Feminism and dating (how to, male, children, friends)
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I am a feminist and I am very proud of my independence. It has never ever stopped me from being attractive to men because I am not a man hater. I believe in true equality, we are equal but different and we can live together harmoniously if we respect and help one another.
There is this misnomer that all feminists are radical which is simply not true. I completely understand if men pick up the vibe that a woman despises men but in my experience few women really hate guys at all.
That's because some feminists aren't true feminists (while they think we should be totally equal to men, at the same time they have some reservation in certain areas). If you say you're something, then stay with that.
I've never called myself a real feminist because I would be lying. I don't think there is such a thing as absolute equality between men and women. For instance, I will definitely not last 12 rounds in a regular male boxing match. If I'm brave, maybe one full punch will still have me standing since I'm not that short nor too skinny but that's about it. Unless it's Chyna and other female wrestlers or a professional martial artist, the average woman will not last longer.
Another area: If some man asked me out, it's not my idea then it's an invitation. If it's me doing that invitation then it's fair I either pay for it or split the bill. Afterwards, we should be taking turns. It can't be 50/50 on every single date (that would be like a teammate instead of something steady), esp. not on my birthday.
Lastly if feminists actually believe there is true equality then wouldn't we all be going to the same public bathroom and play in the same basketfall field?
We're all different, but the idea is to be equal in value for whatever it is we're offering. A physician is not an attorney is not an artist is not a scientist, etc. People have their strengths and weaknesses. I certainly don't know feminism to the degree as tazzled, but what I do know is that no man has the right to tell any woman that she lacks the innate ability to be a doctor, a scientist, to hold a job or own a home; to have her own ideas, dreams/goals; basically to live her life without being under the thumb of a man.
With that said, I do agree with you that some women are contradictory. They call themselves feminists while they expect a man to feed them. I've never understood that. Women that want that from their men are traditionalists and there's room for them and everyone else.
That's because some feminists aren't true feminists (while they think we should be totally equal to men, at the same time they have some reservation in certain areas). If you say you're something, then stay with that.
I've never called myself a real feminist because I would be lying. I don't think there is such a thing as absolute equality between men and women. For instance, I will definitely not last 12 rounds in a regular male boxing match. If I'm brave, maybe one full punch will still have me standing since I'm not that short nor too skinny but that's about it. Unless it's Chyna and other female wrestlers or a professional martial artist, the average woman will not last longer.
Another area: If some man asked me out, it's not my idea then it's an invitation. If it's me doing that invitation then it's fair I either pay for it or split the bill. Afterwards, we should be taking turns. It can't be 50/50 on every single date (that would be like a teammate instead of something steady), esp. not on my birthday.
Lastly if feminists actually believe there is true equality then wouldn't we all be going to the same public bathroom and play in the same basketfall field?
I don't think most feminists demand equality in that sense, I think they feel we should at least receive the same opportunities whether or not we succeed. If you bar women from something completely, there may be a few women who can succeed and do well, but if they're told 'no' automatically I don't think that's equality.
As for the public bathrooms and basketball courts, for me using a woman's restroom is a privacy issue for both sexes. Just because I want to be equal doesn't mean I want some random guy trying to look over the bathroom stall while I'm peeing, and I'm sure men would appreciate the same regarding women.
For sports, there is a big divide. Men are naturally stronger and more athletic than many women and physically we are built differently. The gap is getting smaller, however, and women are now starting to catch up with mens times in running and swimming.
In the end, I just want to be given the same opportunity that men are, and whether I pass or fail is up to me.
I am a feminist and I am very proud of my independence. It has never ever stopped me from being attractive to men because I am not a man hater. I believe in true equality, we are equal but different and we can live together harmoniously if we respect and help one another.
There is this misnomer that all feminists are radical which is simply not true. I completely understand if men pick up the vibe that a woman despises men but in my experience few women really hate guys at all.
Very few women hate men. Very few people hate and when hate's really involved it's not about feminism or anything else but emotional/mental illness.
Feminism gets a bad name because the kooky extremists are always at the forefront. Rarely do you hear from moderates who simply want to live their lives as the choose.
Smart people know the difference. Railing against it just shows ignorance.
I am not a feminist, BTW.
I agree on both counts. A moderate also generally doesn't identify herself as one. She'll just say something like I think women should have the same opportunities and pay as men, or something to that effect.
However, it gets annoying when you are either going out with or friends with a woman who has a pattern of "always taking the woman's side," no matter what, because her feminism is rooted in victimization or something. I've known a couple like that. I'm know I've done threads with more specific info on this event. You almost have no choice but to walk away.
Very few women hate men. Very few people hate and when hate's really involved it's not about feminism or anything else but emotional/mental illness.
Are you cool with men disliking certain TYPES of women? In this case, I mean general personality types rather than a look type. (Funny how mostly, they sort of go hand in hand). I'm cool with women not liking certain TYPES of men.
Last edited by robertpolyglot; 11-19-2012 at 07:56 PM..
I agree on both counts. A moderate also generally doesn't identify herself as one. She'll just say something like I think women should have the same opportunities and pay as men, or something to that effect.
However, it gets annoying when you are either going out with or friends with a woman who has a pattern of "always taking the woman's side," no matter what, because her feminism is rooted in victimization or something. I've known a couple like that. I'm know I've done threads with more specific info on this event. You almost have no choice but to walk away.
I see more moderates on this forum than extremists. It's not as if people here are writing books or going to rallies. I would bet at most the vote is the biggest action. Further, I never see feminism come up offline and certainly don't see friends argue when going out.
Are you cool with men disliking certain TYPES of women? In this case, I mean general personality types rather than a look type. (Funny how most types they sort of go hand in hand). I'm cool with women not liking certain TYPES of men.
It's completely normal to dislike certain types of people. I don't think anyone would argue that point, at all.
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