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Now as I was reading it, I thought to myself "Codependent much", but then I started thinking about my own life and I realized that 90% of my social activities are centered around guys.
But I also notice that when I go to my networking events and don't meet a great guy, I get depressed. I feel it's a wasted night.
I don't know you and your posting style. Your closed profile doesn't help, either. (I don't understand how "friending" works when a profile is closed on here, except when you sort of know a person's stance).
I look at this as similar to "Do what you love, and the money will come." In other words, go about the business of living, do what you want to do, and you'll meet someone. I have no clue how old you are, but by the time you hit 30, the "little girl" butterflies should stop. You sound like you HAVE TO HAVE a man to make you feel like a complete person. The more needy you are, the less likely it is going to happen ... unless you're "smokin' LA or South Beach hot," at which point you'll have a following, and for all the wrong reasons. However, you don't seem like that type. If you have some "sprucing up" (minimal self-improvement) to do, then do it. Otherwise, chill ... and be yourself.
You'll feel like that right up till you have your first baby.
Then, if you aren't a brainless bimbo, the men come second best.
Often, this is the start of a slow road of women needing men less and less, and men becoming more and more resentful about it, until the whole damn mess slides into child custody arrangements.
After that, you no longer look to a man to make you happy, if you have half a clue. You and your kids live happily ever after.
PS. some women find they have to repeat the above procedure more than once before it finally sticks.
I never wanted to be first, and I never have been. But my wife treats all of her "loves" (in 3 generations) the same. Lucky us.
I don't know you and your posting style. Your closed profile doesn't help, either. (I don't understand how "friending" works when a profile is closed on here, except when you sort of know a person's stance).
I look at this as similar to "Do what you love, and the money will come." In other words, go about the business of living, do what you want to do, and you'll meet someone. I have no clue how old you are, but by the time you hit 30, the "little girl" butterflies should stop. You sound like you HAVE TO HAVE a man to make you feel like a complete person. The more needy you are, the less likely it is going to happen ... unless you're "smokin' LA or South Beach hot," at which point you'll have a following, and for all the wrong reasons. However, you don't seem like that type. If you have some "sprucing up" (minimal self-improvement) to do, then do it. Otherwise, chill ... and be yourself.
100% this ^^^
What I have noticed from my group of friends and acquaintances is that the girls who go on "man hunts" are terminally single and the ones who don't tend to have no problems meeting men in random times and places.
People use the word "depressed" way too loosely. You get bummed if you don't meet a great guy, and I don't think that's unusual. Depression is a whole other ball game (and I do think that would indicate a huge issue).
Many of us are programmed to believe that love and finding that match is the end-all. You may be more aware of your motivation, but I think a lot of men and women put themselves out there for the chance to pair off. I do not see how this can be "wrong" when it's pretty natural.
I can't relate, but I do wish I could be motivated by men. If I was, I don't think I would have passed on a few of the great guys who came into my life.
I agree. I think most people do what I realize I do, actively go out in search of a mate and when they don't find it get bummed.
The problem is that if she has to actively "hunt" for men then she most likely is not what most of these men are looking for anyway. If she were then she would not need to constantlt be on the lookout for one. The tone of her original post reeks of desperation.
I do not "actively hunt" for men. Do I prefer to go out to events that involve guys, more than women, Hell Yes. Does it mean that when I go there, I am flirting with them, ogling them and asking them out? Hell No. That is not my style. My style is for men to come to me both online and off-line. And they do. Trust me I am not lacking for guys. I also mentioned that I was super picky. If I wasn't I'd have 10 babies by now.
It is quality I seek.
It seems she has no problems meeting men. Maybe not EVERY guy she's interested in is interested in her, but it's obvious from her post, she has no problems attracting some men that she is attracted to.
The tone of the op's post doesn't reek of desperation. It reeks of a serial dater that has finally realized why they do what they do, or is it at least trying to understand it. People shouldn't be hated on for trying to figure out why they are one way or another. I feel like you would appreciate some introspective analysis.
Thanks also for getting my point. Don't know how calipoppy reached that conclusion, but this being CD, people like to reach
Last edited by Peacelilies; 11-25-2012 at 03:51 PM..
I don't understand, where do women like you exist in real life? I just don't get it, I would love to meet a woman who was as interested in finding somebody nice as I am
I see these threads and sometimes I wonder if I'm reading threads and posts from people posting in Jupiter
Lol. But if we met, there might not be a match.
We might want different things in a partner.
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