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Why are you acting as if a person can only go to Europe once? So what if she goes on the class trip, you both will be going together the following year and will experience the trip in a completely different manner.
Stop being petty, needy and whiny.
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Originally Posted by jeepin4us
Like most people money is tight but my wife and I have been saving for a trip to Europe sometime in the future. Not sure exactly when we planned it a few years ago we said 2014 or 2015 so we’d have a goal. We’ve saved our Frequent Flyer miles for years knowing someday we’d take a trip of a lifetime across Europe for a couple of weeks in 2014 or 2015 and use the miles for our airfare. We travel about 1-2 times a year by air, mostly to visit her adult children who live out of state and when we do we try to keep it on the Delta so we can add to our FF miles for our trip.
My wife is a teacher at a high school and every 2 years the juniors & seniors go to Europe in the spring. About 10 chaperones are needed so they can volunteer to go as well and they get to go for FREE! Not a bad deal huh? When the trip came up in 2012 I asked if she was interested in going and she said “no because she’d rather go with me in a few years”. Aww that’s sweet. Fast forward to this year she mentioned that this year the school is planning for the next Europe trip in 2014. Since she’d had already said she’d rather go with me I didn’t inquire much about it and she never mentioned it again.
This past weekend we were at her work Christmas party and one of her girlfriends from work asked us what I thought about my wife going to Europe with them in 2014 and what a great opportunity it was and blah, blah, blah. My wife had the “OH...***” look on her face and I didn’t say anything to either of them. One the way home I asked what that was all about and she said she’d like to go with the school to Europe in 2014. I said that’s great but I thought WE, as in you & I were going to go in 2014 or 2015? She replied that was great but it’s almost free. Then says it’ll be an extra $600 for her because she wants to pay for a private room on the trip rather than a semi-private one because she snores. She then pointed out since she’s going to go in 2014 WE don’t have to go in 2014 or 2015 and “can do something else”?! WTF? I asked when were you going to mention it and she didn’t say a thing. I was looking forward to going in a year or two but now she’s hitting all the places we’d go: Greece, Italy, France…
So now the trip I found out about isn’t free but will cost about $600, we won’t be going for a few years since she’s going and I don’t know how to feel about it. I’m kinda pissed and kinda hurt because she didn’t mention it and I thought we’d go together. What do you think? Am I being unreasonable? I haven't mentioned it again.
Why are you acting as if a person can only go to Europe once? So what if she goes on the class trip, you both will be going together the following year and will experience the trip in a completely different manner.
Stop being petty, needy and whiny.
I think it's because she told him, "You and I can do something else". I'd be livid!
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She then pointed out since she’s going to go in 2014 WE don’t have to go in 2014 or 2015 and “can do something else”?!
That was not cool of her. I'd be pissed. Is it all said and done, no questions asked, she's going? Or could you tell her you'd prefer to go in 2014 as a couple like originally planned?
Bad girl...no, no...I'm just jealous!!
Yep, for me, it's about her not telling him. It's about her seemingly making all these plans without consulting him. It shouldn't be concrete yet as they've not discussed it...but if it is, THAT is the problem. It's a big deal to travel and for me, it's about being with my spouse and sharing with him all the things we talked about and planned. It just really seems to me that there's another element we don't yet know about. Not trying to be sinister but my spidey senses are tingling.
You know, when I was 15, I went on one of those trips. The teachers were more wild than the students. Just saying. I'd not only be irritated if I were the OP, but wondering why she wanted a private room instead of just buying the person she'd be sharing a room with some earplugs.
No, the whole thing stinks.
I agree.
When we went on our senior trip, the teachers were hooking up with each other as much as we were. I'm not trying to create suspicion here, but she's acting pretty shady.
Why are you acting as if a person can only go to Europe once? So what if she goes on the class trip, you both will be going together the following year and will experience the trip in a completely different manner.
Stop being petty, needy and whiny.
It's not like they said, "Maybe we'll go to Europe someday," in this vague kind of way, and then this trip just happened to pop up. They've been deliberately saving for their own trip for a few years, setting aside money for it and planning it as a dream trip for the two of them. I really don't see how her actions could be interpreted as anything less than hurtful in their selfishness and nonchalance toward his feelings and the effort he has put into saving for the trip, himself.
Yep, for me, it's about her not telling him. It's about her seemingly making all these plans without consulting him. It shouldn't be concrete yet as they've not discussed it...but if it is, THAT is the problem. It's a big deal to travel and for me, it's about being with my spouse and sharing with him all the things we talked about and planned. It just really seems to me that there's another element we don't yet know about. Not trying to be sinister but my spidey senses are tingling.
I agree though...not cool at all.
We need more info...
I am so beyond tired of people needing to "ask permission" from their spouses to do the things that they want to do. The husband needs to get over it. It makes him sound like he's clingy and insecure. If I were the wife I would go to Europe without him, too.
Why are you acting as if a person can only go to Europe once? So what if she goes on the class trip, you both will be going together the following year and will experience the trip in a completely different manner.
Stop being petty, needy and whiny.
His point is that she's being really shady about it.
Why be so shady if she doesn't have something to hide?
I am so beyond tired of people needing to "ask permission" from their spouses to do the things that they want to do. The husband needs to get over it. It makes him sound like he's clingy and insecure. If I were the wife I would go to Europe without him, too.
Umm, there's a big difference between not asking your spouse if it's ok to go out with the girls next Friday night and not telling said spouse that you changed your mind about a trip that has been in the works for years. It sounds like they were planning for quite a while, saving up FF miles, money, etc. and she changed gears.
Ultimately, she is at fault for not communicating with him prior to making such a decision--again, it's not a small thing. He no doubt was looking forward to spending that FIRST time in Europe TOGETHER. I'd be pretty upset myself!
I am so beyond tired of people needing to "ask permission" from their spouses to do the things that they want to do. The husband needs to get over it. It makes him sound like he's clingy and insecure. If I were the wife I would go to Europe without him, too.
Try again. She wants to use their money, meaning it's partly his. But even if she said she'd pay the $600 herself, that's $600 that she's not putting toward the trip that they agreed they'd save for and take.
It's not a matter of asking permission. It's a matter of common courtesy and decency, not to mention respect for what your spouse hopes to share with you and the dreams you have together.
Maybe you've never been married, so maybe you don't understand why this is so hurtful.
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