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So as you guys all know, I'm not really an attractive guy and I've had some HORRIBLE luck in the dating world. It seems like every woman I meet who I'm attracted to either has a boyfriend, doesn't find me attractive, or I don't have enough money to "take care of" them.
All my life I've had countless females who HAVE been attracted to me, but I didn't feel the same. Said females are usually overweight, ugly, or a combination of the 2 (usually a combination)
People have always told me to just "take what you can get, because it won't get any better" I'm seriously considering doing just that. Should I just settle for the women who do like me? I feel like actually trying to get a woman I find attractive is too far gone and that nothing I do will ever change my attractiveness to women. I don't have money, good looks, a nice car, good credit, or a good paying job (I DO have a job, but it doesn't pay any more than $300 on a good week)
Like those who like you. Once you build up your confidence then you'll likely attract more attractive women. Gotta start somewhere.
You shouldn't have all of these pre-determined expectations experiencing life. Don't think about girls in such finite terms. There've been many girls I've met who I wasn't attracted to at first... and after getting to know them better, I found them more attractive and dated them.
With that being said, I don't think anyone should be forced to settle. I think many people do settle because they have the mindset of "this is where I should be" "this is my league/level". I think that's crazy. There are poor people who grew up in poverty and make millions when they're older. They didn't limit themselves at being poor because that was the best they were going to have it.
If you see a beautiful girl you like, why not go for her. You WILL FAIL the first xxx number of times (I put 3 x's because it will be in the hundreds) but that one time you succeed, it will all be worth it.
So as you guys all know, I'm not really an attractive guy and I've had some HORRIBLE luck in the dating world. It seems like every woman I meet who I'm attracted to either has a boyfriend, doesn't find me attractive, or I don't have enough money to "take care of" them.
All my life I've had countless females who HAVE been attracted to me, but I didn't feel the same. Said females are usually overweight, ugly, or a combination of the 2 (usually a combination)
People have always told me to just "take what you can get, because it won't get any better" I'm seriously considering doing just that. Should I just settle for the women who do like me? I feel like actually trying to get a woman I find attractive is too far gone and that nothing I do will ever change my attractiveness to women. I don't have money, good looks, a nice car, good credit, or a good paying job (I DO have a job, but it doesn't pay any more than $300 on a good week)
Like attracts like. You really don't have much going for you so of course you're going to attract women that are "undesirable".
Don't bother settling because there is no need to bring another person into a miserable situation. Most of those "undesirable" women will split once you show your true self anyhow.
You're just going to have to improve your lot or continue to be alone.
For the OP, it sounds like you have your work cut out for you.
I don't agree on settling, or 'taking what you can get', but you might need to comprimise.
Start doing what it takes to improve your self value.
Go to school, get a better job, make more money, go to the gym, eat healthy, get hobbies and have fun.
It will be a long journey, but if you go about the JOURNEY properly IN YOUR MIND, you will enjoy it.
Life isnt about what you can get, or WHO. It is about enjoying life, and the moments along the way. The tangible things /people/ women / relationships are only there to supplement, not create happiness.
Start by educating yourself. If you have to, get student loans, or apply for financial aid if you need to.
The more physically attractive a woman is, the more selective she can afford to be. If you don't have something competitive to offer, she will likely pursue one of her numerous other options. With that said, there are physically attractive women out there who look beyond a man's appearance and finances (check out Dennis Kucinich's wife, Elizabeth). Don't sell women short: some of them are attracted to intelligence, kindness, or humor---among other less tangible qualities.
There is no compelling reason to "settle" for someone you're not enthusiastic about. It probably wouldn't last long, and both of you would end up being hurt by the relationship. I think the best strategy for anyone, male or female--straight or gay, is to simply pursue your interests and passions in life. In the process of doing that, you'll meet all kinds of people who share those interests. Chances are good that you'll meet someone with whom you'll find mutual compatibility. When that happens, neither of you will worry about the more superficial characteristics of a mate.
It's different with guys than girls. A girl in her late 30s or 40s has to take what she can get. Guys have a longer shelf life.
OP, yes, making $300 a week is lame. I wouldn't be able to live off of that personally. And you also said you're not good looking, which is fine. Luckily for you, neither of these things factor in much when dating.
If you're THAT unsuccessful, it's because of some behavior that you have that turns women off or because you lack confidence or have a negative attitude and are projecting those things.
How many approaches have you made in the last year? In your lifetime? Do you have a social circle? Do you work with women?
These questions are very important. If you're not meeting many women, then that might very well be your issue.
apparently some women disagree regarding the fact that it gets harder for them to attract men, to get a boyfriend/relationship as they get older, they say age does not affect them, wonder why they say that
Increase your income, better your personality, better your looks, or acceot your league as-is. Those are your only options.
Exactly this. As I have posted many times, ANY guy can hit the gym and get buff. That includes you.
Dollars to donuts, your haircut, wardrobe, etc. are not good. As said before, if you know any gay guys, they tend to be very good at helping a guy sort this out, and they typically enjoy the consulting.
Job and income take longer - but if you post your status as "underemployed", you are killing your own confidance right there. Your first move might be to do some reading, take some tests, figure out your aptitudes, try to get yourself into a field you will like and excel at. If you don't like your job, at least part of the job part of the time, it's a bad fit for you, and you need to move on, simple as that.
Improvements in your personality will probably come as a side-effect of sorting the above issues.
I wouldn't worry about dating till you fix the issues. Although, your style issues could be sorted in less than a week. I would give it 6 months to get buff though. Repeat after me: Gym, work, eat, sleep, repeat. Eat does not mean Golden Arches either....
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