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I can see from some posts that his response to the sexual stuff is not normal
well how do you bring it up?
its a very sensitive topic, and easy to have hurt feelings
really though you need to ditch this text boyfriend of yours
if you keep playing with fire you will eventually get burned. best way to resist temptation is to avoid it
even if your marriage doesn't work out in the long run, you don't want it to be because you cheat on him. there are better ways to end things if that's the way it winds up going
I'm curios to know what the sexual requests were that caused the husband to get upset about. There are 2 things that come to mind that I would not do;
1; a threesome
2; anal
its a very sensitive topic, and easy to have hurt feelings
really though you need to ditch this text boyfriend of yours
if you keep playing with fire you will eventually get burned. best way to resist temptation is to avoid it
even if your marriage doesn't work out in the long run, you don't want it to be because you cheat on him. there are better ways to end things if that's the way it winds up going
Well he brings it up. He used to apologize after every time we had sex because he came so quickly. I would say it didn't matter because he made me feel good before hand and I still enjoyed it however part of what I enjoyed was anticipating the intercourse and after so many apologies i began to dread it and wasn't really able to get as excited during foreplay. So the next time he said he was sorry I said (sweet but direct) aren't there things you can do to help that? He shut down. Told me I wanted him to be like someone else. It wasn't what he was used to hearing I guess. I had to back peddle the next few times so I just asked him to quit apologizing so I could enjoy myself.
Well he brings it up. He used to apologize after every time we had sex because he came so quickly. I would say it didn't matter because he made me feel good before hand and I still enjoyed it however part of what I enjoyed was anticipating the intercourse and after so many apologies i began to dread it and wasn't really able to get as excited during foreplay. So the next time he said he was sorry I said (sweet but direct) aren't there things you can do to help that? He shut down. Told me I wanted him to be like someone else. It wasn't what he was used to hearing I guess. I had to back peddle the next few times so I just asked him to quit apologizing so I could enjoy myself.
Oh lord. That's a fairly easy thing to fix if a guy concentrates on it, from what I understand. There's plenty of information about that out there (see Dan Savage). But if he's so touchy he can't even talk about it...
I would agree with a little bit of what everyone before me had to say. Having been married at 18 myself and two kids not far into it, I am pretty sure we went through our own growing pains. We didn't last. We ended up divorced when the kids were still young. The fact is, when you marry so young, you're not even close to being done developing mentally. I'm 42 now and to this day, I'm still learning about myself and while now at this ripe ol' age, I'm very secure in myself and know what I want, it doesn't change the fact that I still learn every day.
You got married, you guys had three kids. You stuck with your husband through what sounds like some troubled times. Would he do that for you?
An 18 year old boy isn't going to give you anything but trouble. You have three children now who look up to you and need their mother and father. If you think you have some guilt now just thinking about this boy, you can't even begin to imagine the guilt that comes along with adultery.
Do yourself a favor and your kids, talk to your husband about your issues and you should both go to counseling. It sounds like you've already worked through so much, why stop now?
Ok so heres the thing. I didn't say this at first but the reason I am posting now is because I am actually away from home (in the same state as Mr. 18) visitig someone. Like many of you have noted a relationship with this kid would be no good. A one night stand would just compound my guilt and make thing more complicated. I am going to see him tomorrow... So... I am thinking I should tell him how I feel. He has been a real good friend to me and and I have been his only friend at times. I think he is doing better now and he would totally understand me taking space. He loves my family and would want us to work it out. Plus he would be really hurts if I just quit talking to him. Thoughts?
Ok so heres the thing. I didn't say this at first but the reason I am posting now is because I am actually away from home (in the same state as Mr. 18) visitig someone. Like many of you have noted a relationship with this kid would be no good. A one night stand would just compound my guilt and make thing more complicated. I am going to see him tomorrow... So... I am thinking I should tell him how I feel. He has been a real good friend to me and and I have been his only friend at times. I think he is doing better now and he would totally understand me taking space. He loves my family and would want us to work it out. Plus he would be really hurts if I just quit talking to him. Thoughts?
It is common for us to see eachother. I saw him just the other day. I just need to know if I should keep my mouth shut or tell him why we won't be talking anymore. There will be other people around so it's not like we are just going to hook up. You guys say just "get him out of my life" how do you just do that to someone you know well? It's not his fault I am an idiot and daydream about him. (I admitt I think about it more rationally in the daytime, which is when I will be seeing him)
It is common for us to see eachother. I saw him just the other day. I just need to know if I should keep my mouth shut or tell him why we won't be talking anymore. There will be other people around so it's not like we are just going to hook up. You guys say just "get him out of my life" how do you just do that to someone you know well? It's not his fault I am an idiot and daydream about him. (I admitt I think about it more rationally in the daytime, which is when I will be seeing him)
Best of luck to you and your family......
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