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Yeah - why exactly does she need to have a baby so soon?
She might have medical issues. I know of a woman whose doctor recommended she have a baby before some of her lady parts (internally) were removed due to cancer. Also she might have fibroids or other issues. It also gets harder after 35.
She might have medical issues. I know of a woman whose doctor recommended she have a baby before some of her lady parts (internally) were removed due to cancer. Also she might have fibroids or other issues. It also gets harder after 35.
Well, if I were him - I'd check into it to make sure it's true. I'm not saying it doesn't happen - but I'd make sure that this is actually the case. I know so many people who have had babies in their late 30's and early 40's. I plan on having one in my late 30's and had no problem having my first at 35. Like I said - I know that there are women with legitimate problems - but with the way their relationship is going - I'd make sure that she was one of them.
You had better run now as fast as you can BEFORE she gets pregnant and you get married because this situation is not going to get any better. You are not on the same page relationship wise and it seems neither completely understands what the other wants and there is no room for compromise. Best to get out now before it really costs you. Good luck and I hope your surgery goes well and you heal quickly.
It could be her age, or keeping up with her girlfriends, or family pressure, or just her own will.
Irrelevant.
You BOTH need to want the same thing. You both need to agree to it before marriage ( well, she might agree and change her mind, and then you are stuck ).
I don't see any future in this relationship.
After you get married she might WANT other things you would not want, like a big house, living above your means, or moving out to a place you don't like, or she would say: "get second job - we have kids!", or whatever. The point is that you are LUCKY that she is inpatient and showing her true character before the marriage.
You need to find someone who is compatible to you.
She changed her tune in that she probably strung him along and dropped "the bombs" after the engagement feeling that she had him IMHO.
As the OP said that she changed after the engagement.
Good thing for the OP that she showed her true "colors" before said marriage = selfishness only to get worse IMO.
Well, in all fairness, we always only get one side of the story on here. But it doesn't really matter who is at fault - if you aren't happy with someone - you shouldn't marry them.
Dear Dazed, This stuff should have been discussed when you were really getting serious as a couple. But I guess she surprised you by proposing? Still, if she's not willing to be real about the economics of having kids, and it sounds like any pregnancy might be difficult and complicated for her, and these are some very fundamental matters for a couple that you two don't see eye to eye on, well.... the writing seems to be on the wall. Can you read it?
Things won't get better after you're married. Look at the bright side: at least she showed her true colors BEFORE the marriage! Other guys aren't so lucky. Engagements do get called off, don't be embarrassed or intimidated by that idea. Better now than after you're married, and you have to divorce.
She might have medical issues. I know of a woman whose doctor recommended she have a baby before some of her lady parts (internally) were removed due to cancer. Also she might have fibroids or other issues. It also gets harder after 35.
If she indeed has medical issues and "hide" them from him, that's even worse!!
Thanks, but I am not a sucker. Her OBGYN said as she approaches 37 and older, it becomes harder to become pregnant and the child can have medical issues. I am concerned about money, as I have medical issues from a serious accident. I can only bring in so much money. Money does not go as far in NJ as it does in most of the other states. I do not think she's trying to trick me into impregnating her, as we do not have/had sex w/o a condom. Kinda hard to have a child with a condom on. I also, due to the expense of the wedding and my medical bills, had to push the wedding off until mid-2013, which she was not happy about. I can do what I can do. As for her medical issues, none except bacterial vaginosis. Hence the reason we've been abstaining from sex.
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