An affair is just not worth it. (sociopathic, marriages, guy)
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Sorry about what your ex did behind your back BTW.
IMHO:
This is what happens when people don't treat others like they would want to be treated.
In marriage there's really no excuse unless there's no intimacy.
I have to call BS on that issue completely. Lack of intimacy is simply a side effect to a much more deep rooted issue and anyone that thinks it isn't is blinding themselves or have been fed a lot of bull crap in their life.
So, that means there is absolutely no truth to any claim that their spouses/partners have stopped having sex with them, stopped being intimate, stopped honoring the vows they also made. They're all lying, it's all fiction. OK.
There is truth to it, and both men and women do it.
Affairs seem remarkably easy to have without getting caught. Some people are routine liars, and they're married to people who either have complete faith in them, or are too wrapped up in their own problems to notice anything. If someone's self-employed, they can have an affair during work time, so there are no absences to account for at home. One can have an affair during gym time or other exercise time, or guys'/girls'-night-out time. There's always the famous "I had to work late" line. Some people may be wired to cheat, but I think the whole mismatched sex drive issue can turn decent sorts into cheaters. You'd think that cheaters would be bothered by guilt. Maybe some are, but others are either callous, or feel justified in some way.
I too agree with you, Chow. It is not worth the risk if I had the desire to cheat. Guess I'm just happy and comfortable with what I have at home. My wife is not a perfect person, but she is perfect for me. I look around at our many friends and kind of shudder when I think what it would be like to trade places with any of the men...
A step further. Sometimes someone doesn't realize that the reason they are not happy in their relationship is because they are not happy with self. Something missing an it can be unfortunately much easier to place the blame on what's around you instead of searching from within.
I have to call BS on that issue completely. Lack of intimacy is simply a side effect to a much more deep rooted issue and anyone that thinks it isn't is blinding themselves or have been fed a lot of bull crap in their life.
Agreed that the lack of intimacy is not the root of the problem.
But why "BS on that issue"? Of course there's many possible causes on why intimacy would be lacking in the first place.
I thought when we make a commitment to others... it wasn't so much "relative"... I thought it was through thick and thin and the rest of the commitments...
I guess if it is convenient I'll uphold certain values otherwise... I won't....
It's all relative... right???
I think you're missing the big picture here. Good people cheat. Good people steal, they even commit murder. It doesn't mean they are any less moral or have stopped valuing the sanctity of life and relationships. It is not about upholding certain values when it is "convenient". It is about reality. Sometimes, people are put in situations they did not ask for or consent to. They make their commitments and honor them, while their partners don't. And it is not always as easy as walking away when you have children and/or other shared and long term commitments. What "should" be isn't always what is. And what "should" happen isn't always best for everyone involved. Like it or not, that is a reality for a lot of people.
I think you're missing the big picture here. Good people cheat. Good people steal, they even commit murder. It doesn't mean they are any less moral or have stopped valuing the sanctity of life and relationships. It is not about upholding certain values when it is "convenient". It is about reality. Sometimes, people are put in situations they did not ask for or consent to. They make their commitments and honor them, while their partners don't. And it is not always as easy as walking away when you have children and/or other shared and long term commitments. What "should" be isn't always what is. And what "should" happen isn't always best for everyone involved. Like it or not, that is a reality for a lot of people.
I understand.
In a perfect world, people act "perfect"
We are not in a perfect world.
I have a hard time with people not doing "the right thing."
I have a lot of personal stuff about it, my upbringing, things I don't want to get into. I can be hard on people at times, and I'm usually the hardest on myself.
I have a hard time with people not doing "the right thing."
I have a lot of personal stuff about it, my upbringing, things I don't want to get into. I can be hard on people at times, and I'm usually the hardest on myself.
I need to not do that so much.
I understand and agree with you.
IMHO: Conservatives should agree with you, however some moderates and most liberals won't.
To each their own as we can only control ourselves.
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