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I met a girl three weeks ago (26 y/o). We had about 10 dates thus far. We connected really really well on all levels (mentaly, sexually, future plans etc.) I never bonded better with a girl in my life, I feel that this is really something special. I'm pretty sure that she thinks the same about me.
I have one problem and I don't know what to do about it: she is a little bit overweight for my liking (not fat), I didn't really see this until the last date when we got naked. I am a thin guy myself (and work very hard to maintain this form), and so this issue troubles me. I really wish that I didn't have this preference for thin form, but I have and I can't help it...
She is an attractive girl neverthelss, and can easily find good looking lovers. I saw that she is aware about healthy eating, and tries to eat well.
I know that weight is a very very very sensitive matter for most girls, and I'm afraid that if I'll mention this issue she will be deeply offended.
What do you think I should do ? not mention it and try to live with it ? mention it in some way ?
Dude...
Why do you have to ask this question online?
Can you not decide if you like a person yourself?
Are you going to tally up the yes and nos and if there is a majority popular vote, decide you are attracted to her?
If some anonymous d@uchebag on City Data with an idiotic handle like Jobaba told you to dump a woman that you've never connected with better because she's a fat whale, would you listen to him?
I met a girl three weeks ago (26 y/o). We had about 10 dates thus far. We connected really really well on all levels (mentaly, sexually, future plans etc.) I never bonded better with a girl in my life, I feel that this is really something special. I'm pretty sure that she thinks the same about me.
I have one problem and I don't know what to do about it: she is a little bit overweight for my liking (not fat), I didn't really see this until the last date when we got naked. I am a thin guy myself (and work very hard to maintain this form), and so this issue troubles me. I really wish that I didn't have this preference for thin form, but I have and I can't help it...
She is an attractive girl neverthelss, and can easily find good looking lovers. I saw that she is aware about healthy eating, and tries to eat well.
I know that weight is a very very very sensitive matter for most girls, and I'm afraid that if I'll mention this issue she will be deeply offended.
What do you think I should do ? not mention it and try to live with it ? mention it in some way ?
For the 50 millionth time on these threads, ACCEPT PEOPLE AS THEY ARE WHEN YOU MEET THEM OR FIND SOMEONE ELSE.
I mean, really. Is it that hard for people to know themselves and what they want, and are there that many control freaks out there who absolutely must try to change every little perceived imperfection about someone to suit their anal-retentive little tastes?
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonesy123
The fact that she has a few extra pounds has some toll on the physical attraction I feel for her...
I agree that it's very hard to see how mentioning this will result in a good outcome... I mean, even in the best case scenario, where she takes it well and tries to do something about it, there are no guarantees that she'll succeed... and even if she will on the short term, will she have enough will power to keep this change permanent ?
WTH? Is she a doll that you get to decide how to shape her body to your liking, and if she doesn't, she fails?
Please, do her the favor of letting her go. As you said, she can find better men.
I met a girl three weeks ago (26 y/o). We had about 10 dates thus far. We connected really really well on all levels (mentaly, sexually, future plans etc.) I never bonded better with a girl in my life, I feel that this is really something special. I'm pretty sure that she thinks the same about me.
I have one problem and I don't know what to do about it: she is a little bit overweight for my liking (not fat), I didn't really see this until the last date when we got naked. I am a thin guy myself (and work very hard to maintain this form), and so this issue troubles me. I really wish that I didn't have this preference for thin form, but I have and I can't help it...
She is an attractive girl neverthelss, and can easily find good looking lovers. I saw that she is aware about healthy eating, and tries to eat well.
I know that weight is a very very very sensitive matter for most girls, and I'm afraid that if I'll mention this issue she will be deeply offended.
What do you think I should do ? not mention it and try to live with it ? mention it in some way ?
If you ever find someone who is absolutely ideal for you in every conceivable way, let me know. I'll throw you a party. There are of course "deal-breakers". If a few extra pounds is is a deal-breaker for you, then that's your call. For me, up-front deal-breakers are smoking, cussing (unless the guy is really angry), and of course the standard hygiene criteria.
I had a blind date with a guy who had two missing fingers on his hand. I was grossed for about ten minutes. But we had such a great time that by the end of the evening I wanted to hold that hand. Go figure.
This makes no sense. If she was that overweight you would have noticed that without her being naked. *Seriously*
If you met her that way, why would you try to change her. It would be different you met her at a certain weight. She couldn't have gained that much weight after 10 dates. I only read the first page and I can't believe believe people are suggesting you help her lose weight. Your the problem not her.
You sound really immature. I wish she knew and would dump you. Hopefully she's smart enough to get rid of you now.
For the 50 millionth time on these threads, ACCEPT PEOPLE AS THEY ARE WHEN YOU MEET THEM OR FIND SOMEONE ELSE.
I mean, really. Is it that hard for people to know themselves and what they want, and are there that many control freaks out there who absolutely must try to change every little perceived imperfection about someone to suit their anal-retentive little tastes?
WTH? Is she a doll that you get to decide how to shape her body to your liking, and if she doesn't, she fails?
Please, do her the favor of letting her go. As you said, she can find better men.
Interesting how you say you've been on 10 dates...and you connected "really, really well" mentally, sexually etc...how did you manage sex before your 10th date while still dressed??....I don't believe you when you say you think "this is really something special"......reason being as soon as I read "She is an attractive girl never the less, and can easily find good looking lovers"...That sounds like something a man would say AFTER he's already left. I knew right then that this wasn't all THAT special....I think you really want to leave this girl.....you're just here because you're hoping people will tell you what you really want to hear....that you should leave her...I think you already know that's what you're going to do....I just feel sorry for this woman....and I think you used her...got your fill...and now you want out.....I think you're using her weight as your excuse....realistically you'd probably be doing her a favor.
Women get on their man about making more money all the time....I say lay it on her how you feel.
Or, if she's REALLY that special to you, you'll overlook it.
My take: you just don't appreciate her. It happens.
Really? Women do that all the time? Would you stay with someone who told you after 10 dates that you might be the one - but you need to make more money? I sure wouldn't.
The best answer would be to find another girlfriend. If you can't overlook a few extra pounds the situation can only get worse, and probably will as she ages. You do realize this is all in your head? There is nothing wrong with a few extra pounds, but your thoughts on this aren't going to change. There is no way to tell her that she is too fat for you without hurting her feelings, and she doesn't deserve hurt feelings.
I met a girl three weeks ago (26 y/o). We had about 10 dates thus far. We connected really really well on all levels (mentaly, sexually, future plans etc.) I never bonded better with a girl in my life, I feel that this is really something special. I'm pretty sure that she thinks the same about me.
I have one problem and I don't know what to do about it: she is a little bit overweight for my liking (not fat), I didn't really see this until the last date when we got naked. I am a thin guy myself (and work very hard to maintain this form), and so this issue troubles me. I really wish that I didn't have this preference for thin form, but I have and I can't help it...
She is an attractive girl neverthelss, and can easily find good looking lovers. I saw that she is aware about healthy eating, and tries to eat well.
I know that weight is a very very very sensitive matter for most girls, and I'm afraid that if I'll mention this issue she will be deeply offended.
What do you think I should do ? not mention it and try to live with it ? mention it in some way ?
Make the gym together a activity together. No reason to tell her just tell her its something you would like to do with her together as a partner. When she is your gf she will do it.
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