Is every man's goal in life to get laid as much as possible. (dating, boyfriend)
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Taking this quote from Ascension2012 from another thread that got closed down, but I really wanted to respond. Since that discussion got derailed, I thought I'd start a new thread to discuss this exact topic:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012
Every mans goal in life is to get laid as much as possible. Some, that cant get laid, simply like to pretend this isnt the case. I am honest to a fault, and thats why i rub some people the wrong way. Women test, its the reality. Do your own research and then have an educated opinion about it, it makes for a much better exchange and debate.
To speak in absolute's like that is just plain false, and I'd suggest that you are the one that needs to do the research. At minimum, you are (respectfully) being very closed-minded, and looking at the world through your eyes only, incapable of understanding that there is another way to think about it. I can't speak for all men (and anyone who thinks they can is either sadly misguided, or insanely egotistical), but here are my thoughts on it.
Do I like to "get laid"? Yes, of course. Am I having any problem with doing so? Nope. For me, there is more to it that that though. I've been very open with people I date. I'm fresh out of a long (and mostly good) marriage where there was no infidelity. The marriage predates my pre-teen child by several years, not a fly-by-night thing! Since getting out of that, I've enjoyed my freedom. I've been 100% honest with women that I'm not ready to settle down. Just like you, I guess I'm honest, and it rubs some folks the wrong way, but I don't see that as a fault. As I responded to your comment earlier, I see it as weeding out the people that I'm not compatible with anyway.
So, I'm not looking for Mrs. Myghost. In fact I'm very clear that a relationship is what I DO NOT want right now, but my primary goal is not to get laid. My primary goal is to meet great people. Mostly women right now, but more important that "busting a nut" is to meet people I can connect with, have deep discussions with, and grow as a person. Among those many people, some will grow into intimate relationships with a true connection. A few might grow into good enough friendships that we can be adult enough to handle the thought of just having some gratuitous sex together, and sharing a beautiful night (and yes, that is NOT for everyone, no lectures on that please, there are a million threads bashing that concept!), but the majority of the ladies I meet are just good friends. They are there for me, and I am there for them. I can talk through things, get their opinion, and give mine. We can prop each other up when needed, and go out and be stupid when we can afford to. In the vast majority of these, there is no sex because it is not right for "our relationship", but I'm fine with that, and I am capable of valuing them as a person, and not just some hole to deposit my sperm in.
My PRIMARY goal is to meet great people. I love sex, and am getting as much of it as I want. I'm going through a major transition in my life right now, and I'm pretty sure that at some point, I'll likely fall in love again, and will slow it down. Or maybe not. Maybe I'll end up in an open (and honest) relationship. I really can't tell the future, but I can tell you that you are 100% wrong, and misguided when you say that every man's goal in life is to get laid.
(In addition to my goals as they relate to relationships, I also have goals of personal growth, being a great father, succeeding at my career, one day making a difference in the world, and hopefully kicking Adam Richmond's A$$ at a food challenge. Does that too mean that I can't get laid?)
Taking this quote from Ascension2012 from another thread that got closed down, but I really wanted to respond. Since that discussion got derailed, I thought I'd start a new thread to discuss this exact topic:
To speak in absolute's like that is just plain false, and I'd suggest that you are the one that needs to do the research. At minimum, you are (respectfully) being very closed-minded, and looking at the world through your eyes only, incapable of understanding that there is another way to think about it. I can't speak for all men (and anyone who thinks they can is either sadly misguided, or insanely egotistical), but here are my thoughts on it.
Do I like to "get laid"? Yes, of course. Am I having any problem with doing so? Nope. For me, there is more to it that that though. I've been very open with people I date. I'm fresh out of a long (and mostly good) marriage where there was no infidelity. The marriage predates my pre-teen child by several years, not a fly-by-night thing! Since getting out of that, I've enjoyed my freedom. I've been 100% honest with women that I'm not ready to settle down. Just like you, I guess I'm honest, and it rubs some folks the wrong way, but I don't see that as a fault. As I responded to your comment earlier, I see it as weeding out the people that I'm not compatible with anyway.
So, I'm not looking for Mrs. Myghost. In fact I'm very clear that is what I DO NOT want right now, but my primary goal is not to get laid. My primary goal is to meet great people. Mostly women right now, but more important that "busting a nut" is to meet people I can connect with, have deep discussions with, and grow as a person. Among those many people, some will grow into intimate relationships with a true connection. A few might grow into good enough friendships that we can be adult enough to handle the thought of just having some gratuitous sex together, and sharing a beautiful night (and yes, that is NOT for everyone, no lectures on that please, there are a million threads bashing that concept!), but the majority of the ladies I meet are just good friends. They are there for me, and I am there for them. I can talk through things, get their opinion, and give mine. We can prop each other up when needed, and go out and be stupid when we can afford to.
My PRIMARY goal is to meet great people. I love sex, and am getting as much of it as I want. I'm going through a major transition in my life right now, and I'm pretty sure that at some point, I'll likely fall in love again, and will slow it down. Or maybe not. Maybe I'll end up in an open (and honest) relationship. I really can't tell the future, but I can tell you that you are 100% wrong, and misguided when you say that every man's goal in life is to get laid.
(In addition to my goals as they relate to relationships, I also have goals of personal growth, being a great father, succeeding at my career, one day making a difference in the world, and hopefully kicking Adam Richmond's A$$ at a food challenge. Does that too mean that I can't get laid?)
Other than the kid part, you sound like my boyfriend. (He has no kids and doesn't want any.) Lots of people here with differing views and goals; just like real life. It is definitely is a mistake to assume that all men, or all women, or all any group, have the same views on any particular topic. Thank goodness. It would be a pretty unappealing place if we all felt exactly the same way.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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I'll settle for getting laid at all at this point. However, I can't be pounding 24/7 so I'd want someone who can carry on an interesting conversation, too.
In general I do not think he was wrong in his statement. I suspect that by and large, every man has a goal of getting laid as much as possible. That to me doesn't mean getting laid is a man's only goal, or only driving force in their life. Nor does it mean they expect to get laid all the time.
Men can certainly pursue other goals or objectives. Hobbies, work, career, education, or whatever. So they are not always active in the pursuit of sex every second they are awake. Nor should they.
Still, I think it would be false to say that having sex is not a big motivation or goal, for most people.
It's apparent, by reading this forum, that there are plenty of men out there just looking for a relationship (gf). So obviously, sex isn't every mans only goal.
This isn't true at all, men want what women want we just have more issues getting it.
This is childish thinking, usually by little boys with a chip on their shoulder.
I have to respectfully disagree to some extent. It may not be all encompassing or all consuming, but our basic instincts and biology push us towards it. I do agree that men also value deeper relationships and such (I do). Reason, intelligence, self control, etc, don't negate basic instincts. They just allow us to control them.
I have to respectfully disagree to some extent. It may not be all encompassing or all consuming, but our basic instincts and biology push us towards it. I do agree that men also value deeper relationships and such (I do). Reason, intelligence, self control, etc, don't negate basic instincts. They just allow us to control them.
Which is the reason women are able to non what they do and you can't do anything about it because some other guy will gladly pay her bills for a chance at getting laid. Men are soft and women realize that.
I did go through a phase like that when I was much younger, but it coincided with the breaking of AIDS.
Nobody knew much about it, and all the rumours were that you could get it from kissing, or toilet seats !
It scared the bejabers out of me, and consequently I wasn't a man-ho, despite having the chance to be !
By the time we realised AIDS wasn't as bad as the rumours, I was kinda over that phase and wanted different things from life than just sex.
I sometimes look back and ponder about it, in some ways I rue all those missed opportunities, and in some ways I don't.
My theory is that not just chasing tail meant I actually had more respect for the women, and may go some way to explaining why I've always managed to punch well above my weight in dating/ relationships.
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