Feminism and dating (married, different, personal, accept)
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Are you cool with men disliking certain TYPES of women? In this case, I mean general personality types rather than a look type. (Funny how most types they sort of go hand in hand). I'm cool with women not liking certain TYPES of men.
Yeah like men that curse like a sailor and those with the ''I can sleep around and you can't, but I'm now looking for a decent woman'' entitlement.
It's ok for men to not stand certain types of women.
However, it gets annoying when you are either going out with or friends with a woman who has a pattern of "always taking the woman's side," no matter what, because her feminism is rooted in victimization or something. I've known a couple like that. I'm know I've done threads with more specific info on this event. You almost have no choice but to walk away.
You need to do some reading of the history books, because feminism is rooted in victimisation. The fact that women could not own property, vote, or have any say in their own lives is oppression and that is how women have lived and still do live today.
Are you cool with men disliking certain TYPES of women? In this case, I mean general personality types rather than a look type. (Funny how most types they sort of go hand in hand). I'm cool with women not liking certain TYPES of men.
Of course I am. We're all quite diverse. I'm about as picky as they come. I can relate to that coming from men.
I don't understand how being picky or liking what you like has anything to do with feminism. It seems as if people don't even really know what feminism actually means.
Has everyone actually looked up exactly what Feminism stands for? I mean like a dictionary, or google search? Because if you really have, then why are some of you against it?
Feminism; Belief in women's rights; Belief in the need to secure rights and opportunities equal to those of men. A movement committed to securing and defending rights and opportunites for women equal to those of men.
Another definition; Feminism; The theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.
I think that last definition sums it up quite neatly and nicely. All 'Feminism' stands for is equal opportunites in all things for both genders. Some of you REALLY have a problem with that? WHY?? Do you think your daughters should not have the same opportunites in life as your sons?? Really?
So, if you, as a woman, sat at a desk and answered calls all day at an office, and a man sat in the next booth and answered calls all day, should HE get paid more simply because he is a man when you both do the EXACT same job?? Should you not be able to vote simply because you are a woman?? Should you not be able to seek work AT ALL simply because you are a woman??
THIS is what Feminism wants to protect against...not be something to beat up on men with. It is not about that, even if there are some who try to make it into that. You cant control what people say and do. Men, it's about having what YOU already get just by you having a pe-nis. It's easy for you men to say you dont like it, because it makes you feel like you are above us if we dont have the same things you have. And that feeds the ego.
Regardless of what some over the top so called femininsts say or do, make no mistake as to what Feminism stands for. Simply equality for both genders. Why in the world would anyone have a problem with that? Well, I know why, but It would take a lot longer for me to get into all that.
Imagine if people came on this forum now, in 2012, and said that they do not believe minorities should have the same rights as white people. All heck would break loose. But, in 2012 people can still get away with downing something(feminism) that merely says there should be political, economic, and social equality of the sexes.
You know, I am a black female. Though white males probably think they are made out to be the villans in everything, I ask you to look at it from my point of view as a black woman. It must be GREAT to be white, and male. No one tells you where you "should" go. No where tells you what you can and cant do. No one tells you you cant be a doctor, lawyer, indian chief, whatever. No one tells you your opinions dont matter. No one tells you you dont have the right to say this..or do that. No one tells you what you should be doing with your life. Just by being freaking being BORN I have to deal with people who just feel they have the right to tell me how to freaking breathe air!! Everything is an uphill battle. Example..if you are a woman, you have to be twice as good as a man in a job to even get any freaking respect.
Listen, no one is better just because they happened to be born into a certain race, or of a certain sex. That is stuff you cant control. But you CAN control HOW you live your life. How about just basing your attitudes of people based on what they do, and how they act, rather than on things they cant control?
If things were like that from day one, we would have never needed things like affirmative action, or movements like feminism. But no, some one always wants to control someone else, or look down on someone else.
That's because some feminists aren't true feminists (while they think we should be totally equal to men, at the same time they have some reservation in certain areas). If you say you're something, then stay with that.
I've never called myself a real feminist because I would be lying. I don't think there is such a thing as absolute equality between men and women. For instance, I will definitely not last 12 rounds in a regular male boxing match. If I'm brave, maybe one full punch will still have me standing since I'm not that short nor too skinny but that's about it. Unless it's Chyna and other female wrestlers or a professional martial artist, the average woman will not last longer.
Another area: If some man asked me out, it's not my idea then it's an invitation. If it's me doing that invitation then it's fair I either pay for it or split the bill. Afterwards, we should be taking turns. It can't be 50/50 on every single date (that would be like a teammate instead of something steady), esp. not on my birthday.
Lastly if feminists actually believe there is true equality then wouldn't we all be going to the same public bathroom and play in the same basketfall field?
Its not about physical differences most males won't stand a chance in a 12 round boxing match or going to the same public bathroom. Its about not having those things being played to a higher standing than what they really are. There differences between sexes and differences within the sexes themselves so those things should not be dwelled upon.
Also if that's what you like for your dating that's fine it should be up to the individual to decide what works for them not some overarching rule. What you described as teammate is what some folks would describe as going steady.
So we all know about the never-ending trope of stereotypes for black women. And surprisingly enough, black woman are doing OK in corporate america. At least up to the middle management level. Because the "agressive" stereotype can sort of play well when it is time to get ahead. Until you hit the glass ceiling of course.
So when women are "reclaiming" the word ****, I really can't relate. If you ever look at the stats on street harassment and the like, black women have it a lot worse. Because we aren't supposed to be as "feminine" as women of other ethnic groups. And there have been hundreds of years of stereotyping of the "exotic" and "sexual" black woman. It is almost as if by default, we are already considered sluts. I'd rather spend my time reclaiming the right to not be considered a ****. And maybe a little while to be considered the epitome of femininity, instead of the opposite.
Both of my grandmothers "worked outside the home." There was no big victory for the right to work. They were already working. Their fight wasn't the right to work. It was the right to have time at home with their families (and living wages). And the right to send their children to a quality school.
I know there is a lot of the BS about putting women on a pedestal. In many ways, for white women the goal was to get off the pedestal. For women of the color, it would be nice to be considered worthy of the pedestal.
That doesn't mean we can't all work towards the same goals, but I don't think the feminist movement does a good job of looking at other perspectives.
So back to the whole equal pay, equal work thing. A couple of months ago, someone did a study, and they assigned a few company profile to different types of leaders. In the case the company failed in the profile, black women were judged more harshly than the white female counterparts. Black Women Leaders Face 'Double Jeopardy,' Harsher Criticism Than Others: Study
Even though we are all women, most of the time, for women of color we are seen as black (or asian, latina or maybe even lesbian) first. And by default the feminist movement doesn't address those "2 strikes."
**ok this was a little disjointed, I hope it makes sense.
because they write stuff about how worthless men are, how they don't need men in society anymore. Men get portrayed as dumb on tv shows and movies, the dad
is made to be a buffoon.
I am all for women having equal pay and good opportunities to succeed, advance in their careers, etc. But i would never date a feminist. I steer clear of them like the plague. Why would i want to spend my free time with someone who hates men? How can a woman like that possibly make me happy?
Feminism gets a bad name because the kooky extremists are always at the forefront. Rarely do you hear from moderates who simply want to live their lives as the choose.
Smart people know the difference. Railing against it just shows ignorance.
I am not a feminist, BTW.
This response interests me. Usually people announce they are not feminists because they believe feminists are angry manhaters (if they're women) or that feminism means men are inferior to women (if they're men). Your handle makes me think you're a woman, so I am curious about your reasons if you don't mind my asking.
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