Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My husband passed away last summer and I'm not really "free" to go on and date someone new yet...I'm not "free emotionally!" I don't want to consider loving another man right now...I was divorced earlier in life and I rushed out and started dating other men way too soon! Back then I didn't give myself time to grieve and heal from my "broken marriage." Thank goodness I was ready to love again and more "altogether" by the time I met my 2nd husband. And our marriage lasted for 24-plus years.. This thread is about knowing when we are ready (or not ready) to "love again!" Any thoughts about it? Thanks!
I agree with you in that I wouldn't date either if I was still emotionally tied to my ex or deceased husband. For me, it would be about me time and finding activities to do or hobbies to take up. Join some groups to keep busy. Travel either by yourself or go in a group. Volunteer. But basically I'd have a busy life and if someone came into my life again that was compatible I'd think about dating. But if no one ever came close to my late husband, then I'd still have a full happy life without a man.
My husband passed away last summer and I'm not really "free" to go on and date someone new yet...I'm not "free emotionally!" I don't want to consider loving another man right now...I was divorced earlier in life and I rushed out and started dating other men way too soon! Back then I didn't give myself time to grieve and heal from my "broken marriage." Thank goodness I was ready to love again and more "altogether" by the time I met my 2nd husband. And our marriage lasted for 24-plus years.. This thread is about knowing when we are ready (or not ready) to "love again!" Any thoughts about it? Thanks!
C, when you're ready, you'll know it
24+ years in a good marriage is a tough act to follow, just give yourself more time. And remember, everybody grieves differently, so don't measure yourself by anyone else's progress or life
My husband passed away last summer and I'm not really "free" to go on and date someone new yet...I'm not "free emotionally!" I don't want to consider loving another man right now...I was divorced earlier in life and I rushed out and started dating other men way too soon! Back then I didn't give myself time to grieve and heal from my "broken marriage." Thank goodness I was ready to love again and more "altogether" by the time I met my 2nd husband. And our marriage lasted for 24-plus years.. This thread is about knowing when we are ready (or not ready) to "love again!" Any thoughts about it? Thanks!
First of all, sorry about your loss, 24 yrs is a long time.
I think that you should give yourself some time, there will still be men around.......
I agree with donie1. You don't need a man to live a happy and fulfilled life.
If one come along who sweeps you off your feet, then fantastic, otherwise indulge yourself, enjoy your family and friends and treasure those happy memories of 24 years.
donnie1...Thanks for posting. I agree with what you wrote. I am spending time trying to get to "know" myself again...Sometimes men "cross my path" even though I'm wearing a "not available right now" sign across my forehead and I tell them that I am still working through my grief over losing my husband...They seem to "hear me" but they don't really take it "in" per se...I'm not a "prize" to "win over!" It's foolish to get involved with someone who is still "pinning away" for someone else! Don't you think?? I'd think long and hard about dating a recently widowed or recently divorced man who kept talking about his "ex" with non-stop sadness or anger!....Best to date people who are "emotionally free" to move on and start over with someone new!
I don't think we are ever emotionally "free" from someone we've lost through death, divorce, break-up, etc. The fact is when you've made a special place in your heart for someone, it kinda stays with you. You can heal, move on, date or even marry again but you always have the ability to reflect back upon those relationships (good or bad).
Everyone has a different timeframe of when they are ready to move on. The success of a new relationship will depend alot upon one's ability not to judge, generalize or hold unrealistic expectations of future love based on the past.
CArizona, 24 years is a good chunk of your life spent with your husband. You are still grieving and working to give the memories of your life together it's proper place in time, don't rush it. You will know in your heart, mind and soul when you are ready to love again. Best wishes.
donnie1...Thanks for posting. I agree with what you wrote. I am spending time trying to get to "know" myself again...Sometimes men "cross my path" even though I'm wearing a "not available right now" sign across my forehead and I tell them that I am still working through my grief over losing my husband...They seem to "hear me" but they don't really take it "in" per se...I'm not a "prize" to "win over!" It's foolish to get involved with someone who is still "pinning away" for someone else! Don't you think?? I'd think long and hard about dating a recently widowed or recently divorced man who kept talking about his "ex" with non-stop sadness or anger!....Best to date people who are "emotionally free" to move on and start over with someone new!
I so agree with what you're saying, CA about divorced and widowed men. I wouldn't want to date either since you'll be the rebound person or they've just got too much emotions about the ex to think about what they can have with you. Better to leave those men alone until they're ready.
I guess with some men, it's the conquest of getting you that is challenging them to keep pursuing even after being told you're not available. Just ignore and go about your life and do what you'd like to do.
This is you time right now and have fun! Do all the things that you only dreamed about!
I don't think we are ever emotionally "free" from someone we've lost through death, divorce, break-up, etc. The fact is when you've made a special place in your heart for someone, it kinda stays with you. You can heal, move on, date or even marry again but you always have the ability to reflect back upon those relationships (good or bad).
Everyone has a different timeframe of when they are ready to move on. The success of a new relationship will depend alot upon one's ability not to judge, generalize or hold unrealistic expectations of future love based on the past.
CArizona, 24 years is a good chunk of your life spent with your husband. You are still grieving and working to give the memories of your life together it's proper place in time, don't rush it. You will know in your heart, mind and soul when you are ready to love again. Best wishes.
I agree with your statement Seeniorita about never being emotionally free from someone you had a relationship with. That is true. We are not totally free and will have them in our hearts forever.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
