Girls on dating sites who complain that they are tired of people not reading their profile (how to, women)
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I was skimming through the old Plenty Of Fish dating site last night,and came across so many girls who at one point in thier profile or headline said that they ignore guys that do not read their profile or they are tired of guys not reading their profile info. So, after finally getting tired of hearing that I decided to randomly message the next girl who had this on her headline and just tried to give her a little insight into why I can understand the guys who do this to her and other girls.
I thought about starting to do the same thing because it seems to be a waste of time trying to communicate with some of these girls after spending that 3 minutes reading the details of their profile and then mentioning some things or questioning some things they said as you send your first greeting message. Usually they will just answer your question and never respond saying anything about your profile or asking your opinion on their profile...
For instance, One time I sent a greeting to this girl introducing her with my name, a little background on myself, and a little joke to lighten the mood, then I would ask like a couple things about what I read on her profile and then a totally different question, then tell her I hope she has a great day and hope to hear from her. Well in this case I asked the girl what she thought of the new city she was now living in and how did she miss living in her old city. Well she said I like it hear, I like this bar near my new house. Then she said she misses her city, but is making the best of her new home. Then I asked her about the bar she liked up here and she told me where it was and that she liked playing darts there. After that she didn't say anything else, so I didn't say anything else either because she didn't ask me one question or say anything about what my profile had in it. She told me I was cute in the first message, but that was it. So, after the efforts at getting to know her I just gave up because I felt she lacked communication skills and I was tired of trying because I had sent 5 other girls the same kind of questions and they responded selfishly as well.
So, here is the message I sent to this girl today about why I think guys don't read girl's profiles too much...(It's too much work in my own experience, but I still keep trying)...I think lots of guys just gave up on putting too much effort into it, what do you think? What do you think of the message/explanation I sent this girl?
HERE'S THE MESSAGE:
"I read your profile and get what you're saying, but I'll tell you why guys don't spend time reading the profile. At least from my experience this is how it goes down. I always took time to read peoples' profiles and have sent many messages to girls on here. In my greeting message I will introduce myself, then talk about or ask about some things I saw in that person's profile and then ask an additional question of my own then give a polite ending. After all this, most girls will answer the question or questions and tell me what they think or about themselves, but that will be it. No question in return or no asking us what we think about the same things, so at this point I realize either this person cannot communicate or is just not interested, so I move on. This is one reason why lots of guys don't take time or put effort in because we spend too much time and energy and find out people won't make the same effort as in most cases you ladies have lots of little messages and options to choose from. I personally am not trying to spend time competing with other dudes, so if a woman does not make an effort to care about my profile after me reading and responding to hers then why waste anymore of my time right? This is why guys just ask about things u already wrote before even reading it, either that or they are the types that just want sex." - Me to some random girl on POF
I was skimming through the old Plenty Of Fish dating site last night,and came across so many girls who at one point in thier profile or headline said that they ignore guys that do not read their profile or they are tired of guys not reading their profile info. So, after finally getting tired of hearing that I decided to randomly message the next girl who had this on her headline and just tried to give her a little insight into why I can understand the guys who do this to her and other girls.
I thought about starting to do the same thing because it seems to be a waste of time trying to communicate with some of these girls after spending that 3 minutes reading the details of their profile and then mentioning some things or questioning some things they said as you send your first greeting message. Usually they will just answer your question and never respond saying anything about your profile or asking your opinion on their profile...
For instance, One time I sent a greeting to this girl introducing her with my name, a little background on myself, and a little joke to lighten the mood, then I would ask like a couple things about what I read on her profile and then a totally different question, then tell her I hope she has a great day and hope to hear from her. Well in this case I asked the girl what she thought of the new city she was now living in and how did she miss living in her old city. Well she said I like it hear, I like this bar near my new house. Then she said she misses her city, but is making the best of her new home. Then I asked her about the bar she liked up here and she told me where it was and that she liked playing darts there. After that she didn't say anything else, so I didn't say anything else either because she didn't ask me one question or say anything about what my profile had in it. She told me I was cute in the first message, but that was it. So, after the efforts at getting to know her I just gave up because I felt she lacked communication skills and I was tired of trying because I had sent 5 other girls the same kind of questions and they responded selfishly as well.
So, here is the message I sent to this girl today about why I think guys don't read girl's profiles too much...(It's too much work in my own experience, but I still keep trying)...I think lots of guys just gave up on putting too much effort into it, what do you think? What do you think of the message/explanation I sent this girl?
HERE'S THE MESSAGE:
"I read your profile and get what you're saying, but I'll tell you why guys don't spend time reading the profile. At least from my experience this is how it goes down. I always took time to read peoples' profiles and have sent many messages to girls on here. In my greeting message I will introduce myself, then talk about or ask about some things I saw in that person's profile and then ask an additional question of my own then give a polite ending. After all this, most girls will answer the question or questions and tell me what they think or about themselves, but that will be it. No question in return or no asking us what we think about the same things, so at this point I realize either this person cannot communicate or is just not interested, so I move on. This is one reason why lots of guys don't take time or put effort in because we spend too much time and energy and find out people won't make the same effort as in most cases you ladies have lots of little messages and options to choose from. I personally am not trying to spend time competing with other dudes, so if a woman does not make an effort to care about my profile after me reading and responding to hers then why waste anymore of my time right? This is why guys just ask about things u already wrote before even reading it, either that or they are the types that just want sex." - Me to some random girl on POF
Lmao! Reading a profile is not doing someone else a “favor”
It is doing yourself a HUGE favor..
I will tell you why…..
There are some women that have been there and done that..This is not their first rodeo…They have been on there for some time and finally determined what they want and do not want…
This is not done to mean or catty..but every person ( Yes, including men) know that as adults and being Adults means limited time and by stating likes, dislikes, hobbies and lifestyle should weed out men or women that they are NOT interested in…
Reading a profile before sending a PM or before responding to PM should be priority..
I.E..The person you click on you may find very attractive..
However say the woman is not looking for a long term relationship? Is a swinger? Does not date your ethnicity? Has 7 kids and you prefer dating women with no children? The woman is unemployed and this is a big deal for you? You love country music and she hates it? She has stated she only dates professionals? And you are blue collar?
Or does not date men without kids? She is 420 friendly? Or does harder drugs and you are drug free?
One should do this the same as looking for jobs, the duties, expectations and what the pay is and the education needed before applying.. It is best never to assume..
So you took the time to read a profile and sent a message..welcome to the world of online dating..
Do not expect a reply unless the person feels everyone deserves a response even though they have no interest of meeting but just replying to be polite..
However you keep doing what you feel you need to do..
Lmao! Reading a profile is not doing someone else a “favor”
It is doing yourself a HUGE favor..
I will tell you why…..
There are some women that have been there and done that..This is not their first rodeo…They have been on there for some time and finally determined what they want and do not want…
This is not done to mean or catty..but every person ( Yes, including men) know that as adults and being Adults means limited time and by stating likes, dislikes, hobbies and lifestyle should weed out men or women that they are NOT interested in…
Reading a profile before sending a PM or before responding to PM should be priority..
I.E..The person you click on you may find very attractive..
However say the woman is not looking for a long term relationship? Is a swinger? Does not date your ethnicity? Has 7 kids and you prefer dating women with no children? The woman is unemployed and this is a big deal for you? You love country music and she hates it? She has stated she only dates professionals? And you are blue collar?
Or does not date men without kids? She is 420 friendly? Or does harder drugs and you are drug free?
One should do this the same as looking for jobs, the duties, expectations and what the pay is and the education needed before applying.. It is best never to assume..
So you took the time to read a profile and sent a message..welcome to the world of online dating..
Do not expect a reply unless the person feels everyone deserves a response even though they have no interest of meeting but just replying to be polite..
However you keep doing what you feel you need to do..
I totally get everything you said here and I agree, and I realize when a woman does not respond that she is probably just not interested as our profiles may not match like you just said. I'm refering more to the women who do take time to respond to messages and compliment my look or say hey, I like this hobbie too! ect...but yet after asking them questions and follow up questions after they give answers, and they still have no questions for you or thoughts about your answers, this makes me think they are either self centered or simply do not know how to hold a conversation or make it flow. My rule has been that I make 2 or three efforts/messages and if they do not ask anything about me and what I think or what I like about the subject we are talking about...then I move on....and I have moved on a lot because of simple lack of communication that takes place all the time, which made me finally think of why other guys may not put effort into it anymore as much as I do.
Possibly what most gals mean when they complain that they are tired of people not reading their profile is that they are tired of being messaged by guys that don't fit their criteria. Such as a gal stating she wants a guy to be at least a certain height yet guys below that height continue to message her.
I don't think a lot guys just gave up on putting too much effort into it as in my opinion guys generally don't put in much effort and begrudge investing any time/money on a gal. Guys seem to be more about as tricks, secrets, etc that take as little effort as possible and work on most gals rather than considering gals individuals and putting too much effort.
As for your explanation that you sent to that gal in my opinion it seemed to be patronizing 'mansplaining' in hopes that she will conform to what you want.
As for your explanation that you sent to that gal in my opinion it seemed to be patronizing 'mansplaining' in hopes that she will conform to what you want.
Actually it wasn't really about caring what she thought about my insight which is based on my own experiences with the dating site,or trying to get her to conform, but it was more to vent and to give her my view of why I would maybe start doing what other guys do by not paying attention to their profile because it seems not to matter to anyone that I spend time asking about something that was imbedded in the middle of their profiles, so maybe I'll just message the cute ones and see if they respond to a one line message instead of investing my time thinking about what to say based off of their likes or desires which are in their profiles. This will cut lots of wasted effort and time out of my life on those sites.
I put these women in the same category as those who "like to have fun" and "travel." Who are 'looking for their partner in crime' ad infinitum.
Be careful what you ask for. I've read plenty of profiles that discouraged me from sending a message mainly because of the writer's tone. Why waste profile space bitching about what other people do when you can be telling me more about what sort of person you are and what sort of things you're into? Negativity in a profile(that isn't clearly sarcastic) is more than likely a turn off to any guy with any sort of sense.
I put these women in the same category as those who "like to have fun" and "travel." Who are 'looking for their partner in crime' ad infinitum.
Be careful what you ask for. I've read plenty of profiles that discouraged me from sending a message mainly because of the writer's tone. Why waste profile space bitching about what other people do when you can be telling me more about what sort of person you are and what sort of things you're into? Negativity in a profile(that isn't clearly sarcastic) is more than likely a turn off to any guy with any sort of sense.
Nothing. And the same goes for women who like to have fun. What sane person doesn't enjoy these things?
I was merely making a point about how so many dating profiles run these tired cliches into the ground. Complaining about guys not reading their profiles is just another example of that.
Nothing. And the same goes for women who like to have fun. What sane person doesn't enjoy these things?
I was merely making a point about how so many dating profiles run these tired cliches into the ground. Complaining about guys not reading their profiles is just another example of that.
I totally get everything you said here and I agree, and I realize when a woman does not respond that she is probably just not interested as our profiles may not match like you just said. I'm refering more to the women who do take time to respond to messages and compliment my look or say hey, I like this hobbie too! ect...but yet after asking them questions and follow up questions after they give answers, and they still have no questions for you or thoughts about your answers,this makes me think they are either self centered or simply do not know how to hold a conversation or make it flow. My rule has been that I make 2 or three efforts/messages and if they do not ask anything about me and what I think or what I like about the subject we are talking about...then I move on....and I have moved on a lot because of simple lack of communication that takes place all the time, which made me finally think of why other guys may not put effort into it anymore as much as I do.
I think it just means they aren't all that interested in you, but aren't repulsed by you either. They are on the fence, hoping that a more interesting candidate comes along, but are giving you the chance to sell yourself to them. If you were to disappear, they would not care.
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