Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
*Sigh* As stated before, but since you didn't read: I only do this if I can tell they've been online since I emailed them. Does this make sense to you? If I know you've been online to see my email and you aren't responding back. It can only mean 2 things:
1. You're not interested (that's cool)
2. You're playing games with me (not cool)
For the record, again, modern technology (iphone, computer, ipad). It allows me to check email and the internet anytime, anywhere.
Ok, I get that. I still don't understand your impatience, although it's probably a good thing to rule out people who aren't prompt with you if that's your criteria.
Quote:
No, I'm just not playing THEIR game.
Ok, but I'm not sure what you expect. Game players don't end up with quality people. They end up with other effed up people.
And many women (including myself) will make these same assumptions about a guy who just wants to keep sending boring emails and not set up a meeting. Call me impatient but I'll cut people off for that real quick, but do what works for you.
If that works for you then great. I personally want to get to know someone. If she's not okay with that then it seems like she's either: 1. a serial dater and dates don't mean much to her or 2. she's got something to hide
I've done it both ways in the past. I've done the whole email once or twice and get the number and set a date right away thing....that never really worked for me. I felt as if I'm playing into their game of "let's see how many men I can date at once and I'll pick the best one" kind of thing. That works very well for women I'm sure, but that doesn't really work for me. I'd rather evaluate them a little more before I meet them before I waste my time and play into her rules. Instead I'm playing by my rules. The only difference is my rules are set to achieve a great relationship. Not to waste anyone's time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123
^^Maybe you should take some of your own advice. If you're seeing these women are online and not responding, that should tell you something. If they don't respond, move on to the next one.
Ummm, yeah, I am taking my own advice. I am moving on. I even tell them that in the email.....is this thread moving too fast for you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by burgler09
I'll give that much to you, but I think honestly some are just not always around. I think some can be pretty lame, when they probably have some sort of rule for themselves in how long they wait.
Yeah, I agree, but if I've seen them log on multiple times since and they don't repsond, it's games. I'm out.
Quote:
What I've been doing these last few days is sending out messages, or when I receive them I reply right away. I don't worry about how long it takes for the girl to respond to me, but I will not ask for a number from a girl unless she has been responding to my messages as soon as I send them and vice versa. I after about 5-6 messages back and forth quickly I will then get their facebook to double check them on the looks department and then 2-3 more messages I'll ask a date.
That's longer than I usually go. I like to maybe exchange like 3 emails each, then get their number, then chat at least once or twice and ask them out. To me that's long, maybe it's just the women I've seen in the past are so NOW NOW NOW that my process seems long but really isn't that bad.
Quote:
Another thing that bothers me about women on there is they seem like bad conversationalists, the ones that never respond with questions or only respond about themselves, I usually just kind of stop messaging them.. imagine how boring that'd be on a real date haha. Have you come across that at all whee you'll ask a question to them and they will answer your question but not add anything more to the convo?
Uh, yeah dude, I feel ya. Some women are so boring I almost feel bad for them. I figure it answers the main question: Why is this girl on a dating site? There's a reason for all of them. For them, the answer is because she can't make conversation to save her life. Some women are online because they don't meet many men and want to expand their network. I like those women, I want to meet those women. But some women just want a rebound, some women need to feed their ego, some women have an agenda to marry a guy to show off to friends and family. Some women aren't asked out often because they can't make conversation.
If you can answer that question, why is this woman online dating, then you figured her out and you can make your decision whether to date her or not from there.
Uh, yeah dude, I feel ya. Some women are so boring I almost feel bad for them. I figure it answers the main question: Why is this girl on a dating site? There's a reason for all of them. For them, the answer is because she can't make conversation to save her life. Some women are online because they don't meet many men and want to expand their network. I like those women, I want to meet those women. But some women just want a rebound, some women need to feed their ego, some women have an agenda to marry a guy to show off to friends and family. Some women aren't asked out often because they can't make conversation.
*Sigh* As stated before, but since you didn't read: I only do this if I can tell they've been online since I emailed them. Does this make sense to you? If I know you've been online to see my email and you aren't responding back. It can only mean 2 things:
1. You're not interested (that's cool)
2. You're playing games with me (not cool)
For the record, again, modern technology (iphone, computer, ipad). It allows me to check email and the internet anytime, anywhere.
No, I'm just not playing THEIR game.
If someone sent me a remark like that because I didn't respond right away I thought they seemed insane and like a control freak. I am a human. Not an on demand bot for pleasure or conversation. I have other stuff to do and other people to talk to.
You do realize that females get way more responses to sort though than you do right?
The more I've done online dating the more I've been able to figure out what works for me and what doesn't. I like to exchange 2 or 3 meaningful e-mails...meaning a few paragraphs more than just "hey what's up" and then I like to meet. I'd rather waste an hour or two having a drink with someone and found out we're not compatible instead of e-mail back and forth for a few weeks, really start to like them, and be disappointed when we don't click in person.
I think it's really immature to e-mail back someone who doesn't reply to tell them you're no longer interested. It's like you want to always be the one with the upper hand. I understand that feeling and I've been there...the person who cares less doesn't get as hurt, but you'll always lose with that kind of attitude. I wouldn't waste any further time with someone who doesn't reply. What's the point?
If I see someone playing games, why do I have to play? I like how some people are still stuck on the mindset that you have to cater to the women on these dating sites.
Mod cut: Offensive language. is this complicated???
If a woman is playing games then move on. Ignore her and search elsewhere. Good god... it's almost as if you have the attitude of "well, I'll show THEM! If THEY play games with me then by snip I'm gonna do the SAME thing! THAT'LL show THEM!"
Aren't you the dude who hates online dating anyway? I know I hate it but that's why I do not go there in the first place! Why are YOU there?
To expand my network of people, meet some nice women who are interested in either being friends or dating. Looking for women who are already happy with themselves, have something to offer, and know what it means to have a relationship.
I've already made one friend this week. We chat all the time now and we might meet up this weekend.
Not the reasons why I'm on:
- To find an immediate wife
- Boost my ego
- Feed my insecurity
- Because I'm desperate and lonely
- To find someone to make me happy
- Because I'm tired of being single
- To compete with my married friends
- Just to get laid
Mod cut: Offensive language. is this complicated???
If a woman is playing games then move on. Ignore her and search elsewhere. Good god... it's almost as if you have the attitude of "well, I'll show THEM! If THEY play games with me then by snip I'm gonna do the SAME thing! THAT'LL show THEM!"
Aren't you the dude who hates online dating anyway? I know I hate it but that's why I do not go there in the first place! Why are YOU there?
I like it now, I'm having fun with it and I'm not allowing myself to get in this trap.
I also find it more respectful to tell someone that you're no longer interested and tell them it was nice chatting with them, rather than just "fade away and disappear".
Obviously you think it's okay to just ignore people, I guess I hold a higher standard than you to just be polite and tell them I'm moving on.
It's not a matter of ILL SHOW YOU!, it's more a matter of decency. She can wait days to respond with the next guy, that's her choice and her business, not mine. It just doesn't work for me. Why are you so angry and demanding I have to play along? Why are you so against being polite?
If they are so interested in you or vice versa why are they not using the chat option on there?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I know I hate it but that's why I do not go there in the first place! Why are YOU there? 
