Why does it seem only single moms like nice guys? (attract, people)
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Yes, I've figured it out now that younger women like bad boys and older women like nice guys.
Am I just being cynical or do nice guys really always finish last? It seems logic doesn't tie into female psychology in our society until about the age of 35. Unfortunately, by that time, they've already been divorced and dropped out a couple of kids. There must be something about postpartum or pre-menopause that finally triggers all the neurotransmitters to the rational parts of their brains. Then there are those like my older sister who's 40 and never get it. I keep wondering how many sticks of dynamite I'll have to blast into her ears before her thick head finally clears up.So why is it only single moms are attracted to me when I'm thinking with the bigger head? I imagine their stupidity is how they wound up being single moms in the first place. Do I need to travel to the Far East and find a traditional Oriental girl? Do I need to go out and start robbing liquor stores and get a tattoo saying, "Born to Lose" across my chest? Or will I have to wait until I'm 50 until all the women in my dating pool have grown kids?
If you don't want a single mom as a potential romantic partner, there isn't anything wrong with that. You will always be #2. And there will always be issues to deal with that are not there with a partner with no children. It IS a different life. That being said, MANY people over 30 have children, and it is something you may have to accept if you struggle dating women without children.
A week or two ago there was an interesting thread on this forum. It was about nice guys or attractive qualities in a man that women look for. Something REALLY interesting to me was mentioned:
Being 'nice' or 'good' itself isn't an attractive quality. If you are a man, and all people have to say about you is "He is a nice guy," then you need to bring MORE to the table. Be funny. Be witty. Be smart. Be stylish. Be rich. But being nice, or nicer than the next person doesn't really attract the opposite sex. I think that is why young women aren't very attracted to nice. Nice by itself is BORING. That doesn't give permission to be a jerk, but BE MORE THAN JUST NICE.
Really good point. Is being nice all they have going for them? And I don't even mean are they good looking and/or have a good job. I mean do they have interests, are they fun to talk to, do they like to do interesting things? Maybe a guy would be okay dating a woman who was a big dull dud as long as she was really hot. But I don't want to date a guy who the ONLY thing he seems to have going for him is being nice.
Exactly. Nice is the bare minimum of personality traits. One of those Cracked.com lists said something like describing yourself as nice is like reading a movie review that says "this movie is in English and features actors." Sure, that's what you want in a movie, but it doesn't exactly make you want to run out and spend $12 on it and nominate it for Oscars.
If you don't want a single mom as a potential romantic partner, there isn't anything wrong with that. You will always be #2. And there will always be issues to deal with that are not there with a partner with no children. It IS a different life. That being said, MANY people over 30 have children, and it is something you may have to accept if you struggle dating women without children.
A week or two ago there was an interesting thread on this forum. It was about nice guys or attractive qualities in a man that women look for. Something REALLY interesting to me was mentioned:
Being 'nice' or 'good' itself isn't an attractive quality. If you are a man, and all people have to say about you is "He is a nice guy," then you need to bring MORE to the table. Be funny. Be witty. Be smart. Be stylish. Be rich. But being nice, or nicer than the next person doesn't really attract the opposite sex. I think that is why young women aren't very attracted to nice. Nice by itself is BORING. That doesn't give permission to be a jerk, but BE MORE THAN JUST NICE.
It's very simple. Nice guys think that the way to attract someone is to be a "people pleaser." Logically this should work. I mean, when you go to a restauant and the waiter goes out of his way to please you he gets a big tip.
But what nice guys have to figure out is that the dating world does not run on a transactional basis. This can be tough if you were raised to be a nice guy with the expectation of getting something but once you change this mind set the world starts opening up to you.
Yes, I've figured it out now that younger women like bad boys and older women like nice guys. Younger women are stupid enough to think the bad boys are going to be providers and they'll be able to ride around town on the bad boys' Harley showing them off to their girlfriends making them jealous.Just yesterday, I turned down a woman who expressed interest in me. She's a single mother with two kids. First of all, I'm not keen on raising someone else's kids or being a second stringer in the relationship, and I sure as hell don't want to deal with her ex-husband when he gets out of prison.I tried hooking up with her 5 years ago, but she gave me that whole speech "Well you're a really nice guy, but I'm just not that into you." Then she got involved with some dip**** with a criminal record a mile long thinking she could fix him. I told her he was no good for her, but then she didn't listen. So now she wants me now that she can't find another man! Yeah!Now she wants me because she doesn't have a male role model for kids, and her boyfriend is an assclown. I told her, "Sorry, Honey! You had your chance and you blew it." I know that sounds calloused, but I think I just gave legitimate reasons not to get involved with her. I'm not crazy about kids, so I'm actually doing her a favor.Am I just being cynical or do nice guys really always finish last? It seems logic doesn't tie into female psychology in our society until about the age of 35. Unfortunately, by that time, they've already been divorced and dropped out a couple of kids. There must be something about postpartum or pre-menopause that finally triggers all the neurotransmitters to the rational parts of their brains. Then there are those like my older sister who's 40 and never get it. I keep wondering how many sticks of dynamite I'll have to blast into her ears before her thick head finally clears up.So why is it only single moms are attracted to me when I'm thinking with the bigger head? I imagine their stupidity is how they wound up being single moms in the first place. Do I need to travel to the Far East and find a traditional Oriental girl? Do I need to go out and start robbing liquor stores and get a tattoo saying, "Born to Lose" across my chest? Or will I have to wait until I'm 50 until all the women in my dating pool have grown kids?
If you still have that attitude by the time your 50 you still wont be getting the dates.
Its obvious that young people, being newbies and inexperienced, full of raging hormones and having a different views and goals are going to make different decission that people that are older, more mature and are at a different point in their life. As we go thru life much changes. Notice I say PEOPLE becuause its the same in men and women. Its not about "bad boys" or "or nice guys", thats all a bunch of made up BS, its about maturity and growth.
Youll be much more attractive without that chip on your shoulder.
Because they tend to make great providers for them and their children. But the funny part is, alot of these guys don't know that these women would never want them when they were in their primes.
Because they tend to make great providers for them and their children. But the funny part is, alot of these guys don't know that these women would never want them when they were in their primes.
You know every single mom isn't some 19 year old who got pregnant by a drug dealer. Many single mom's are divorced and they married men who most people would say are great guys. Guys with great potential and what many would consider a great catch. Let's not act as if the only guys getting girls or women for that matter pregnant are just so called bad guys. Plenty of good people have kids and things don't work, and they end up being single dads or single moms.
Every girl wants a nice guy in her life. Eventually that is. They'll fuss and fight for years trying to tame an a**hole with little to no success. She'll breed with the bad boy only to sign the divorce papers later on and get custody of the kids. When she's done breeding, the immediate focus of her attention is finding a man who will provide comfort and companionship. Usually in the form of a nice guy. If the nice guy takes on a financial role in the relationship, she's got it made.
The single moms know they can't compete with the youngins for the bad-boy-a**hole-tall-dark-handsomes. Most of these moms don't have the looks anymore to compete, period. The nice guy who she passed over many times before she was a patient herself in the maternity ward is her only option now. Nice guy is the furthest thing physically of what she desires in a man, but she won't avoid him now for the sake of not being alone. Some single moms who've kept their looks still try to compete with the youngins for the a**hole types. She'll do her best to latch on to one nice guy and keep him as close as possible to cheat on him. I know some guys in this situation who are being played by a divorced, single mom. A couple of them left town after exposing her infidelity. One guy I used to work with refuses to leave his cheating wench just because she's good looking and gets all kinds of attention from men.
I've learned my lesson from dating a few of the divorced, separated and newly single moms. If you're not the ideal physical man of her desires, your personality means nothing to her just like the youngins who almost exclusively care about how the bad boys looks contributes to herss. Most of the time the nice guy is just a "passing fancy" or flavour of the week/month/yearly quarter until she finds what she wants.
Have fun, but be careful gentleman.
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