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I was on a site that listed things you want from your partner - like drug use, alcohol consumption or smoking. If they read my list and contact me in spite of drug use then I don't bother. They should have taken the time to read it. If they don't use drugs but I'm still not interested then I do answer them back.
I think it depends on the situation. Sometimes I do respond, but I never led them on to think I am interested. I am honest that I don't think we are a good match. But like others have said sometimes there are too many to respond too and sometimes it's just not that serious and I don't respond.
Say someone your not interested in messages you on a dating site like okcupid or match or plenty of fish.
Is it polite to message them back even if your not interested or is it better to just ignore?
All you have to do is read through this forum a few minutes and you'll find a bijillion threads complaining about stuck-up women that never respond to messages and how online dating sucks because of that and blah blah blah.
I really think its best to just not to respond. I've been doing online dating for a while, and it used to bug me at first when women didn't respond, but at times women would respond and then just stop, and I felt worse. I kind of learned to live with not getting responses from people not interested, it actually hurts a lot less as time goes on.
I think responding to someone might miss lead them, and if you aebn't interested, than its a waste of time.
Personally I have thanked every woman that responded to me that said they just weren't interested. I see it as a very kind and respectful gesture. I've always done the same for the few emails from women that I wasn't interested in.
There's a small percentage of rude people out there. Should you stop thanking people for gifts if because you had one friend who didn't respond well to it? Should you stop holding the door open for people because 1 or 2 of them were offended by it?
Here's what some very smart women I know have done in online dating response emails. Their rule of thumb:
If the man took the time to write a nice and thoughtful email that was respectul they would respond politely that they just weren't interested or they would say they already met someone/moving away, etc.
If some guy just emails them saying "hey you're cute, let's meet up" then they would not consider that as a true effort that warranted a response.
Majority of the girls on there don't respond to me. Majority of the girls I send messages to have the "reply very selectively" next to their name. That thing is the least of my worries, I don't think most guys care about how often you respond because obviously you're going to respond to him
That being said, I don't get many responses... even from girls I would consider below my standards.
I understand where chi-turtle is coming from, but I guess I'd rather just not have a girl respond. If you don't respond I guess I just don't care, so if you're going to respond and say not interested I'm probably just going to roll my eyes and delete your message.
There have been times I've written to guys and they haven't replied. Oh well. I would much prefer someone just not reply. I can take a hint. It's different when you've been out on a few dates or you've been emailing for an extended time, but one message alone does not merit a response that you're not interested. I don't take it personally when someone doesn't reply after one message or even if we've sent a few.
There have been times I've written to guys and they haven't replied. Oh well. I would much prefer someone just not reply. I can take a hint. It's different when you've been out on a few dates or you've been emailing for an extended time, but one message alone does not merit a response that you're not interested. I don't take it personally when someone doesn't reply after one message or even if we've sent a few.
Everyone will had different preferences. I don't really care either way if I just send an email and I get no reply. It is what it is. But I always welcome a response if it's polite even though it's a rejection. I'd rather reward that kind of behavior with a thank you and try to discern the idea that if you reply guys only blow up in your face. It's just my way of going against the grain I guess.
But even if you've gone out a few times, I STILL have women just ignore me. It's like to them it doesn't matter if you've gone out once or even 4 times....they still don't feel like it would be respectful to at least tell the guy she's not interested next time he calls.
Depends on the message. If it simply says 'hi' or something completely Unimaginative I wont bother replying. Same goes with messages that are lewd or rude. I do consider it in bad taste to send someone a message that simply says 'hey sexy' and nothing more.
If its a thoughtful message I'll try and reply, because even if I'm not attracted to a man right off the bat, I realize that his personality can more than make up for it.
This ^ is how I handled it when I was doing online dating. As long as the men's messages weren't creepy or lewd, I sent a kind reply to each one.
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Everyone will had different preferences. I don't really care either way if I just send an email and I get no reply. It is what it is. But I always welcome a response if it's polite even though it's a rejection. I'd rather reward that kind of behavior with a thank you and try to discern the idea that if you reply guys only blow up in your face. It's just my way of going against the grain I guess.
But even if you've gone out a few times, I STILL have women just ignore me. It's like to them it doesn't matter if you've gone out once or even 4 times....they still don't feel like it would be respectful to at least tell the guy she's not interested next time he calls.
There's a big difference between not replying to one email and going out 4 times and then falling off the face of the earth. And I will (respectfully) point out that sometimes men flake on us. I've had guys fall off the face of the earth on me too.
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