Do You Strike Up Conversations With Strangers? (woman, younger, family)
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Last night, my son and I were at the grocery store in the checkout line after his lacrosse practice. The woman ahead of us was about ten years older. She said to me, "You have a nice looking son, there." I thanked her, introduced myself, and we proceeded to have a nice ten-minute chat, at the end of which we each knew how many children we each had, what ages they were, etc. etc. Even the gum-chewing cashier got involved in the discussion. I wasn't in any hurry and nobody was behind us in line, so it was a nice break in our day.
The woman gathered her bags, said good-bye, and left. My son, who is normally a total smart-ass, said, "She was really nice. I liked her." And the teenager said, "That was really cool." It was as if the four of us had experienced a moment of grace in our lives.
I've thought about that conversation since then. As I get older, I find that I enjoy connecting to people, even if I don't know them. I find it interesting the conversations you have with can have with total strangers, when time permits. When I was younger, I would have been polite, but still given her the brush-off.
So, had you faced that situation, would you have muttered 'thanks' to the older lady and looked the other way? Or would you have talked to her?
Last night, my son and I were at the grocery store in the checkout line after his lacrosse practice. The woman ahead of us was about ten years older. She said to me, "You have a nice looking son, there." I thanked her, introduced myself, and we proceeded to have a nice ten-minute chat, at the end of which we each knew how many children we each had, what ages they were, etc. etc. Even the gum-chewing cashier got involved in the discussion. I wasn't in any hurry and nobody was behind us in line, so it was a nice break in our day.
The woman gathered her bags, said good-bye, and left. My son, who is normally a total smart-ass, said, "She was really nice. I liked her." And the teenager said, "That was really cool." It was as if the four of us had experienced a moment of grace in our lives.
I've thought about that conversation since then. As I get older, I find that I enjoy connecting to people, even if I don't know them. I find it interesting the conversations you have with can have with total strangers, when time permits. When I was younger, I would have been polite, but still given her the brush-off.
So, had you faced that situation, would you have muttered 'thanks' to the older lady and looked the other way? Or would you have talked to her?
I will partake in any pleasant conversation. I commute daily and often see the same riders. Sometimes I or they will strike up a conversation about bus or train issues and the conversations may lead to other topics. I find it refreshing. Now, if the conversation appears to be leaning towards annoying and obnoxious then I kind of give the cold shoulder.
I usually dont because I dont really like people. But sometimes if I find something about them interesting I will. That is rare though because, really I dont like people. If someone starts up a conversation with me I will ALWAYS participate though. This happens a lot, usually at Starbucks, Trader Joes, Barnes and Noble or Whole Foods where people seem to like to chat and strike up conversations with others. Im a nice guy and pretty engaging so I always participate but usually, I just like to be left alone.
I will partake in any pleasant conversation. I commute daily and often see the same riders. Sometimes I or they will strike up a conversation about bus or train issues and the conversations may lead to other topics. I find it refreshing. Now, if the conversation appears to be leaning towards annoying and obnoxious then I kind of give the cold shoulder.
I had one on an airliner flying west last year. It was an eightyish woman. Had I been in my twenties, I might have thought, "Why can't it be some young cute girl?" I helped her with her bag, and had the usual chitchat about where we were going, etc. But she kept talking and I learned all kinds of fascinating things, such as how she had been twenty when she followed her parents to Japan during the occupation, the lore of growing up in rural Mississippi, and all sorts of other interesting stuff. The four-hour flight to San Francisco raced by.
Another flight, I sat by a Pakistani engineer who had been in the states for 30 years. As it turns out, he was reading a book I had read recently. By the time we were done with our flight, I had heard his fascinating story about moving to this country, the challenges he faced, the rewards he had come to know, and how his children had become acculturated to American ways.
I just can't help but think that we are social creatures and not meant to not talk to one another. Obviously, if someone doesn't want to talk, I don't. But I have found conversations with strangers to be some of the most interesting ones I've ever had. All people to me become more interesting the more one talks to them.
Even the gum-chewing cashier got involved in the discussion.
I find it interesting the conversations you have with can have with total strangers, when time permits. When I was younger, I would have been polite, but still given her the brush-off.
I'm going to fall back on the type thing. First, you can tell from eye contact and body language, if a conversation will ensue. Second, it all depends on how interpersonal styles mesh. I have taken transatlantic flights where the conversation with the passenger in the next seat was limited to "hello," "I need to use the restroom," and "have a nice trip." I have also had transatlantic flights where I talked and cut up with the passenger in the next seat the whole way, save meal time and some snooze time. So, my answer is, it depends.
BTW, do you B-ham folks still have Bruno's, thinking of both the gum-chewing cashier and my "ethnic" friend who went to John Carroll HS?
Edit: I just finished posting and read your preceding post. The telepathy is freaky.
I have moments like that quite frequently but I've been told it's because i'm very approachable. Some of them normal just short chats like you experienced, others where I end up having some strange but unusually great night. I've noticed that when out with a group of friends, whether it be a man, woman or couple, if someone needs to ask someone a question I'm the one they chose. I've seen people cut through the group to get to me just to ask me "hey, do you know where _____?" Never really been able to explain it. I'm not talkative. If I go to a bar alone, I'll get chatted up by whoever is next to me. Yet I have friends that can sit at a bar all night and no one say a word to them. I've gotten to know someone at most of the stores I shop at, restaurants, etc and there are over 3 million people in this city. They just seem to chat me up more than others. I wish it was charisma, but it's not. Just something about me that makes people want to talk to me. I'm not complaining though, i'm thankful. Helps make up for the fact that I'm not overly handsome, lol. And it makes making friends in a new city easier.
I'm going to fall back on the type thing. First, you can tell from eye contact and body language, if a conversation will ensue. Second, it all depends on how interpersonal styles mesh. I have taken transatlantic flights where the conversation with the passenger in the next seat was limited to "hello," "I need to use the restroom," and "have a nice trip." I have also had transatlantic flights where I talked and cut up with the passenger in the next seat the whole way, save meal time and some snooze time. So, my answer is, it depends.
BTW, do you B-ham folks still have Bruno's, thinking of both the gum-chewing cashier and my "ethnic" friend who went to John Carroll HS?
They sold out and took the money before Publix came to town, chiefly because the second generation of owners just weren't as sharp as the founders. However, there are a few Bruno's around that were bought by another concern. Now the Bruno family puts on sporting events such as golf tournaments as a way to give themselves a reason to get up in the morning. But they're all as rich as Croesus. I live about half a mile from their 'compound' in Mountain Brook, composed mainly of large, Italianate villas scattered up and down a hillside. I think the smallest shack among them is somewhere around 15,000 square feet.
I don' think I have ever struck up a conversation with a stranger out in public other than at a meetup or something like that where it's a social gathering. I would have just said thanks. I'm an introvert so it takes me quite a bit of energy to converse with strangers. I'm nice so I'm polite when spoken to. I also assume people are busy and don't want to converse much. I know I"m missing out on interesting life stories, but oh well.
Plus the conversations I have in my head are fun enough, j/k.
their 'compound' in Mountain Brook, composed mainly of large, Italianate villas scattered up and down a hillside. I think the smallest shack among them is somewhere around 15,000 square feet.
Yeah, I didn't see their trucks on the road in AL around Montgomery while driving from ATL to Pensacola in 2007.
So, yeah, then, their compound sounds kind of tacky. This is the case with most people in their "situation." Well, at least they saw to it that their next-gen kin was taken care of.
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