question about finding a nice guy to date/marry (girl, younger, family)
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That's assuming all men in their 30s/40s want 20-something women which is not true unless the guy is going through a midlife crisis or some other lame crap. Speaking for myself here, I do not want a woman who could possibly be my daughter. Yuck!
The title of this thread is misleading. OP doesn't want a simple "nice guy".
She wants a nice guy with a laundry list of other credentials. (spirituality, professional income, graduate degree, family oriented, monogamous, attractive, intelligent, in good shape, drug and STD free, not previously married and no children and of course, no criminal record or bad credit).
OP there are a ton of nice guys out there, they may have a past or some flaw though. I hope you're faultless yourself to be so picky.
Ever think that the guy that meets all this criteria may not want you because he can do better or his laundry list of credentials for a women is 3X as long as yours?
I have to wonder OP, what exactly do you bring to the table?
The title of this thread is misleading. OP doesn't want a simple "nice guy".
She wants a nice guy with a laundry list of other credentials. (spirituality, professional income, graduate degree, family oriented, monogamous, attractive, intelligent, in good shape, drug and STD free, not previously married and no children and of course, no criminal record or bad credit).
Hate to say it, but that's how it usually is. 'Nice' guy wanted BUT... must have this, must have that. Oh, and be TDH too.
Turns out... in the end, 'nice' is the quality that sits squarely in the position of dead last on the list.
That's assuming all men in their 30s/40s want 20-something women which is not true unless the guy is going through a midlife crisis or some other lame crap. Speaking for myself here, I do not want a woman who could possibly be my daughter. Yuck!
They were potential reasons. Not assuming anything.
The parts in bold say a lot more than you might realize.
I guess they like the free beer.
Hah, whatever...I recently went out with a 23 year old teacher. Much more mature than the 30-something women I've met.
I call them girls because that implies they're fit, fun and attractive. "Women" sounds like some boring old hag who thinks Dancing With The Stars is the pinnacle of entertainment, stuffing her face with Doritos on the weekends. Not interested whatsoever.
Hmmm...I'm not sure the OP actually wants a life partner, I think maybe she just wants kids. OP - I have several friends who have adopted as single women, if that is really want you want you may want to consider it rather than trying to rush into a relationship in order to have a family.
Maybe I was just younger when I married (late 20s) but I've always felt like my marriage is about my husband and I and our relationship, the kids are just icing on the cake They only live with you for 18yrs (if you're lucky!) and then you have a whole lifetime to spend with your spouse.
As for where to look...I'm surrounded by eligible men and I'm married, of course they don't all meet your requirements. I'm think off the top of my head of my hot and successful contractor that's working on our remodel (I'm guessing he makes mid 6 figures), the divorcee across the street with custody of his 2 young boys (successful attorney), and the widower who's kids go to school with my kids. Any woman would be lucky to have any one of them.
If you want a child concentrate on that, if you really want a man loosen up and go for what you find are appealing characteristics (attractiveness (to me), sense of humor, ambition, would be mine) and cut out the laundry list of requirements.
A.) introverted/socially awkward or better yet virgins
b.) work or school driven (work-aholics) probably dont want a family
c.) probably not the monogamous type (player)-probably dont want a family either
d.) may have some mental health/drug addiction problems
e.) they are hot and chase the younger chicks (20-somethings-not 34-somethings that "look" 20 something) f.) gone through bad dating experiences in their 20's and are turned off by the idea of dating. - g.) have seen their friends go through marriage and found they are either miserable or divorced and want none of that. h.) realized they don't need a woman to be happy, freedom is sweet
Hmmm...I'm not sure the OP actually wants a life partner, I think maybe she just wants kids. OP - I have several friends who have adopted as single women, if that is really want you want you may want to consider it rather than trying to rush into a relationship in order to have a family.
Maybe I was just younger when I married (late 20s) but I've always felt like my marriage is about my husband and I and our relationship, the kids are just icing on the cake They only live with you for 18yrs (if you're lucky!) and then you have a whole lifetime to spend with your spouse.
As for where to look...I'm surrounded by eligible men and I'm married, of course they don't all meet your requirements. I'm think off the top of my head of my hot and successful contractor that's working on our remodel (I'm guessing he makes mid 6 figures), the divorcee across the street with custody of his 2 young boys (successful attorney), and the widower who's kids go to school with my kids. Any woman would be lucky to have any one of them.
If you want a child concentrate on that, if you really want a man loosen up and go for what you find are appealing characteristics (attractiveness (to me), sense of humor, ambition, would be mine) and cut out the laundry list of requirements.
I mean, this is such a good idea and one that I am so surprised more people don't pursue. I definitely would consider this whether I was single or married even. When you are adopting, you are also helping to improve a life that could have been otherwise disadvantaged and horrid.
I mean, what is such the big deal of having a child who looks like you. I don't think I'm so great looking anyway. And the chances of my son not being short would go up exponentially.
And as woman ... your body is going to look great still into your 40s!
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They only live with you for 18yrs (if you're lucky!) and then you have a whole lifetime to spend with your spouse. 