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Best thing you can do is be honest and part your ways. You guys will end up hating each other for a while and not talk for years maybe. Youll find another BF for a while. Then youll reconnect on a good note and find out he has a GF and you will snake your way back into his pants and hes gonna cheat on another girl.
Can this relationship still work out? He cheated 7 months ago but I'm still hurt about it. He has shown remorse and does wants this to work.
Now here is a different issue: At some point, I reconnected with an old high school crush (Joseph) online but then we started talking more often. Anyways I didn't have sex but did some other things and this happened just last month. Though I like him, I'm going to work on my relationship. He doesn't know and will never find out. Joseph knows the situation too but won't tell and yes we're still talking on facebook sometimes. Though we've made it clear there won't be any intimate contact no more, just as friends.
I still love him but I'm still hurting at the same time. I keep wondering why he didn't have any self-control if he claims to loving me.
I'm still having a hard time getting over everything I imagine he did with the other woman. Sometimes it makes me not even want to kiss him. Currently, I'm making him work on getting my trust back.
If your bf/gf cheats on you, but then somehow you both decided to work out but you cheat back, do they even deserve to know this? I'm really not planning on saying a word about this Joseph thing. Like mentioned at least I didn't went all the way with him.
Your putting your poor bf through hell to gain your trust back and you cheated too? That's messed up!! How would he feel if he knew you cheated? If you couldn't get over the fact he cheated on you, you shouldn't have continued the relationship......if you want to be with him then give him a break. Accept hes sorry and move past the whole cheating situation it's has been 7 months & if you can't move past it then break up.
I understand. Cheating is the one thing that will make me lose it. I'd be tempted to show him how it feels too. I'm not sure things can be repaired after cheating has occurred and still remain in love with him but you can definitely stay together. I've seen many couples do it things were never the same though. Less happiness for both.
Edit: I amend my statement. I've seen really old couples who are bored to death with each other but have been together forever improve their relationship after cheating.
Correct. We're still chatting on facebook. Though I created a different user name there so my bf doesn't see it. He doesn't know I have a different hotmail email too.
I guess this is with us. I'm would never be dumb to leave an inbox open nor communicate on the account my bf knows and at least Joseph is trusted (he would never rat me out, we used to get along too as friend in high school though he fell the same way towards me back then).
This is a problem right here. If you feel the need to make a fake facebook page and hotmail account you need to end your relationship. He cheated and feels "remorse" and ya'll are trying to work it out, but you are creating this seperate life behind his back. The saying hell hath no fury like a woman scorned was coined for you. If I found out my wife was doing this she would be my ex.
Just because he cheated and didn't tell you doesn't make it anymore right that you went and Did (Almost) the same thing. I really don't see the difference. One was done with less self control and the other wasn't done for any reason but simply mad. I cannot really tell what's worse. It sounds like both of you just simply need a break or a vacation.
I totaslly agree...don't you dare tell him! THere's no point to. For some reason, men could cheat & some women might forgive them for whatever reason (I sure as hell wouldn't). Then, if the woman cheats, the man will NEVER let her forget it & hold it over her head, even though she did the same thing he did. Men are just different creatures.
I'm not speaking from exprience, that's just what I've seen & heard.
"Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company."
"He's sniffing for something better, and when he doesn't find it, he gets lonely and comes "home." It's not that he's so into you. It's that he's so not into being alone. Don't give him the chance to break up with you for the fourth time. (Even the idea of it sounds beneath you, doesn't it?) Reset your breakup maximum to one and move on."
(both quotes from Greg Behrendt)
You're situation is way more simple than what you are making it out to be: dump both guys. Good luck!
Didn't your mom ever say: Two wrongs don't make a right". How can any relationship work if one person makes a mistake, hurts their partner, and then the one who is hurt gets to do something back to hurt the other. Its like two fighters in a boxing ring. There would be nothing but constant back and forth war. That's your idea of a loving relationship? I always tell people that are contemplating marriage, that there is a lot to forgive in marriage. If you're not ready to forgive mistakes and shortcomings, your marriage will not last very long.
However, I will also add that since he cheated on you, the smart move is to just end your relationship before you get married.
But Joseph and I have made it clear that we're just going to be friends from now on and none of this is going to happen again. Besides my bf didn't even tell me about his cheating. I had to find out not only from the girl but also from an inbox he left open on his hotmail account.
If he didn't confess, then I don't know why should I tell about my this little incident. Maybe if he has tell me himself then I would do the same.
I am sorry but you guys cannot be friends. You are one drink or weak moment away from banging him.
Joseph is wanting to get into your pants, but is too much a pansy to tell you what he wants, so he will sit there waiting for your weak moment.
Correct. We're still chatting on facebook. Though I created a different user name there so my bf doesn't see it. He doesn't know I have a different hotmail email too.
He quit cheating....you still are.
...but keep rationalizing. It's what people like to do.
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