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I would try to see where you are coming from but I can't shove my head that far up my backside. You failed to read that I said "Yes, I'm in a loving relationship with my GF however, it just happened." So yes, I have love but I don't need it. I'm not damaged or wounded but it's something I've never required myself to obtain. Love isn't going to provide for me. Love isn't something that will kill ME (important word) like it may perhaps you. I don't desperately see it but if there's anything I won't allow myself to admit is that I need it. I cannot and will not lie to myself.
Don't quite get the understanding of why you need to attack/insult someone who is clearly trying to be helpful, grownups having a normal discourse don't usually feel the need to get ugly for no reason.
If this is potentially what happens when you put your heart into another person, I'm not sure I even want to go there with this love thing.
Our very good friends went to Paris. The first day they had terrible jet lag and had to wait until their hotel room was ready to check in. The second day, they went to the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre, so that was nice. But went it came time for dinner, they felt the waiter was not very nice and, to make things worse, he got sick that night, making him miss an entire day in the hotel. And it rained several days while it was there.
So there's no freaking way I'm ever going to Paris.
I think I understand you (and some of the others here) pretty well
I feel you do not 'accept' people like yellow jacket who are different in these areas. I think you do not understand it because you're married and/or had success in these areas, as silly as that sounds
I understand what I want and don't want but getting other people to understand that my choices are as valid as theirs is a major problem.
I'm just curious - does your GF know you don't need or want her love?
I'm not sure if we are talking apples to apples, or apples to oranges here.
Do I need love from someone of the opposite sex in order to be happy? No. Do I want it? Yes.
My friends and family love me.... without that, I don't think my existence would be very happy at all.
Yes and she entirely agrees with me. We are happy with each other but we don't need each other. I want HER love as I am her BF, however finding love in itself was something I didn't need or want to do because it wasn't a prerequisite for my life. However, our relationship is definitely a positive in my life at least (possibly my GF's as well otherwise we wouldn't be together). If it falls through then it will not put a damper on a fantastic way of life without her.
That's where I think the OP has really rubbed people the wrong way. Maybe he isn't interested in "finding love". There is a difference but I wasn't interested in finding love or love itself and I still hold that view. I don't need to have my GF's love but it's great to have. I never said I didn't want her love per se but I didn't want love in general. Our relationship just happened. We aren't talking about the love for example from family. We are talking love on a romantic level. Some people don't need it or want it. Neither did I but if you end up being constantly around someone who has a lot of common ground with you. There is a chance it may happen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
Don't quite get the understanding of why you need to attack/insult someone who is clearly trying to be helpful, grownups having a normal discourse don't usually feel the need to get ugly for no reason.
She was clearly being judgmental and almost telling him that he is in denial like she knows him better than himself. That's how I viewed her argument. See how judgmental you viewed my "attack" to be? It wasn't even that bad but then again I'm flippant with my words sometimes so perhaps I'm undermining my "insult". I was just reflecting it back. It's not cool so she shouldn't do it.
Last edited by Yellow Jacket; 07-22-2012 at 02:59 PM..
I know I don't make judgements from these situations because they do not effect me like it does the victim.
In my case, I know several men, including myself, who've been backstabbed by women. In my case more than once, but my experiences were no where near as bad my roommates one experience.
But we've all went out and at least tried. I didn't succeed, but my friends have had success.
For me, I guess it just isn't my time, and it may never be my time again. I'm OK with being alone and I'm ready to embrace being a hermit. Even my parents know it's coming lol, so I know I'm not hiding anything from anyone, and I don't speak to them about my love life(or lack there-of).
But at least I've experienced love before, and it's something people should try to strive to feel at least once in there lives.
And if your choice is to not experience it ever, hey that's fine, it's your choice and I respect that to.
She was clearly being judgmental and almost telling him that he is in denial like she knows him better than himself. That's how I viewed her argument. See how judgmental you viewed my "attack" to be? It wasn't even that bad but then again I'm not sensitive at all so perhaps I'm undermining my "insult". I was just reflecting it back. It's not cool so she shouldn't do it.
Well, if I recall, she didn't make any kind of reference to having heads shoved up their asses... I may be wrong though.....
I wasn't judging you or your post, was merely pointing out the hostility level is all......
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to get) due to this matter because the pain of the breakup is affecting him so much.
I think you do not understand it because you're married and/or had success in these areas, as silly as that sounds 
