Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Seriously. They still happen, even in the U.S. Certain ethnic groups that are not that assimilated still cook these up. In other cultures, people are "pushed" or "strongly encouraged" to marry a certain person.
Isn't this messed up? How could this work? What kind of relationship could there be if there is no chemistry?
I'm certainly not against marrying within the same culture, but you need to do your OWN cherry-picking.
Seriously. They still happen, even in the U.S. Certain ethnic groups that are not that assimilated still cook these up. In other cultures, people are "pushed" or "strongly encouraged" to marry a certain person.
Isn't this messed up? How could this work? What kind of relationship could there be if there is no chemistry?
I'm certainly not against marrying within the same culture, but you need to do your OWN cherry-picking.
Any stories?
It's not "messed up"
Not being a member of a culture who participates in this does make it seem strange to some people, but that doesn't make it wrong.
Arranged marriages have been around since the beginning of time.
Being able to "do your own picking" is a relatively new way of doing things actually.
You might want to reconsider criticizing something just because you don't understand it or wouldn't do it
Not being a member of a culture who participates in this does make it seem strange to some people, but that doesn't make it wrong.
Arranged marriages have been around since the beginning of time.
Being able to "do your own picking" is a relatively new way of doing things actually.
You might want to reconsider criticizing something just because you don't understand it or wouldn't do it
The ones I know of that have occurred in THIS day and age have failed or been dysfunctional. The people I know who have partaken came from Indian (South Asian) backgrounds. The fact that there is no ability to choose, when the standard in someone's context is that you CAN choose, is impetus for failure. These people resent that they couldn't do it the way Americans do.
I should have clarified and added in a FIRST WORLD country, so let me add that.
I have no problems with them unless the one or both of the two parties don't want it. Often times the two people settle into an appreciative or familial type of love for each other and statistics show that the marriages last longer than non-arranged marriages (not that I'd ever get into an arranged marriage if given the choice). Basically as long as two people are okay with it, then I don't object to it.
I worked with an Indian girl who was in an arranged marriage.
The thinking is, her parents loved her and wanted the best for her, and she trusted their judgement. They didn't force her, but she'd said to them "if I haven't met anyone by the time I'm 25, I will let you choose him for me".
I think she'd only met the guy once or twice before the marriage. The "getting to know you" part is part of the excitement of being a newlywed.
Unusual, completely different to us Western types, but she was very very happy.
The sex is normal, for fun and pleasure...in fact I recall her telling me the wedding night was part of the "festivities" for the guests who hung around outside the bedroom waiting for the consummation.
I worked with an Indian girl who was in an arranged marriage.
The thinking is, her parents loved her and wanted the best for her, and she trusted their judgement. They didn't force her, but she'd said to them "if I haven't met anyone by the time I'm 25, I will let you choose him for me".
I think she'd only met the guy once or twice before the marriage. The "getting to know you" part is part of the excitement of being a newlywed.
Unusual, completely different to us Western types, but she was very very happy.
The sex is normal, for fun and pleasure...in fact I recall her telling me the wedding night was part of the "festivities" for the guests who hung around outside the bedroom waiting for the consummation.
Are you serious? That is gross and quite humiliating
Guess I will be the devil's advocate here. I am actually from India, and completing my graduate degree in the US. The concept of Indian families 'forcing' arranged marriages on youngsters who don't like it is somewhat outdated, at least in urban parts of India. What really occurs is families/parents look out for people who could be 'good matches' in terms of attitude and outlook to life, jobs, etc. for their children. Then the prospective grooms and brides are introduced and meet at least a few times to discuss if they think they are suited for each other. If so, the families then take over and conduct the whole wedding process. This works to the advantage of everyone.
Let me tell you my own case. I am rather shy/introverted, and being an Indian, find it hard to meet anyone 'romantically' in the way Americans do it, in the US. At around the time I felt like getting married, I let my parents know that, and they identified a couple of girls whom I might like. Well, I didn't like one of them and did like the other. But then she didn't like me, so I am still unmarried. No one forced me or a girl to marry if we both weren't in favor of it.
Are you serious? That is gross and quite humiliating
Yeah, I'd be nervous enough without having an audience outside anxiously waiting to see blood stains on a sheet, but whatever works for them.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
At around the time I felt like getting married, I let my parents know that, and they identified a couple of girls whom I might like. Well, I didn't like one of them and did like the other. But then she didn't like me, so I am still unmarried. 
