question about finding a nice guy to date/marry (how to, attracted, child)
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The professional income is an extremely important criteria, because I plan to become a stay at home mom for 3 years or so. To maintain a decent quality of life, I need him to make a six figure salary.
I'm sorry, but this is just an insane sentiment. I'm literally speechless.
I don't know. You'd be surprised. I mean - in all honesty - sometimes there are reasons that someone is single.
i guess. women like this are absolutely terrifying.. setting some dude up for optimal resource extraction. No clue what men like, no interest in figuring it out. Probably wants a high-income man so the eventual child support payments will be higher, and the 'professional' status so his imputed income will remain high.
knowing that people like this exist just makes me want to write off the whole gender and go buy a fleshlight.
Last edited by Cletus Awreetus-Awrightus; 05-16-2012 at 01:55 PM..
OP, life does not go according to your plan. Divorced people with kids meet and fall in love and make it work. Women have babies after age 35. I did. Jobs come and go. Income rises and falls.
The professional income is an extremely important criteria, because I plan to become a stay at home mom for 3 years or so. To maintain a decent quality of life, I need him to make a six figure salary.
You're doing a whole lot of planning for someone you haven't met yet. Seriously. You may meet someone perfectly wonderful and compatible, fall in love, get married, have a baby, and then, as has happened to so very many people in recent years, boom, he loses his job.
And not for nothing, but I don't know a man who wants a woman to map out his own life like that. You plan to be a SAHM. Don't you think your husband deserves a say in the matter?
The more I read, the more I'm seeing why you're having problems meeting men. Everything you've said comes back to what you need someone else to do so that you can do or get what you want.
That's not what love and marriage are about. You don't sound like you're seeking a life partner to love and cherish as much you want to acquire a means to an end.
If I were you, I would put any and all attempts at dating on further hold until I got to know some men as friends, and friends only, so that I could come to see them as human beings, and not just a tool for adding another achievement to the CV of your life.
i guess. women like this are absolutely terrifying.. setting some dude up for optimal resource extraction. No clue what men like, no interest in figuring it out. Probably wants a high-income man so the eventual child support payments will be higher, and the 'professional' status so his imputed income will remain high.
it makes me want to write off the whole gender and go buy a fleshlight.
That's not what I meant. I meant that some women (and men) make plans for everything. They make lists for everything. They don't understand that life doesn't work that way. This woman has said nothing about child support and such. That's what you chose to put on this.
There are many people on CD that seem to think that having a checklist is the way to go. Well - life has a funny way of taking those checklists and throwing them to the wind.
In all honesty - there is nothing wrong with wanting to find someone who makes 6 figures. Hell - wouldn't that be great if we ALL made six figures? Even better - if we all made six figures doing what we love. Hell, make that 7 figures!!! But to make that a necessity is missing the point of life and love.
OP, life does not go according to your plan. Divorced people with kids meet and fall in love and make it work. Women have babies after age 35. I did. Jobs come and go. Income rises and falls.
Look up from your checklist and live your life.
Ok. Then let's go from there.
OP, your approach and outlook are not conducive with a happy or lasting marriage or mentally healthy, confident children. Have you witnessed any happy and successful marriages in which the woman has gone out with a checklist of this nature - including dealbreakers in education, income, marital history - and landed in a relationship with a man who loves her and cherishes her and wants to raise a family with her? I doubt it. Because currently you're headed for a rushed marriage, a bitter divorce and some traumatized offspring.
What alarms me the most is that you have no fundamental requirement with regard to character other than "nice." Everything else is largely cosmetic trappings. You have no reference to interests or hobbies, sense of humor, kindness, creativity. Nothing that renders someone human. There is no human component in what you have outlined for us. Your imagined partner appears to be mainly a means to an end.
With all due respect, you should see a therapist before you begin dating. You need to manage your expectations and, no insult intended, re-evaluate your values and what matters.
P.S. Why did you work all those years if you're just going to quit?
My plan was never to work forever until the ripe old age of 65. I started a successful company and sold it for a nice profit. I'm far from rich, but quite fortunate. Although I'm no longer the owner, I'm serving in a key leadership position. At this time in my life, I want to focus on having a family.
I plan to use my savings to fund my future business ventures and establish a trust fund for my future children. I want them to have access to monetary funds when they are just starting out in life, so they have time to explore the world and find their passion. I don't want them boggled down with school loans and a monotonous 9 to 5 job.
And for the record, it's not really quitting, it's more or less taking a break to focus on something greater.
Last edited by AppleSpice22304; 05-16-2012 at 02:09 PM..
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