
It was many years ago and maybe things are much different now but I once lived with my bf who was a liberal, I, a conservative. We never had one fight about political views. I never really gave it a second thought. That probably would've been much different if we'd decided to stay together and have children. I'm not very political. I don't think with my emotions on most issues either like one party seems to. So I try to avoid most political conversations. <yawn>
I almost forgot, the love of my life is a liberal. LOL We sometimes do discuss differences but nothing comes of it but a brief opinion. No arguing or anger. No, I don't live with him.
But it wouldn't matter. We let each other be who we are. Let? I don't mean it like that. We accept each other as we are.
Last edited by Whyte Byrd; 02-22-2012 at 12:13 AM..
I think the main factor is obviously how "political" you are. There are many Americans that don't vote, and worse yet (in my opinion), many more that don't really know what or who they are even voting for. If you are one of those Americans then the other party's political views should definitely not be a deal breaker. I was raised in a fairly liberal, democratic leaning home. I've become even more liberal as I've gotten older. Within the last year my mother has begun going to a church and all of a sudden has also become a Glenn Beck disciple. She quotes from his book, watches FOX News constantly, and listens to conservative talk radio daily. I wonder what happened to my mom. She seems brainwashed and not the mother I once knew. I'm quite certain if I met a women like that, and they espoused these views on the first date, it would be the last date.
If she's concerend about your politics that probably means she's considering you as a serious prospect. When it comes to raising children, etc, diverting views can be a problem, so to a point it's understandable.
On the other hand, people can be a bit flaky about these things. This girl who obviously liked me kept calling me a fascist in that jokey-yet-serious way even tough we'd never even discussed politics.
I have seen a personal ad that said, "No Republicans, please."
LOL, Oh my gosh. I'm wondering if that was me!
Those are my exact words!
There is a reason for that ---
I was corresponding with someone about 2 months ago and the conversation was going pretty well.
Then she told me she went over more of my answers to the questions and she laughed at me. She told me there was no way we would ever get along. I was willing to overlook some differences but the tone in which she told me was very hostile. I didn't appreciate the laughing at me for my views. I was respectful toward her views but she wasn't toward mine. That is when I added that at the end of my profile. I'll add it was a lesson learned.
So, yes, I was ruled out because of my political views.
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Ever been ruled out because of Political Beliefs?
I'm not talking Republican/Democrat nonsense here. That's for the idiots who can't tell they're identical twins. But how can a thinking person possibly get along with somebody brainwashed into buying all the government propaganda?
