Am I Too Picky???? (marriage, women, love, single)
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Today, I was informed by some of my friends at work that I am just too picky. It came up because this new guy started today. So, my two closest friends at work ask me if I saw the new guy. I was like yeah...So they're like well what do you think? I was like he seems okay, kinda young and a little on the short side. I am 33 and that guy clearly looks 25 at the most. I just have always preferred guys closer to my age or older. Then they start complaining that I am just too picky. Both of them are married. Friend # 1, I have known one for almost 6 years (she's one of my BF) & Friend # 2 for about 2 years.
This isn't the first time they wanted to hook me up someone. I really don't think I ask too much. I would like someone employed, with a motor vehicle, no criminal record, not living at home with their parents.
Of course I have preferences like no kids, but I will look over that. I love a hot guy, but he doesn't have to be. I just need to find something attractive. I like tall guys, but it's not necessary.
I don't think having standards is the same at being picky. If I was going after trash they would be complaining about that too. The last guy I was talking too Friend # 1 made me feel horrible about. I guess it bothered me a little bit, so I talked to Friend # 1 about it after work. She claimed she was mostly joking, but then said I needed to compromise on some things.
I don't want to be so ridiculous where I am alone forever, but dang!! I understand they want me happy. I want to be happy in a relationship too. I just think sometimes my married friends just don't understand because they have been married so long. They haven't dated in a long time. Both friends said if they went by the initial preferences they would have never married their husbands.
This isn't the first time they wanted to hook me up someone. I really don't think I ask too much. I would like someone employed, with a motor vehicle, no criminal record, not living at home with their parents.
Of course I have preferences like no kids, but I will look over that. I love a hot guy, but he doesn't have to be. I just need to find something attractive. I like tall guys, but it's not necessary.
As long as you yourself have all the things that you're looking for in a partner, I wouldn't say that you're too picky. Based on what you listed, I don't think you're asking for too much at all.
You should ask yourself, look at reasons you turned down/broke up with/don't interest you with guys. If you find there are nitpicky reasons, then guess what.
BTW, you said tall guys aren't necessary but your assessment of the new guy was he is on the short side.
In the example you gave, the new guy strikes you as a bit short, and appears young, neither of which are too picky, IMO. Can you give other examples of why your friends think you have a history of being too picky and you need to compromise?
Or is it that you're not measuring up to their standards of pick anyone, because they "just want you to be happeeeeeeeee!"
You not picky at all. I think what you expect from a guy is completely normal. I think I should follow your expectation lol my bf lived with his dad, had a dui, couldnt drive his car because of his dui and was unemployed ( at least he was in collage HAHA) You live and learn lol
Well, every woman I've ever known who was picky said something to the effect of, "I just have standards." Kind of like alcoholics who say, "I can quit whenever I want." We've know women whose 'standards' were so unrealistic that they managed to reach their forties without finding anyone suitable, despite some really great guys coming their way. One of those women now calls MrsCPG every few months and says, "Do you know anybody? And I mean anybody."
Look, I don't know enough about you to say whether you are or not. But if you're just dismissing a guy out of hand simply because he's not as tall as you'd like or not as old as you like, even before talking to him, then you might indeed be too picky. Have a five-minute conversation with him before you say, "Meh. Not for me."
Well, every woman I've ever known who was picky said something to the effect of, "I just have standards." Kind of like alcoholics who say, "I can quit whenever I want." We've know women whose 'standards' were so unrealistic that they managed to reach their forties without finding anyone suitable, despite some really great guys coming their way. One of those women now calls MrsCPG every few months and says, "Do you know anybody? And I mean anybody."
Look, I don't know enough about you to say whether you are or not. But if you're just dismissing a guy out of hand simply because he's not as tall as you'd like or not as old as you like, even before talking to him, then you might indeed be too picky. Have a five-minute conversation with him before you say, "Meh. Not for me."
Is that being picky or just practical? Sure, plenty of women these days end up single, largely because marriage is not necessary for sex. I'm not saying things should change, in that respect. You combine your perceived pickiness with a large minority of men who are happier being players, and it doesn't leave many qualified men in the eligibility pool. Women are wired to be particular because there's more at stake in child rearing. Men are just looking for ample hips, large breasts, and general good health.
Today, I was informed by some of my friends at work that I am just too picky. It came up because this new guy started today. So, my two closest friends at work ask me if I saw the new guy. I was like yeah...So they're like well what do you think? I was like he seems okay, kinda young and a little on the short side. I am 33 and that guy clearly looks 25 at the most. I just have always preferred guys closer to my age or older. Then they start complaining that I am just too picky. Both of them are married. Friend # 1, I have known one for almost 6 years (she's one of my BF) & Friend # 2 for about 2 years.
This isn't the first time they wanted to hook me up someone. I really don't think I ask too much. I would like someone employed, with a motor vehicle, no criminal record, not living at home with their parents.
Of course I have preferences like no kids, but I will look over that. I love a hot guy, but he doesn't have to be. I just need to find something attractive. I like tall guys, but it's not necessary.
I don't think having standards is the same at being picky. If I was going after trash they would be complaining about that too. The last guy I was talking too Friend # 1 made me feel horrible about. I guess it bothered me a little bit, so I talked to Friend # 1 about it after work. She claimed she was mostly joking, but then said I needed to compromise on some things.
I don't want to be so ridiculous where I am alone forever, but dang!! I understand they want me happy. I want to be happy in a relationship too. I just think sometimes my married friends just don't understand because they have been married so long. They haven't dated in a long time. Both friends said if they went by the initial preferences they would have never married their husbands.
You'll know when the right time and person comes. Cliche as that sounds, it's true. Don't lower your standards out of desperation. You'll regret that someday. You'll never regret waiting until you know for certain that you've met the right guy.
I don't think you are too picky. I just think you were not initially attracted to the guy. There's nothing wrong with that.
However, if you take the time to get to know him, your opinion and feelings may change. His personality may be the "attractive" quality that draws you in.
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