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If she cared about her kids she wouldve had them with her husband. Now she can go find the kids real father. He cared about both her and the kids. She cared about herself only. If she loved him she wouldntve cheated. And dont give me that ' women cheat for different reasons' BS either. If she didnt want kids by another man she couldve prevented it. Its her fault. He only wanted honesty. She failed at that. These are facts. I only blame him for not testing the first time.
Dewdrop93. As to your comments You say it will never happen to me thats what he obviously thought ... look what happened ............. So its OK to take the money from the poor assumed father who maybe has to to struggle or even work round the clock ..... Who is the one being punished then .. .. he should get back every dime and then some and go get the real fathers and make then pay up ... The mother choose this path its all her doing and fraud is punishable by law so why did she not go to jail ...lesser crimes have jail terms .
Dewdrop 93. I hear you but ...Its the females choice is to sleep around and get pregnant then lie and deceive the partner she is with as he is not the father ,100%she deserves all she gets .. ..it would be the female that chooses to bring the child into the web she weaves and on her head be it .. the man is not to blame as so many point out women have the control in all these situations ..if she chooses to lie and deceive be prepared to face what follows .. let's face it you gotta be heartless cow to do this to your children .......
I do feel very sorry the kids they have a heartless mother .. its all her doing .. who knows if she came clean at birth ..or if the other bloke was single she prob would have been playing happy family with there dads and he could have been in his own family happy
Dewdrop93. As to your comments You say it will never happen to me thats what he obviously thought ... look what happened ............. So its OK to take the money from the poor assumed father who maybe has to to struggle or even work round the clock ..... Who is the one being punished then .. .. he should get back every dime and then some and go get the real fathers and make then pay up ... The mother choose this path its all her doing and fraud is punishable by law so why did she not go to jail ...lesser crimes have jail terms .
My whole point is that two wrongs do not make a right. Yes - she did something unthinkable. And no - it's not okay that she deceived the "father" and took his money. BUT - he raised those children for years and years. I don't see how someone can simply turn off the love they feel for children that they raised - no matter if they are yours or not. And in terms of jail time - like I said - this comes down to adultery. Do you really want jail sentences for adultery?
As for me knowing that this will not happen to me - are you so sure that he always thought that? Obviously - he doubted her enough to get a paternity test - even if it was years later. I said this in another thread - and I'm not trying to blame the victim - but were they really NO warning signs at all? NO red flags? I just can't imagine that to be the case.
Dewdrop93. As to your comments You say it will never happen to me thats what he obviously thought ... look what happened ............. So its OK to take the money from the poor assumed father who maybe has to to struggle or even work round the clock ..... Who is the one being punished then .. .. he should get back every dime and then some and go get the real fathers and make then pay up ... The mother choose this path its all her doing and fraud is punishable by law so why did she not go to jail ...lesser crimes have jail terms .
The law, at least in the states, follows presumed fatherhood. For all practical purposes if a child is born within a marriage the husband is presumed father. If you have raised that child as your own and acted as father, you are techically the father and as such are required to pay child support. So technically there is no fraud and adultry is not a crime. People cheat and lie and keep secrets, men and women. I dont think we really want to start jailing people for adultry or cheating on ones girlfriend. Do you?
Now, in this situation, he did not go after reimbursment for the back child support or fraud, he was suing for bereavement benefits.
The law, at least in the states, follows presumed fatherhood. For all practical purposes if a child is born within a marriage the husband is presumed father. If you have raised that child as your own and acted as father, you are techically the father and as such are required to pay child support. So technically there is no fraud and adultry is not a crime. People cheat and lie and keep secrets, men and women. I dont think we really want to start jailing people for adultry or cheating on ones girlfriend. Do you?
Now, in this situation, he did not go after reimbursment for the back child support or fraud, he was suing for bereavement benefits.
And he was suing for bereavement benefits because he suddenly considered himself no longer their father. He was the one who tossed the relationship out the window by his actions. His actions said it all.
It's funny this thread is still going. I actually mentioned it to my man, and his thoughts were that while the woman is a sleazy beyotch for cheating (and I agree), and he could understand the man being livid and upset (as can I), the man "was a dick about it" with respect to his change in perspective regarding the kids. Basically, at that late juncture, yes, he was their father. He raised them. That's what should have been the most important thing to him when it came to them.
Of course its not her fault. She didnt know what she was doing. Its not like shes an adult or anything. Doesnt matter how many times she cheats and has kids with other men he should be a man......enough sarcasm. Adultery should be crime. Who know what the hell she couldve caught and gave to him. Her fault not his. Just because others do it doesnt make it ok. Normalizing situations like this is sick. His life was a big lie. All divorce hurt kids its the nature of the beast. He "fault" was wanting the truth. Using kids a guilt device is horrible and she shouldve thought about that. It wasnt an accident. It was a plan for her to sleep around and to make the husband pay. Plus the kids hate him anyway so oh well. Hes not a dick she is. The kids father should care for them but apparently hes off the hook.
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