What if Men had a 90-day Rule....on their wallets?? (advice, anniversary)
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What's basically wrong here is that dating is being seen as a transaction, rather than as a chance to find and build a mutually beneficial and satisfying partnership. However, if a woman wants to impose a 90-day rule for intimacy, I am very unlikely to date her at all, much less start imposing rules of my own. Such rules are artificial, and unless we both share the same standards on whatever "rule issue" is involved, we're not compatible to begin with.
I'm often amused by these threads about men being essentially "forced" to give up their money in order to obtain the favours of women.
I most often infer that these must be fairly dull individuals who have nothing else to offer.
Here, it's fairly simple:
If you want to be with her then be WITH HER. This need not require "fine dining".
There's fine dining to be shared at a good burrito stand.
There's fine dining to be enjoyed in a local park, which is FAR better for getting to know someone than "dinner and a movie".
There's fine dining to be had at a diner over pie and coffee and a milkshake.
There IS NEITHER DECLARATION NOR INTIMATION that you need to be "shelling out the big bucks". I keep hearing the $100 dating experience bandied about, which IS about the cost of a REALLY NICE dinner and a movie, plus gas.
Here is how you decide whether or not you want to see her again:
If you pick out a nice date (bookstore, coffee shop, diner, walk in the park with ice cream, day at a local fete, walk down an interesting street filled with little shops and back-alley stores, ZOO fer cryin' out loud -- this is NOT rocket science) and SHE seems to want more out of you financially but is withholding what YOU want in return -- DON'T DATE HER ANYMORE.
If she seems more interested in your wallet than in you -- DON'T DATE HER ANYMORE.
If you're trying to find out whether she'd prefer Wagner's Dream or The Avengers in IMAX and she's asking about your tax bracket -- DON'T DATE HER ANYMORE.
Let her be someone else's problem. There are other fish in the sea.
Once you've been together a while and you LIKE each other -- go out and drop $100 on a nice date. But go to the park again, seriously. Skip the movie. Women really DO enjoy walks on the beach IF you've the sense to bring a blanket, some food and drink, and you are HOPING to get laid but not EXPECTING it.
If, on the other hand, ALL you're looking for is return on your investment, ie., to take her out and to also receive sex in return for your money, then either hire yourself a professional OR accept that you may have to shell out MORE money before you've shelled out enough. If that's your goal to begin with, you have NO right to complain about her withholding until she feels she's been adequately compensated -- after all YOU began this as "Business" and SHE is merely applying the laws of Supply and Demand.
All "dates" are dutch until the 90 day anniversary? Good luck with any of them lasting that long. This Dutch stuff is a mystery to me, you invite someone out and they pay for their own? How is this a date?
No wonder so many guys are having problems finding a woman and come here to cry about it.
Maybe women should invite men out and pay then....
First of all OP, I never even heard of the 90 day rule. I kinda got the idea after reading a few posts. Let me say this to you. I have every right to say when, where, and with who I will sleep with. That's the only 'rule' I have. Why some men get pissed JUST because a woman wants to get to know a guy before she lets him shove his c--k in her is beyond me. Actually..no it isnt. Its because all a lot of men think about is getting laid. And you wonder why a woman wants to see if a guy is into HER rather than what's between her legs. I will NOT sleep with a guy until we both get to know more about each other and find out if we are both on the same page as to how we feel about each other. And I dont need his money, I have my own. He doesnt want to buy the movie tickets, who cares. Because in all reality, someone else will.
Why do some of you men seem so offended because some women want to get to know you, and see what you are about before she spreads her legs?? Has sex become THAT worthless? You think because you spend 15 bucks on a woman at Chilli's that she should be spreading for you?? I have a good job. I can buy my own damn meal...clothes, etc. Heck I can buy a sex toy..and I can even buy sperm. Do you want women to get that attitude, and look at you and say they dont need you?? Then, you guys will be complaining that women are too independent. I feel that the sleeping together issue is on a whole different level. If a guy asks me out,for example, why cant he pay? I am more than willing to treat a man, and I have on lots of occassions. Hell, I damn near supported my ex-boyfriend. Dont get me going. Sex is a more powerful and emotional thing between two people than deciding who pays for the pizza, or who buys the movie tickets.
Some men act offended by opening the wallet, yet they consistently go after these high maintenanced women because they are hot or have' big boobs' or something. The prima donnas. The low key women who arent all into a man's wallet get passed over. I see this all the time. You say you hate these gold diggers, but you PICK them a lot. Every chick I know that expects a man to cater to them with his wallet has NO problem getting men. None. Gee..go figure.
You men who are so offended about being made to wait for sex, do you have daughters? So, when you are at home looking at your precious 6 year old daughter with her pig tails, you are okay with her going on a first date with a guy when she is in college and bringing him back to her dorm room and letting him bang her doggie style? That's what you will tell your daughters? "It's okay honey. you dont need to get to know a guy.. and its rude to make him wait. Just let him bend you over the first week you guys are dating, honey. Make daddy proud".
Or would you tell your daughter to not feel pressured, and to get to know a guy, and only do something when she feels ready..and that sex can be a wonderful thing and should not be taken lightly? Dont be a hypocrite. If you think a woman you met only 2 weeks ago and have been on two dates with should be banging you like a porn star, then tell your daughters, your sisters, and even your divorced mama to saddle up and do the same thing.
First of all OP, I never even heard of the 90 day rule. I kinda got the idea after reading a few posts. Let me say this to you. I have every right to say when, where, and with who I will sleep with. That's the only 'rule' I have. Why some men get pissed JUST because a woman wants to get to know a guy before she lets him shove his c--k in her is beyond me. Actually..no it isnt. Its because all a lot of men think about is getting laid. And you wonder why a woman wants to see if a guy is into HER rather than what's between her legs. I will NOT sleep with a guy until we both get to know more about each other and find out if we are both on the same page as to how we feel about each other. And I dont need his money, I have my own. He doesnt want to buy the movie tickets, who cares. Because in all reality, someone else will.
Why do some of you men seem so offended because some women want to get to know you, and see what you are about before she spreads her legs?? Has sex become THAT worthless? You think because you spend 15 bucks on a woman at Chilli's that she should be spreading for you?? I have a good job. I can buy my own damn meal...clothes, etc. Heck I can buy a sex toy..and I can even buy sperm. Do you want women to get that attitude, and look at you and say they dont need you?? Then, you guys will be complaining that women are too independent. I feel that the sleeping together issue is on a whole different level. If a guy asks me out,for example, why cant he pay? I am more than willing to treat a man, and I have on lots of occassions. Hell, I damn near supported my ex-boyfriend. Dont get me going. Sex is a more powerful and emotional thing between two people than deciding who pays for the pizza, or who buys the movie tickets.
Some men act offended by opening the wallet, yet they consistently go after these high maintenanced women because they are hot or have' big boobs' or something. The prima donnas. The low key women who arent all into a man's wallet get passed over. I see this all the time. You say you hate these gold diggers, but you PICK them a lot. Every chick I know that expects a man to cater to them with his wallet has NO problem getting men. None. Gee..go figure.
You men who are so offended about being made to wait for sex, do you have daughters? So, when you are at home looking at your precious 6 year old daughter with her pig tails, you are okay with her going on a first date with a guy when she is in college and bringing him back to her dorm room and letting him bang her doggie style? That's what you will tell your daughters? "It's okay honey. you dont need to get to know a guy.. and its rude to make him wait. Just let him bend you over the first week you guys are dating, honey. Make daddy proud".
Or would you tell your daughter to not feel pressured, and to get to know a guy, and only do something when she feels ready..and that sex can be a wonderful thing and should not be taken lightly? Dont be a hypocrite. If you think a woman you met only 2 weeks ago and have been on two dates with should be banging you like a porn star, then tell your daughters, your sisters, and even your divorced mama to saddle up and do the same thing.
Yeah, add my *wild applause* to this as well! THIS. All of it. Complainers, read it. And then read it again.
Just saying,what if men played the same waiting games with women??
How far would you women be willing to go for a guy who wouldn't spend a cent on you for the first 90 days?
Every date and outting would be Dutch until after his 90-day rule.
I've dont have any "rule" and like many others have never heard of this 90 day rule. I dont play games either.
A guy that dosent pay for anything when we go out is called a friend. Even among friends sometimes they pick up the tab for me or I pick up the tab for them, male or female. Geesh.
Anyone that refused to kick in on any expenses ever I would consider cheap and not date or even hang out with for long.
I agree with Urbans post. Going out dosent have to cost a lot of money. I dont think a guy should have to pay for all dates and I dont think that it is all that common anymore. In real life, I never hear the complaining or it even being an issue. Most people dating take turns paying or both kick in on the expense. I still hold to first dates: he who asks pays.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,054,732 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
I've dont have any "rule" and like many others have never heard of this 90 day rule. I dont play games either.
A guy that dosent pay for anything when we go out is called a friend. Even among friends sometimes they pick up the tab for me or I pick up the tab for them, male or female. Geesh.
Anyone that refused to kick in on any expenses ever I would consider cheap and not date or even hang out with for long.
I agree with Urbans post. Going out dosent have to cost a lot of money. I dont think a guy should have to pay for all dates and I dont think that it is all that common anymore. In real life, I never hear the complaining or it even being an issue. Most people dating take turns paying or both kick in on the expense. I still hold to first dates: he who asks pays.
Or she, lol, jk.
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