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I'm different from you. Sexual compatibility is not the most important factor for me. I want a woman who will love me and treat me right, and in reciprocation, I do that same for her. I'm a virgin, yes. I plan to be that way because I'm a Christian, of the Roman Catholic faith. I want to stay a virgin until marriage because I want my first time to be with a woman I'm married to. To me, sex outside of marriage is meaningless. You might think I'm limiting myself, but it is my faith that I consider important. If any woman I want to date has her heart for Christ and I am on the same direction, why worry about sex?
I still stand by my message to the OP. I don't think of his waiting until marriage as limiting himself. I think for him, it will be that much more valuable and meaningful if he waits until marriage.
But that's not what you said, several times.
You're saying that women are the problem. They're not a problem, as you said when called on it, they're just looking for something different.
I went to catholic school, trust me, not all catholics are virgins. By any means.
But that's not what you said, several times.
You're saying that women are the problem. They're not a problem, as you said when called on it, they're just looking for something different.
I went to catholic school, trust me, not all catholics are virgins. By any means.
I never said all women were the problem. I said if a man gets rejected because he's a virgin, it is not his problem. The burden is on that woman for judging him that way. That is what I meant. If a woman won't date me because I choose to save sex for the day I get married, then it's not my problem. It is her problem because she is the one who decides to be judgmental. It might be her preference to date a man who isn't a virgin, but I look at rejecting someone because they're a virgin as petty.
I am aware that there are Catholics who lose their virginity before marriage. It doesn't meant the teachings support that.
I have not read any of the multiple pages on this thread but my answer is a definite NO. For me, sexual compatibility is important and I would not have married my husband if he had a low sex drive or performed so poorly in bed that I couldn't achieve a basic orgasm. Sexual happiness is an important part of marriage (IMO) so its only fair for both of us to do that before we thought of marriage at all.. I was in one relationship for a year with a guy who was very shy about sex in general only to find out he was a premature shooter in the bedroom and had problems maintaining hardness..I wish I could have known sooner before investing a year of my life on trying to build something with no hope of it improving (there were other issues he had too which resulted in me dumping him anyway).
I never said all women were the problem. I said if a man gets rejected because he's a virgin, it is not his problem. The burden is on that woman for judging him that way. That is what I meant. If a woman won't date me because I choose to save sex for the day I get married, then it's not my problem. It is her problem because she is the one who decides to be judgmental. It might be her preference to date a man who isn't a virgin, but I look at rejecting someone because they're a virgin as petty.
I am aware that there are Catholics who lose their virginity before marriage. It doesn't meant the teachings support that.
Funny, you're arguing something that I didn't say.
If you're interested in her and she rejects you, it certainly is your problem.
It's not her problem, you become past tense because of her preference.
The teachings don't support pedophile priests, either. Of course, it's pretty widely accepted and practiced.
I mean, it's not like we're biological creatures with innate sexual drives shaped by eons of evolution, or social creatures with untold generations of cultural constructs that emphasize pair bonding and expressions of love through sexual contact!
Oh, wait ... no, that's exactly what we are...
I don't think it's as much about this as it is about personal choices. Yea, yea humans 'innately' do this and 'biologically driven' to do that. But at the end of the day you're still left with a bunch of choices in life. Everyone has to do what is correct/right for them. You have to weigh how much it matters to you that 'you may never find someone (gasp)' or 'you're limiting the dating options, etc.' That means less to me then being forced into doing things I don't want to do in order to follow some kind of biological or societal path (however you want to phrase it). Maybe someone else sees it the opposite way, oh well. Again, boils down to choices.
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