Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So Something we here a lot of is that you have to have "confidence" to have any success with woman. Now until recently, I thought that just meant that you had to be not so afraid to go up and approach women and be able to talk with them without being really shy and timid, but now I "think" I am beginning to understand the whole isuue of confidence, and how you can achieve it a little better. Burgler09 has really helped to put this in perspective for me, so thanks, along with other posters whos opinion I value.
So guys, what is self confidence, and how exactly does one achieve it? Here is what I am beginning to understand and grasp:
Confidence isn't just being at ease with the opposite sex, it's so much more. Sure, that's a part of it, but confidence is more of a mentality. It's in how you value your own self and your opinions, your skills and your talents. It's in your attitude towards yourself and towards others. It's how you carry yourself, how you talk, how you walk, and how you view your past experinces and whether you are enjoying your current ones. It's whether you are content with your lifestyle and how you are living it. It's measured in your success in relationships, both intimate and non, and how the participants in those relationships view you as a person.
Basically, if you are not happy with your current situation in life, this is going to affect your confidence level. If you have no confidence, I take that to mean that you have to do whatever it takes to improve it in order to gain confidence. Confidence isn't something that can be forced or faked, and it isn't something that is temporarily there long enough for you to approach a potential date. It's something that comes naturaly, and is just there. You either have it, or you don't. You can't force it, and you can't fake it.
So am I on the right track to discovering the true meaning of confidence?
So Something we here a lot of is that you have to have "confidence" to have any success with woman. Now until recently, I thought that just meant that you had to be not so afraid to go up and approach women and be able to talk with them without being really shy and timid, but now I "think" I am beginning to understand the whole isuue of confidence, and how you can achieve it a little better. Burgler09 has really helped to put this in perspective for me, so thanks, along with other posters whos opinion I value.
So guys, what is self confidence, and how exactly does one achieve it? Here is what I am beginning to understand and grasp:
Confidence isn't just being at ease with the opposite sex, it's so much more. Sure, that's a part of it, but confidence is more of a mentality. It's in how you value your own self and your opinions, your skills and your talents. It's in your attitude towards yourself and towards others. It's how you carry yourself, how you talk, how you walk, and how you view your past experinces and whether you are enjoying your current ones. It's whether you are content with your lifestyle and how you are living it. It's measured in your success in relationships, both intimate and non, and how the participants in those relationships view you as a person.
Basically, if you are not happy with your current situation in life, this is going to affect your confidence level. If you have no confidence, I take that to mean that you have to do whatever it takes to improve it in order to gain confidence. Confidence isn't something that can be forced or faked, and it isn't something that is temporarily there long enough for you to approach a potential date. It's something that comes naturaly, and is just there. You either have it, or you don't. You can't force it, and you can't fake it.
So am I on the right track to discovering the true meaning of confidence?
You can build it, that's for sure. I used to be pretty scared of public speaking. Not shaking-with-the-sweats-anxiety-attack scared, but still pretty scared. Now I have no problem standing in front of a class talking about some **** for ten minutes.
It's about getting out of your comfort zone enough times to the point where your comfort zone expands.
I don't know whipper snapper. I don't think about these things at all unless someone else brings it up. most of the people that pay attention to these little concepts and things about 'improving the self,' their lives aren't any better then the rest of us. From what I can tell they haven't elevated to a higher existence or anything by caring about these matters. so why waste time on it.
I don't know whipper snapper. I don't think about these things at all unless someone else brings it up. most of the people that pay attention to these little concepts and things about 'improving the self,' their lives aren't any better then the rest of us. From what I can tell they haven't elevated to a higher existence or anything by caring about these matters. so why waste time on it.
That's just not true. Just because you are incapable of self improvement doesn't mean that others aren't.
Some people out there actually DO want to get more out of life and enjoy it more. It does take a conscious effort to make positive changes at first, and later it just comes natural.
That's just not true. Just because you are incapable of self improvement doesn't mean that others aren't.
Some people out there actually DO want to get more out of life and enjoy it more. It does take a conscious effort to make positive changes at first, and later it just comes natural.
I didn't say others aren't capable of 'self improvement' I said I'M not interested in this type of crap. I don't think about it. I also said I don't see the people who do put so much stock into these things lives looking extraordinarily better then everyone else's. If you think they do, then that's your perspective. What do I care.
I disagree. It's all well and good to "love yourself for who you are" but to use the "lipstick on a pig" analogy, a pig that likes being a pig is still a pig.
Confidence is presenting yourself in a charismatic manner that conveys strength. This means such things as strong body posture, body language, eye contact, firmness and even toned naturally flowing conversation. Taking charge and leadership, initiating instead of receiving.
Confidence is also the absence of nervousness and unreasonable fear. Don't fidget, look away or slouch or other such signs of nervousness or fear. Don't be afraid to approach people, have strong body posture, have a naturally flowing conversation while making eye contact and don't stumble or show any hint of nervousness or indecision. Body motions should be in straight lines, not awkward curvatures. Do exactly what you want to do without being held back by unreasonable fears (reasonable fears, like breaking the law, you should still let inhibit you).
Ideally you should appear relaxed while doing all this, but at first it is essential to just make sure you convey strength and courage. When you get experience, you will appear relaxed as well since it will come naturally. Fake it till you make it.
In short, confidence is the conveyance of strength and the absence of unreasonable fear.
I didn't say others aren't capable of 'self improvement' I said I'M not interested in this type of crap. I don't think about it. I also said I don't see the people who do put so much stock into these things lives looking extraordinarily better then everyone else's. If you think they do, then that's your perspective. What do I care.
I know you're not interested in this "crap", and that's why you will remain unhappy while others will have a better life. Someone who is looking to make their life awesome isn't worried about whether or not you think it's bs, they'll be out enjoying it while you remain complaining.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
