Just because you're attractive doesn't mean you're a great catch! (married, men)
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I'll come out and say it right now: I'm not a good catch.
Why I'm not a good catch
- I'm only 5'8"
- Despite being in good shape, I have a bigger frame and I look bigger than I am. I'm not thin but I have strong visible abs, just not a six pack.
- I'm not super close to my family
- I am not much of a challenge. I can't help but show my cards when I like a girl. I'm not very good at playing games with her to maintain her interest.
- I've been burned too many times by the women I've cared for
- My heart is still broken a year from my last breakup. By no means do I wish to be back with any of my ex's, but I feel like I don't have any feelings or emotion to offer a woman anymore.
- I dislike the dating process. I enjoy the actual dates, but it's the game playing inbetween that I despise....and suck at.
- I have no desire to make an effort to pursue a woman, mostly because I just don't care anymore.
You're being coy, here. Everything here is a non-reason, it's all irrelevant, except for the fact that you seem burned out by the search process, and at a fairly young age. That's sad.
In fact, the fact that you show your cards belongs in the "+" category.
You're being coy, here. Everything here is a non-reason, it's all irrelevant, except for the fact that you seem burned out by the search process, and at a fairly young age. That's sad.
In fact, the fact that you show your cards belongs in the "+" category.
I disagree it really isn't a positive to show all your cards at first to anyone. Depending on the girl it may scare her off if she's a normal girl or lead you to get taken advantage of if she's a user.
I'll come out and say it right now: I'm not a good catch.
I'm 29 year old male and I have many good things going for me, but I have enough things about me that women will consider me not a good catch.
Analysis Below:
Good things
- I have a stable job, make good money, and I'm successful at what I do
- I have my own apartment
- I have many hobbies: I play league baseball, football with friends, I've been playing guitar with lessons for 6 months now, and I'm going camping a few times this summer
- I'm in great athletic shape
- I've never cheated and never will, I'm loyal
- I am truly open and honest, I believe in good communication
- I will stick with a relationship if I really care about the person and do what it takes to make it work, I don't believe in just giving up.
- I'm kind, funny, and respectful in the dating process. I know how to treat a woman.
Why I'm not a good catch
- I'm only 5'8"
- Despite being in good shape, I have a bigger frame and I look bigger than I am. I'm not thin but I have strong visible abs, just not a six pack.
- I'm not super close to my family
- I am not much of a challenge. I can't help but show my cards when I like a girl. I'm not very good at playing games with her to maintain her interest.
- I've been burned too many times by the women I've cared for
- My heart is still broken a year from my last breakup. By no means do I wish to be back with any of my ex's, but I feel like I don't have any feelings or emotion to offer a woman anymore.
- I dislike the dating process. I enjoy the actual dates, but it's the game playing inbetween that I despise....and suck at.
- I have no desire to make an effort to pursue a woman, mostly because I just don't care anymore.
Dude my SIL is engaged to a 26 year old that sounds very much like you. He was even bitter for a number of reasons. He met a good girl and they got to know each other. They fell in love and seem happy. Believe it will never happen if you like but its really not impossible.
I disagree it really isn't a positive to show all your cards at first to anyone. Depending on the girl it may scare her off if she's a normal girl or lead you to get taken advantage of if she's a user.
At first? You should never show them all. If you do, they get "comfortable" with you, or they think they have you figured out and they will lose interest. If they think there's more to learn about you constantly then that's the only real way to keep them around.
No one wants to sit through a movie when they know how it's going to end.
Quote:
Originally Posted by southshorelady
Dude my SIL is engaged to a 26 year old that sounds very much like you. He was even bitter for a number of reasons. He met a good girl and they got to know each other. They fell in love and seem happy. Believe it will never happen if you like but its really not impossible.
Yeah, if I were to keep at it and keep pursuing women. I just can't do that anymore, so my chances of meeting a great girl are vastly reduced with my reluctance to participate and make the initial move.
Chi likes to turn every thread into a pity party. Everyone put on your sad clown face and grab a party hat.
Awww, I was just giving an example of someone who is willing to admit they're not a good catch. At least I can take a look in the mirror and give a fair evaluation. I'd consider that a positive trait above someone who trolls threads with intent to harass, insult, or disrespect opinions.
But hey, if it makes you happy, I can take your heat.
so what are they saying now...being attractive as a woman isn't enough to make you a great catch? but you still need to be attractive in the first place for them to figure out if you are a great catch or not?
Chi likes to turn every thread into a pity party. Everyone put on your sad clown face and grab a party hat.
Turtle also likes to perceive everything as gamesmanship. Don't be sincere, don't show your cards, or the girl will lose interest. I don't know what kind of world these people are living in. I think a lot of people are picking the wrong women, they must be going for the hot ones, then they get bitter when the personality doesn't work out. But they keep making the same mistake, and going for the hot ones.
if you are a woman you need to be attractive, yes. that doesn't mean you need to be a supermodel but you need to be attractive, as in, take care of your appearance, look nice. Most women do this. A woman who doesn't could not be a great catch at all.
if you are a woman you need to be attractive, yes. that doesn't mean you need to be a supermodel but you need to be attractive, as in, take care of your appearance, look nice.Most women do this. A woman who doesn't could not be a great catch at all.
it's nothing but a big run around, okay you do this, do that. either way male never satisfied.
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Awww, I was just giving an example of someone who is willing to admit they're not a good catch. At least I can take a look in the mirror and give a fair evaluation. I'd consider that a positive trait above someone who trolls threads with intent to harass, insult, or disrespect opinions.
