No sex after marriage, is it a reason for divorce (date, long-term)
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My wife had severe endometriosis and fibroids for almost 5 years, starting about 1 year after we were married. My sex drive was very high. Less than at least once per day seemed like a drought in my mind. Slowly, she was less and less able to endure sex because of severe pain during intercourse. She still toughed it out occasionally to keep me from doing completely without, but I am positive there were at least 3 or 4 times where I went at least 3 months without sex.
I never once considered leaving her or fooling around, even though she had made a couple of hints that she could understand me wanting to find someone else for sex. I knew she didn't truly mean it, she just felt guilty for not being able to give me what I wanted. After 2 surgeries that offered very temporary relief, she finally had a hysterectomy. Recovery was a bit slow as the surgery was last February. But now, WOW!!!! She is doing completely fine, no blackout dates, and my dreams of at least once per day are almost reality now.
Honestly I would have been the biggest idiot ever had I chosen to get some elsewhere and risk our marriage.
I don't beleive you are the norm at all, but there's exceptions to every rule. Even so, you were already signed up with this woman. You think the average man is going to even bother signing up for a woman with these issues in the first place, if told 'sex could be off the menu for the next 5 years?' LOL. Yea right. They are going to move on the next one without this kind of issue, I don't care how 'great and nice' she is.
edit: I read your rep and again, even if that's true, MOST would never bother in the first place. You're the exception to the rule then; if you read enough on here you will see most of these men wouldn't date a woman with a mental problem, physical problem, 'grooming' problem -- let alone 17 medications and no sex for several years. Be for real.
Last edited by Doll Eyes; 02-06-2013 at 12:53 PM..
Like so many questions, I have a hard time just giving a pat answer.
How many conditions preclude intercourse and oral sex, forever? Coma? Something where the muscles spasm so badly that a woman could never be penetrated in any way? And how many of these vanishingly few scenarios are likely to last decades, where the partner never passes away or heals? Even in a man lost his sex organ altogether (incredibly rare,) he can still pleasure his wife, and obviously he is up the creek with or without marriage.
I find the notion of prioritizing a want (because yes, ejaculating inside of an orifice is a want, your hand functions well enough to fill the need, and intimacy can happen without sex) over the vows that you took.
My wife had severe endometriosis and fibroids for almost 5 years, starting about 1 year after we were married. My sex drive was very high. Less than at least once per day seemed like a drought in my mind. Slowly, she was less and less able to endure sex because of severe pain during intercourse. She still toughed it out occasionally to keep me from doing completely without, but I am positive there were at least 3 or 4 times where I went at least 3 months without sex.
I never once considered leaving her or fooling around, even though she had made a couple of hints that she could understand me wanting to find someone else for sex. I knew she didn't truly mean it, she just felt guilty for not being able to give me what I wanted. After 2 surgeries that offered very temporary relief, she finally had a hysterectomy. Recovery was a bit slow as the surgery was last February. But now, WOW!!!! She is doing completely fine, no blackout dates, and my dreams of at least once per day are almost reality now.
Honestly I would have been the biggest idiot ever had I chosen to get some elsewhere and risk our marriage.
About 8 million women in North America have endometriosis, and there are plenty of awesome men like you who understand it and stick by them. In fact, there are entire support groups made of these men, under the concept of "mendo," or men who love women who have endometriosis.
There are workarounds, too, going back to the notion that sex is more than intercourse. There are other ways to please a man.
About 8 million women in North America have endometriosis, and there are plenty of awesome men like you who understand it and stick by them. In fact, there are entire support groups made of these men, under the concept of "mendo," or men who love women who have endometriosis.
There are workarounds, too, going back to the notion that sex is more than intercourse. There are other ways to please a man.
Really? how many of these types of men have you met that would voluntarily start dating a woman who is on 17 medications, with endometriosis and possibly couldn't have sex for 5 years?? LOL. Are you trying to say you think this guy is representative of what MOST men would sign up for?
About 8 million women in North America have endometriosis, and there are plenty of awesome men like you who understand it and stick by them. In fact, there are entire support groups made of these men, under the concept of "mendo," or men who love women who have endometriosis.
There are workarounds, too, going back to the notion that sex is more than intercourse. There are other ways to please a man.
you can count me in as on of those guys who was willing to stick around. I had a relationship with a woman who had endometriosis. Sometimes it sucked, most of the time it wasn't a big deal.
Most of the time I do not beleive some of the things I read on here, but I will stop short of calling people outright liars but I'm sorry, most of these men claiming they will exclusively date and even marry a woman with the above circumstances mentioned, but NOT a woman who has controllable grooming issues -- are downright liars. Plain and simple.
Really? how many of these types of men have you met that would voluntarily start dating a woman who is on 17 medications, with endometriosis and possibly couldn't have sex for 5 years?? LOL. Are you trying to say you think this guy is representative of what MOST men would sign up for?
DE, I'm not sure if you missed the first part of his post:
Quote:
My wife had severe endometriosis and fibroids for almost 5 years, starting about 1 year after we were married.
So, unless I'm reading it incorrectly, the diagnosis was made after they got married. As to your point, though, there are some men that would willingly enter a LTR/marriage with someone who has medical issues. Don't be so quick to disparage the entire species--there are a few of us who are deserving of some merit.
DE, I'm not sure if you missed the first part of his post:
So, unless I'm reading it incorrectly, the diagnosis was made after they got married. As to your point, though, there are some men that would willingly enter a LTR/marriage with someone who has medical issues. Don't be so quick to disparage the entire species--there are a few of us who are deserving of some merit.
--Dim
In my most recent posts I was referring to the statements (partly made in rep comment) by the poster named 'txoutdoors,' not the OP.
This is where the 'power of positive thinking' starts taking the form of bullsh*tting. People are obviously not being realistic while considering the sheer number of men a woman would have to go through to even find ONE willing to consider her with the previous mentioned situation. Even so if there are "some men" obviously there are judging from 'TXoutdoors,' this idea being perpetuated here that there's just tons of men chomping at the bit to be with a woman with these issues when it's been admitted most of them wouldn't even bother with a woman with 'grooming issues,' is both preposterous and hilarious.....Also, there's a regular female poster who has dating issues due to her long term health problem and I don't beleive she's on anywhere near the number of medications of 'txoutdoors' wife.
DE, I'm not sure if you missed the first part of his post:
So, unless I'm reading it incorrectly, the diagnosis was made after they got married. As to your point, though, there are some men that would willingly enter a LTR/marriage with someone who has medical issues. Don't be so quick to disparage the entire species--there are a few of us who are deserving of some merit.
--Dim
Which is the point of this thread, actually. The title of the thread is "No sex after MARRIAGE, is it a reason for DIVORCE."
Regardless, there are plenty of men who fall in love with and stand by women who have health issues. I've dealt with some of the issues mentioned in this thread myself, and that did not deter anyone I've had a relationship with, my ex-husband, or my current man.
Perhaps that's because I attract good men who see me as more than a collection of holes. Must be my grace and charm.
DE, I'm not sure if you missed the first part of his post:
So, unless I'm reading it incorrectly, the diagnosis was made after they got married. As to your point, though, there are some men that would willingly enter a LTR/marriage with someone who has medical issues. Don't be so quick to disparage the entire species--there are a few of us who are deserving of some merit.
--Dim
His was a worse experience than mine, but I had a LTR with someone who was already diagnosed with it before I dated her, and I already knew she had it.
I went I think 2 months in that relationship once without sex, because she also had other medical issues that she went through surgery for. I still saw her several times a week even when she couldn't leave her house. I wasn't worried about the sex, I just wanted her to recover.
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