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apparently some women disagree regarding the fact that it gets harder for them to attract men, to get a boyfriend/relationship as they get older, they say age does not affect them, wonder why they say that
People typically remain on the trajectory they are on. Cinderfella and Cinderella are fairy tales, and I see more Cinderfella hopefuls on this forum than anything else.
People have always told me to just "take what you can get, because it won't get any better" I'm seriously considering doing just that. Should I just settle for the women who do like me?
you should just stay single and be a regular at your local legal brothel.
To the OP, I made the mistake of "taking what I can get" and married her, and we divorced 2 years later. She was not only unattractive and overweight (and became even more so after we married), but she had a negative personality as well. It didn't help that people including my coworkers told me I will never do better because I'm ugly. She even said it herself (which says a lot about her personality). Now I am engaged to a beautiful Japanese girl. That's what I needed to do, relocate to a better dating scene. Before Japan I was living in San Diego where it was unfavorable for men (hence the nickname "Man Diego"), and people tend to be shallow and superficial and a man would be considered ugly if he didn't look like Bratt Pitt, Justin Timberlake, or Vin Diesel.
I don't think anyone should just take what they can get... Even if you have been unsuccessful at dating or in relationships. I do think you need to be reasonable though. You can't hold someone to a super-high standard you may not meet yourself, but you don't have to settle for someone you don't want. I say widen your expectations and hope for the best. Dating is not so easy, but if you keep doing it you will come across someone who falls in the range of your standards and that you like.
To the OP, I made the mistake of "taking what I can get" and married her, and we divorced 2 years later. She was not only unattractive and overweight (and became even more so after we married), but she had a negative personality as well. It didn't help that people including my coworkers told me I will never do better because I'm ugly. She even said it herself (which says a lot about her personality). Now I am engaged to a beautiful Japanese girl. That's what I needed to do, relocate to a better dating scene. Before Japan I was living in San Diego where it was unfavorable for men (hence the nickname "Man Diego"), and people tend to be shallow and superficial and a man would be considered ugly if he didn't look like Bratt Pitt, Justin Timberlake, or Vin Diesel.
So as you guys all know, I'm not really an attractive guy and I've had some HORRIBLE luck in the dating world. It seems like every woman I meet who I'm attracted to either has a boyfriend, doesn't find me attractive, or I don't have enough money to "take care of" them.
All my life I've had countless females who HAVE been attracted to me, but I didn't feel the same. Said females are usually overweight, ugly, or a combination of the 2 (usually a combination)
People have always told me to just "take what you can get, because it won't get any better" I'm seriously considering doing just that. Should I just settle for the women who do like me? I feel like actually trying to get a woman I find attractive is too far gone and that nothing I do will ever change my attractiveness to women. I don't have money, good looks, a nice car, good credit, or a good paying job (I DO have a job, but it doesn't pay any more than $300 on a good week)
I was in your situation 1 year ago. Your life needs a major overhaul. First of all, you need to get some career direction and get into a reasonable-paying job ($300 a week is below poverty line in most states). Some high school kids make more money than you are. What are your career goals? Do you need some school/training to obtain a better salaried job? You're the man, figure that out. In the meantime, find some ways to accent that "average" appearance. Have you worked out? Lifted weights? Maybe you could change your hair style and/or buy some new, attractive clothes? These things sound simple, but trust me, they can go a long way to literally make you look better, feel more confident, and thus become more attractive to the opposite sex.
Last edited by fightforlove; 09-26-2012 at 08:50 PM..
300$ a week is below poverty line for yall? Haha...that is how much I made a month..yes a month, at a white collar job doing logistics, spreadsheets, records and calls. I suppose I should be glad that this country has somewhat decent labour laws. Not decent by European standards, but by second world standards they're pretty good.
300$ a week is below poverty line for yall? Haha...that is how much I made a month..yes a month, at a white collar job doing logistics, spreadsheets, records and calls.
I guess it depends on the area you live in and what your expenses are, but...$300 a week wouldn't go very far in my area.
The beauty lies within the eyes of the beholder. Here's my advice to you.
Get in shape and make physical exercise and good eating habits common in your life if you haven't done so already. Try to work your body, get a good sweat going on and feel good doing it at the same time. You will reap the rewards if you dedicate yourself to taking care of your body.
Exercise your brain and be well spoken and read. You don't need to be a thesaurus or dictionary but speaking well and having some knowledge on different subjects makes for stimulating conversation. Don't be pretentious, but don't be boring at the same time.
Find your inner self and develop a talent. Find something about yourself that you're good at that you would generously share with another person. Without hurting others or infringing upon the rights of another person, look inside yourself and bring to the surface what makes you different and unique than others. Dare to be different if it means getting past the routine, the tedious and the ordinary.
As for women and dating? Be active and keep an open mind and an open heart to women of all shapes and sizes. Don't just go for the good-looking girls who fit your exact bill of preference. Sometimes really hot women who have all kinds of male attention are the worst kind of women. They rely on nothing but their looks alone and looks don't last forever. When they are constantly having their egos fed or showered with praise about their looks, it's no wonder that these women develop a strong, yet nasty sense of entitlement. Guys who don't measure up to her standards are rendered worthless and unattractive. She acts like her sh*t doesn't stink even though it wreaks like everyone elses. I can understand how the women you see as less-attractive are meaner or nastier to you. Some of these women don't get approached as much as the prettier girls you seek so they might be angry being left out. Others are approached only for sex and nothing more which can be just as hurtful. These women don't want to come across as easy and be used just for that purpose alone.
Approach women who exude self-confidence and make positive eye-contact with you. That works for me most of the time. Her eyes will tell me if she wants me to approach her or she'll make the first move. There's nothing wrong with women who put their pride on the line and go against the basic traditions and talk to a guy first. Nothing slutty about it either, unless she's got her own self-made, self-reputation. I've met women who are big time slutty, extremely proud and a whole lot of fun. They make no excuses for themselves or anyone else. Furthermore women like these kind never care what others say because they are liberal and comfortable with their sexuality.
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