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I don't wear cologne and I use anti-perspirant as part of my daily toilet. So there's an enormous distinction between taking precautions against the odor the human body normally puts out and volunteering to swath oneself in acrid smoke.
That point is totally irrelevant. It's NOT what you think you do to take precautions against body odor. It's what everyone else thinks...right? I mean, when I'm around other smokers, we don't sniff each other and tell each other we reek. To us, we may really like that smell...no matter how much you disagree with it.
Your original point of "smokers don't realize they stink" is purely subjective. It is a fact for you. For me, as an example, when I'm at a concert or in a bar, I like the smell of smoke...A LOT. Do I have to realize that someone (lots of people actually) thinks I smell bad? Well, that's YOUR opinion. I might just think YOU smell bad for a variety of reasons...do you realize that?
Like you're on some team...I judge everyone based on my personal experiences with them. I make these judgements for a variety of reasons, including keeping me safe. I don't go around saying ALL people this or ALL people that. I believe God will judge you but that's another argument. That is not my business...plus, I don't think it's right, but I can reserve the right to have distance from you based on my experience with you. You've done the same with the smoking issue. No problems there.
Yes, I do complain sometimes that as a general rule, non-smokers are self righteous against the smoker. Nearly everyone in my family is this way. What is laughable to me is that they throw insults and crass statements my way without thinking that they, too, might not be so perfect to be held up to the same standards of their judgement.
And honestly, I do respect the health argument...but I'm a complicated woman and I don't owe anyone reasons for doing anything that I choose to do....as I would not expect an explanation for your actions. However, I think some of the comments are negative...yes, it's typical but that doesn't mean I judge you for your own opinion...it just means that if I disagree with you, you don't get to throw the "you're defensive, you're addicted" argument at me.
Where in this thread have I said that I "distance" myself from smokers? Yes I said that they cannot smoke in my home or car. That's because stale cigarette smoke stinks to me. I don't care if you think differently. My space, my rules.
I don't recall saying that I wouldn't be friends with smokers or refrain from dating them. Are you judging me?
I'm a nonsmoker (never so much as a puff) who is fairly tolerant of other smokers socially (grew up with parents who smoked). I don't even really find the smell of cigarette smoke to be that offensive (while someone is smoking, anyway...stale smoke in the air, on clothes, in hair is so much grosser, to me). I'm definitely not the "Get that away from me!" type. I prefer to date nonsmokers, but it's not an absolute dealbreaker...it might tip the scales away from favoring a guy who doesn't otherwise have that much going for him, but if a guy is awesome, and the smoking is the one "eh" factor, I'm not gonna base my decision on that one nonpreferred thing.
My ex was an on-again, off-again smoker who pretended to be a nonsmoker all the years we dated (and billed himself as having quit when we were in the early dating phase). I was always able to tell when he was smoking again, but never forced the issue...eventually he'd come clean about it, and I'd say yeah, I knew already. He'd say he was quitting, and he would for a bit, and then the cycle would reset. To be honest, the disrespect/lack of honesty was far more the issue than the smoking. I would have preferred he didn't smoke, but moreover, I would have preferred honesty and respect. He typically didn't smoke around me when he was smoking, anyway, and never smoked in the house or car or anything like that. In the past six months, or so, he'd switched to e-cigarettes, which IMO were just a crutch, but I did see it as him trying to compromise.
Last edited by TabulaRasa; 09-18-2012 at 12:49 PM..
I get your point. You don't like when people judge all smokers. You think that non-smokers shouldn't be so self-righteous since they have flaws of their own.
I was just pointing out your incorrect ASSumption that I judge smokers and therefore "distance" myself from them. Keep working on it though. You just might make me change my mind.
For some folks it will take longer then others, but sooner or later, everyone figures out that smoking is bad for your health. I quit smoking the beginning of 2006.
My beloved wife smoked. She was diagnosed with lung cancer. She had chemo, radiation, & three operations. Then the cancer spread to her brain. My beautiful beloved wife couldn't beat it. She tried very hard.
One of my younger brothers is a reformed smoker- He was really not a big smoker- but he hates smokers with a passion..I stayed at his house and had to got to the end of the driveway to smoke...He would still not be satisfied...The jerk would come to the end of the drive to brow beat me about smoking...even if it was NOT effecting him- anti-smokers have become like crazed fanatics.
Well this hate for smokers caught up to him recently..He tormented his wife relentlessly about her smoking...brow beat her at with every puff...Then things changed...Her father passed away and low and behold he left her the whole estate..So the brow beaten smoker got up one day- took well over a million dollars and left to live in another city- where she smoke till her hearts content.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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I have a heavy smoker as one of my usual clients. When she comes into the office, the smell of nicotine and tar runs through the office and my airspace like a train. There is no way I'd want someone smelling of that odor so strongly as a SO. If I'm a hater for that sue me and I say this as a guy who isn't opposed to smoking once in a rare while.
I get your point. You don't like when people judge all smokers. You think that non-smokers shouldn't be so self-righteous since they have flaws of their own.
I was just pointing out your incorrect ASSumption that I judge smokers and therefore "distance" myself from them. Keep working on it though. You just might make me change my mind.
Nice...making sure to notice your ASSumption...awesome.
Well, I'm glad you get most of my point. Honestly, I apologize to have grouped your comment in with others' comments. I don't mean to do that but I get to writing and tend to lump many comments into one response.
Eh, I think the overall self righteous comments of SOME of these posters irritate me and I think they're ridiculous. To each their own opinion...
No one even a smoker likes that second hand acrid smell..I remember that sent as a young man before I started to smoke. I found it offensive also. There is also a difference in the formulation of tobacco and the addiction factor has been advanced through years of research by tobacco companies...It is all about the delivery system..People who smoke now smoke more..and for the most part do not even remember lighting up the next one...It used to be tobacco was more natural and had a semi-pleasant smell...now all you smell is refinement of the product...Much like modern pot...It smells almost like a chemical..I can describe it as evil....Just like the dope smoked by young people - It has been refined and altered to produce the most addictive effect possible...I call today's pot greed weed..because it was created strictly for profit.
Modern tobacco product is also the end results of utter greed. There was a time I remember about 45 years ago...I saw old timers smoking...They would smoke those plain end raw tobacco cigarettes. I recall it being common for a smoker to say..."I have had enough of this filthy habit" and toss their smokes in the trash...then walk away and not smoke...quitting was common and it was easier...The product has changed...also smoking at one time was a social thing...
My dad told me that as a young man hanging out in Red Square..He would say to his friends- lets go smoke..as if it was a special event...and they would smoke socially- not all day long...It all goes back to the modern delivery system of nicotine and heaven knows what other crap they put in that is not on the list of controlled substances.
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