Restraining Orders. Red flag? (wife, marriage, women, child)
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Just found out bf's ex wife had put restraining order against him after divorce for 3 years, and renewed that order after 3 years. I asked him why did she do that he said after she filed for divorce and moved out of the house, he missed her and the kid so bad that he showed up to her house unannounced that's how he got it. As for why did she renew the order he said he doesn't know, she just did. Then added because they fight on court for child custody.
Is it a red flag that someone had restraining orders?
Some facts: bf never bad mouthed the ex. Talks about her like she's perfect. Eager to have a good relationship with her" for the daughter" , even want me to like the ex and keep a good relationship with her.
Is it a red flag that someone had restraining orders?
Some facts: bf never bad mouthed the ex. Talks about her like she's perfect. Eager to have a good relationship with her" for the daughter" , even want me to like the ex and keep a good relationship with her.
Isn't this odd?
From someone who's familiar with restraining orders, yes it is and a red flag.
Men who idolize and hold their partners on a pedestal can be as dangerous as an abuser. Think stalker.
My mom used to always tell me when you ask 2 divorced people their accounts of the marriage, 9 times out of 10 they will tell you stories that favor themselves....So in other words, take it with a grain of salt. You weren't present in that marriage to know 'who shot John.' Have you had any legal problems with him? Seen signs of violence? Sometimes lawyers tell clients to file restraining orders so that it will look good for their case to get custody, etc. Again, trying to untangle his previous marriage and divorce is a fool's errand, IMO. You will NEVER get the straight story.
With that said: He is probably no damn good and you're wasting your time with him.
My mom used to always tell me when you ask 2 divorced people their accounts of the marriage, 9 times out of 10 they will tell you stories that favor themselves....So in other words, take it with a grain of salt. You weren't present in that marriage to know 'who shot John.' Have you had any legal problems with him? Seen signs of violence? Sometimes lawyers tell clients to file restraining orders so that it will look good for their case to get custody, etc. Again, trying to untangle his previous marriage and divorce is a fool's errand, IMO. You will NEVER get the straight story.
With that said: He is probably no damn good and you're wasting your time with him.
He never told the stories to favor himself though, as I said, he admits he was at fault for the divorce. Painting his ex as someone perfect.
I've never seen him being violent. I have been with him 2 years.
My ex wife was abusive, but when I started divorce proceedings she went right off the richter scale, she started engineering all sorts of situations, she claimed to her lawyer I'd been turning up at her door, following her, and consistently attempting to phone her.
The lawyer took out a restraining order.
In actual fact her claims couldn't be further from the truth.
A restraining order on it's own isn't necessarily a straight red flag, but a massive warning.
I guess we can all handle a break up differently, sometimes it can push us into depression and we may do things we wouldn't otherwise have done.
Perhaps he did harass her, but it was a desperate thing, I guess you'll never know.
Proceed with extreme caution I think, as for references to violence, remember, abuse doesn't have to be violent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ppsyout
Just found out bf's ex wife had put restraining order against him after divorce for 3 years, and renewed that order after 3 years. I asked him why did she do that he said after she filed for divorce and moved out of the house, he missed her and the kid so bad that he showed up to her house unannounced that's how he got it. As for why did she renew the order he said he doesn't know, she just did. Then added because they fight on court for child custody.
Is it a red flag that someone had restraining orders?
Some facts: bf never bad mouthed the ex. Talks about her like she's perfect. Eager to have a good relationship with her" for the daughter" , even want me to like the ex and keep a good relationship with her.
Isn't this odd?
Last edited by bobman; 03-26-2012 at 01:57 AM..
Reason: spelling
2 years. Well I don't know what you're worried about that after all this time for. If you're not having any issues with him, what is the problem?
I don't understand why his ex needed to renewed the restraining order while he's eager to have a good relationship with her. They've divorced for 3 years already when she renewed it. I'm worried if there's something behind it.
I don't understand why his ex needed to renewed the restraining order while he's eager to have a good relationship with her. They've divorced for 3 years already when she renewed it. I'm worried if there's something behind it.
Ohhhhh okay, I see. Well some of these other people's have had experiences with it and say it's not a good sign I guess. gn
Originally Posted by ppsyout "I've been with my bf for almost 2 years. He's a divorced man with a 7 year old daughter.He divorced for 5 years already when I met him."
Hmmm.... Heres one discrepancy from the other thread.
You posted you've been with him for 2yrs and hes been divorced for 3.
Lets do the math, that means he was divorced for 1 yr upon meeting him.
I won't waste my time posting further, apparently honesty isn't something you do well.
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edit: Nevermind, I thought she said she's been with him 3 years! oops.
