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Haha I have found the reason why there are so many unhappily married people. ALOT OF THEM NEVER WANTED TO GET MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I should be a marriage counselor. *sarcasm*
Anyway, this is why you see people marrying so young. For example, if you have been with someone since high school and you are now 25, people constantly question, "why haven't you gotten married? You two have been a couple for 7 years and you are not getting any younger." So now, at age 25, even though you are young, you feel pressure to marry because these are comments you hear all the time. Anybody who has been in a relationship for more than a year gets asked these questions, young or not. If you have been in a relationship for a long time, people criticize you for not marrying the person. You cant just be in a relationship with someone for 10 years and live with them and not marry. Society might not be able to stand you. The horror!
If you do not marry by 30, people view you as a loser. My 30th birthday is in a couple months. I have people constantly telling me I need to settle down, I am getting to old to be single, I need to have children, what's wrong with me, etc.
When you go out on dates, people think to themselves "if he is such a catch then why hasn't he gotten married by now?".
If you choose not to marry and your friends do, then you are in a bad situation. Once your friends marry, they will quit talking to you and they definitely wont have time to spend with you so then you end up lonely. After college age years, it is hard to make new friends because people do not open themselves up easily and the older you get the harder it is to find someone single who has time to put into a friendship.
Now, let's say if you are a woman who says she never wants to marry. That's ok for you to say that. People will assume it is because you have been hurt by a lot of men and you are no longer able to trust. Now, if a man says he does not wanna get married, he will be harshly critcized. People will assume he wants to be a womanizer his wholelife, he is immature, and afraid of commitment.
I find it comical that some people run aroud saying " marriage is not for everyone" but as soon as an individual states they do not want to marry, they won't let the person be. They have to try to convince the person that marriage is not as bad as they think.
I had some pressure from my parents. Mom specifically, but I think my dad knew that marriage wasn't anywhere in sight for me so he stopped pestering me and she did as well.
I have a lot of friends who married almost directly out of high school. I didn't feel any pressure at all from that.
When you marry it needs to be with the right person and at the right time, because it should be the only time you take that trip, but today it seems like people love marrying 3 times or more lol.
Agreed. Way too much pressure for people to marry. My girlfriend and I like to joke around and say, "Whenever we go one year without someone asking us why we haven't gotten married, we'll get hitched... which means we never will!" (Been together about 4 years. We haven't gotten married yet because we want an extra nice wedding, and that means saving an extra nice amount of money, which is, ermm, taking a while)
Why do you care so much what other people think about your choices about your life? If you bow to "pressure" from Joe Schmo on the street or Aunt Shirley, that's your issue. Live your life for you.
If you do not marry by 30, people view you as a loser.
This is so untrue. 20 years ago, sure. Not today. Stop using other people as your excuse to whine. If you feel like a loser, it has nothing to do with whether you are married or not.
Last edited by ChessieMom; 08-30-2012 at 09:13 PM..
OP, learn to blow people off. Silently, in your mind. What anyone else thinks doesn't matter. What matters is what's right for YOU. To thine own self be true. If all the other lemmings want to run off the cliff, that's their problem.
Haha I have found the reason why there are so many unhappily married people. ALOT OF THEM NEVER WANTED TO GET MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I should be a marriage counselor. *sarcasm*
Anyway, this is why you see people marrying so young. For example, if you have been with someone since high school and you are now 25, people constantly question, "why haven't you gotten married? You two have been a couple for 7 years and you are not getting any younger." So now, at age 25, even though you are young, you feel pressure to marry because these are comments you hear all the time. Anybody who has been in a relationship for more than a year gets asked these questions, young or not. If you have been in a relationship for a long time, people criticize you for not marrying the person. You cant just be in a relationship with someone for 10 years and live with them and not marry. Society might not be able to stand you. The horror!
If you do not marry by 30, people view you as a loser. My 30th birthday is in a couple months. I have people constantly telling me I need to settle down, I am getting to old to be single, I need to have children, what's wrong with me, etc.
When you go out on dates, people think to themselves "if he is such a catch then why hasn't he gotten married by now?".
If you choose not to marry and your friends do, then you are in a bad situation. Once your friends marry, they will quit talking to you and they definitely wont have time to spend with you so then you end up lonely. After college age years, it is hard to make new friends because people do not open themselves up easily and the older you get the harder it is to find someone single who has time to put into a friendship.
Now, let's say if you are a woman who says she never wants to marry. That's ok for you to say that. People will assume it is because you have been hurt by a lot of men and you are no longer able to trust. Now, if a man says he does not wanna get married, he will be harshly critcized. People will assume he wants to be a womanizer his wholelife, he is immature, and afraid of commitment.
I find it comical that some people run aroud saying " marriage is not for everyone" but as soon as an individual states they do not want to marry, they won't let the person be. They have to try to convince the person that marriage is not as bad as they think.
Completely disagree. With all of it, what nonsense.
This might be your experience, but it certainly isn't everyone's.
As for myself, I don't want either of my sons to marry until they are at LEAST 30, at the earliest.
"Pay no mind" is great advice, but I do think it's rude for people to do this sort of thing. People will get married when they're good and ready, and no one knows better than the couple about when/if they should wed.
Next time someone asks me "When are you gonna get married?", I'ma reply "Idk, when are you gonna do something about that hair?"
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