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It has been my experience with male virgins (and I've had quite a few, it was sort of a hobby in high school) that they're really happy to be there, doing the thing, and they don't just fall asleep after. They want to sorta lie there and be all happy they're next to a naked lady.
The most selfish, horribly selfish, man I was ever with, claimed to have a LOT of experience. Like I can cope if a fellow finishes a bit too soon, so long as he is willing to participate (even minimally) in me getting mine another way, even just lying next to me with a hand on me so I feel like he's still "present" is enough... When that happened with this one dude, and I said I would still like to um, finish, he actually put on his pants and left the room. To me, that's right up there with that one goofball that a poster complained about, when she vocalized during the act, he lost his mojo...like wow, really?
I mean, I can forgive a guy for not getting me off, but he'd better not react negatively to the very idea for crying out loud!
Wow. I sure have never had an experience like this from a man who had had a more or less normal amount of sex (i.e. neither a total player nor a virgin). That's crazy.
Nearly any time in my entire life that I've had sex - granted I'm not hopping from bed to bed but there's some experience there - the man, regardless of his "experience" status, wanted to please.
I definitely haven't had the inverse experience of more experienced guy = more selfish or anything like that. Not that I've noted, anyway. In fact lovers who cared more seemed to be the ones who liked it more, and wanted to do it more, so I'd have to assume they'd done it in the past.
Sexual comparability is a big part of a strong rerelationship.
If someone does not want to have sex before marriage that is a personal choice and to each their own.
At no point in my post did I ever disagree with these 2 statements.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angie682
You know, there are guys out there with very small units that refuse to give oral...lol. My friend dated a guy like that briefly. He was a nice guy but their sex life was not satisfying. She said he had the smallest unit she had ever seen, like less than half of average ..
There will always be guys, regardless of what level of sexual experience they've had, that will be selfish in the bedroom. But I would be willing to bet big bucks that that the vast majority of male virgins after, let's say, 25 YOA, would give a woman head so long as there is testing (which he should participate in as well, despite his virginity - if he doesn't, that's a major red flag). There is so much shame associated with male virginity from that age moving forward that a guy in that position KNOWS he has to make up for his lack of experience by doing just about everything in the world to please his individual partner. That if he does this, at least it moves him past the 50% who get plenty of sex but who don't care about pleasing their partner.
I am not trying to say I know more than anyone else, but a good friend of mine is a sex therapist, and a couple of other friends of mine are reputable psychologists. Both have pointed out to me that there are WAY MORE male virgins in their late 20's and beyond than both sexes think, and again, that being a virgin doesn't automatically make you lousy at sex. As my sex therapist friend says, 50% of all guys who've had plenty of sex haven't gotten past the "wham bam thank ya ma'am" phase. She deals with it every day. We're talking about men who have been married for years to an unhappy wife. Although I am sure there are exceptions, she said most male virgins at 25 or older would do downright anything to please a new girlfriend. Not that you should expect the sex to be incredible right out of the gate, but is it ever with new a lover? It takes time to get used to a new partner's body, their likes and dislikes, etc.
All I am suggesting is that the few women in this thread who have flat out said they would never have sex with a male virgin no matter what........well, you might want to give the guy a chance if he has so many other fine qualities. It doesn't automatically mean he wants to wait until marriage, and it doesn't mean he is screwed up as a person. Everyone has their own story. If he wants to wait until marriage, and you don't, that's certainly a valid reason for departing. The sooner the better.
many people will ask about how there could me so many more male virgins than female virgins, when there's only a small difference in percentages between the number of men and the number of women in the world.
I don't want to have sex until marriage but I'm worried that women won't date me if we don't have sex.
I'm doing this for personal rather than religious reasons.
I've casually hooked-up (no sex) with girls in the past and I've never felt fulfilled being intimate with people I don't really like. So I've decided to remain a virgin until marriage.
I have met a few guys that said that. Mainly for religious reasons though. However, once we started dating they sure changed their minds fast lol.
I guess you can call me a corruptor .
Based on my own experiences.
Talk is cheap. If you meet someone you are really attracted too or someone that knows how to tempt you..... your likely not going to be able to hold back.
Maybe you just have not met the right person ( I am saying person for a reason). Some people are not in to women or men exclusively.... so it just might be not encountering the right person.
No. I would not date, no less marry a virgin. I'd rather be with a guy that knows what he's doing sexually.
But I'm sure there are woman who would. Namely another virgin whose waiting?
Actually...
If you have more experience you could just teach the person or guide the person with no experience.
Many men with "experience" have no idea what they are doing either as no one from the opposite sex has given them guidance.
If you actually like the person and are attracted to them then not sure why it would be such a big deal.
If you have more experience you could just teach the person or guide the person with no experience.
Many men with "experience" have no idea what they are doing either as no one from the opposite sex has given them guidance.
If you actually like the person and are attracted to them then not sure why it would be such a big deal.
I think waiting until marriage is a huge gamble.
Yep, as others have said too, it isn't the virginity necessarily that breaks the deal, it's waiting until marriage to have sex. I could see waiting until..."serious" or "committed" or affianced, doing some sort of non-legally-binding handfasting first...anything like that. But getting legally bound to someone before you've even explored such a very important part of a relationship... If people want to do that, well, it's their call and I respect it but it sure would not be my choice.
But then I personally just don't place a ton of big sacred importance on marriage anyways. It is, to me, more of a sort of business partnership agreement, an easy mode to bundled legal benefits, than anything. The celebration of the love and the bond...that is optional. At its base minimum it can be as thrilling as a trip to the DMV. Long before the point where I would even consider marriage, I would already know that I have security and stability in my relationship, the feeling that neither of us is going to just up and flake out at any moment. So "putting a ring on it" really doesn't change much.
Yep, as others have said too, it isn't the virginity necessarily that breaks the deal, it's waiting until marriage to have sex. I could see waiting until..."serious" or "committed" or affianced, doing some sort of non-legally-binding handfasting first...anything like that. But getting legally bound to someone before you've even explored such a very important part of a relationship... If people want to do that, well, it's their call and I respect it but it sure would not be my choice.
But then I personally just don't place a ton of big sacred importance on marriage anyways. It is, to me, more of a sort of business partnership agreement, an easy mode to bundled legal benefits, than anything. The celebration of the love and the bond...that is optional. At its base minimum it can be as thrilling as a trip to the DMV. Long before the point where I would even consider marriage, I would already know that I have security and stability in my relationship, the feeling that neither of us is going to just up and flake out at any moment. So "putting a ring on it" really doesn't change much.
Then again...
People can change regardless.
I think any contract should be signed over expensive jewelry so I am not sure what the big deal is.
I think putting too much emphasis on the importance of virginity and hold out on sex for a huge amount of time is going to be a BIG bloody let down lol.
Most people's first time sort of suck anyways.
He is more likely going to think wow ... maybe we did something wrong vs wow this was the most amazing thing ever.
I don't get people that prolong doing things for so long.
Life is happening now.
You will be dead before you know it.
Go out and live and enjoy life to the fullest.
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