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i'm assuming the 89 in your nick is from '1989', which i'm further assuming is the year of your birth. this would mean that you're around 23 yrs old.
I didn't get laid till I was 24 (very, very late bloomer) and didn't really start getting lucky with ladies around the 26 yr mark. you still have a number of years to go. in the meantime, get in shape, focus on your career, etc etc. you have at least another decade or so to go of your physical prime.
and no matter how old you get, it's never ok to settle. as others have pointed out, it's just a recipe for disaster. if you can't get what makes you happy, learn to do without. being single and alone really isn't that bad, once you know how to entertain yourself.
life isn't just about making compromises, it's abt making the *right* compromises.
Would you want to be the one that someone settled for?
I wouldn't and I've definitely been made to feel like that.
However, if I felt like that about someone, I'm really good at hiding it. I wasn't THAT into the last woman I dated, but I treated her great, and paid full attention to her. Never flaked. And when it ended, it was clean as a whistle.
It's not settling if you think of your partner is the best person ever.
I dislike the term settling when it comes to dating. From my view, settling is choosing from amongst your viable options, which include remaining single and being with the person you settled for. If that's what settling means, then I've settled for my job, career, apartment and most other things in life.
We can only choose amongst our viable options when it comes to other aspects of our life, so why is it a crime when it comes to dating?
I dislike the term settling when it comes to dating. From my view, settling is choosing from amongst your viable options, which include remaining single and being with the person you settled for. If that's what settling means, then I've settled for my job, career, apartment and most other things in life.
We can only choose amongst our viable options when it comes to other aspects of our life, so why is it a crime when it comes to dating?
Because jobs, apartments and cars don't have feelings like humans do. When you think of yourself as "settling" for someone, you're going to act that way towards them and they won't be happy.
Would you want to be the one that someone settled for?
And Davie, for heaven's sakes, nothing wrong with you or your looks except a total lack of confidence. Maybe you need to go concentrate on something else for awhile and print out shortnblack's post.
I've been the one who was 'settled' for. It was made painfully obvious towards the end of the relationship and it's not a good feeling. Honestly, I don't know if I'll ever feel that a man isn't just 'settling' for me because of a lack of other options.
So, I don't think people should 'settle' because it doesn't take the other person's feelings into consideration.
Take this poster's advice to heart and wrap your head around it as many times as you need to in order to get to the heart of the matter. If you follow this advice you will be feeding your mental, physical, and spiritual self and you will soon wake up with pride in yourself for your accomplishments.
Kudos to the person who wrote this, well spoken and well done, bravo sou!
Best regards, sincerely
HomeIsWhere...
Thank-you very kindly. I appreciate that you've read what I've said. To me it all starts with feeling good on the inside. I know for some, that literally sounds vague because you never know what complications someone has experienced in depression or in time of need. We all have feelings and a hearts need uplifting sometimes.
I learned to get to the gym and get my butt in shape. I learned not to forget that my brain needs exercise too. For people who can't get in shape due to medical reasons, I encourage to seek the best physician, friend or coach in order to promote a healthier lifestyle.
Im 32 and never been on a date and id still rather be alone the rest of my life then with somebody i cant imagine making out or being initimate and naked with..
Youre still gonna have to put up with bs in a relationship reagrdless,getting a less then attractive women isnt gonna guarantee happiness all the time either..
Settling with someone you have no physical attraction to is not fair to you or the other person..
Why would someone date, let alone marry, someone they're not attracted to?? That's not what people usually mean when they talk about "settling".
When I think about the phrase "settling down," to me it means a person is ready to take their life to the next level or next step higher. It could mean buying a house, moving in together, getting married, raising children, moving to another country and/or starting a life with a person.
There are lots of people "settling down" or settling for a person they have no desire to be with. These are the couples who consistently contribute to the skyrocketing divorce rate. It's a superficial marriage of convenience and the kids always suffer the most.
What I find most prominent are the women who pick a man all because his looks contributes to hers and her mindset is stuck in breeding mode and nothing more. His personality is the least of her interests as long as he looks the part of a good husband. The relationship suffers and takes a serious nosedive when both parties realize it's beyond the point of saving.
The most basic element of companionship and conversation was never a strong focus of the relationship to begin with. It's purely physical and nothing else which never lasts. How can it when the biggest sexual organ, that being the brain, is totally ignored.
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