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I had a relationship with my ex for 4 and a half years. At the beginning it was so okay we were both having a good time. But as it goes on it has become boring as most relationship are, we had our ups and downs but i still feel we were genuinely in love and i was gonna marry this girl and we both feel committed for the future. Then one day we had a heated argument which i initiated and ask her for a break up. It was really stupid of me to do it but i felt like i was disrespected and mistreated by her and got so heat up at the moment that's why i did it. After a few hours i realized how stupid of a move that was and how much i've hurt her. So i tried to apologize to her but she stands firm on the break-up. I've tried to apologize again the following days, texting, chatting, calling, and surprising her but she was rather mad. She ask for 10 days of no contact and after that she says we could work things out right from the beginning, starting as friends. After the 10th day, i've reach to her again but she says she has made up her mind and wants a permanent break-up. I tried to plead/beg, even cried in front of her to give me a chance but she wasn't interested in me anymore. She told me that she doesn't want someone with no self esteem, weak, and she so stressed with the relationship. After a few weeks of trying to beg for her she says she's not ready for a relationship yet. I tried to contact her cousins/friends and tried to surprise her again but she got more mad, now she's also mad with them. She ask for freedom and wants nothing out of me and told me that the reason why she won't give me a chance is that she enjoys being single, she's free to choose whoever she wants, and she's the happiest now that i'm gone. The sad part is that she says she wants someone else, one of her suttors, someone very opposite to me. It's only been 5 weeks since the breakup, i communicated her yesterday, and she still wants to be free for that would make her happy. So i tell her that i'm letting her go for the last time. I don't know what to do now i so want her back still but i don't want to beg anymore. I must admit i got complacent with the relationship, i got a little fat, i got over jealous at times but the night before the fight we were so okay, at least in my part, we had a party with her cousins and it was a blast. Please help, i'm torn between moving on and reconciliation. I still love her but she won't give me chance.
First off, white space is your friend! One big giant blurb like that is very hard to read. Try breaking it into smaller paragraphs and it will be much easier on the eyes.
In response to your problem, I would guess that your girlfriend was probably unhappy on some level. Happy/healthy couples have arguments, even saying things from a reactionary and emotionally charged frame of mind that they don't mean. It's good to be slow to speak. Whatever it was that you started that argument over, it may have been the moment she was waiting for if she was unwilling to move toward reconciling once the storm blew over. Her "10 days of no contact" was probably her way of putting off giving you a hard answer until she could get her feet underneath her, emotionally speaking. If she is unwilling to take you back, you've answered your own question. It may be time for you to move on.
Begging will only make things worse. The only thing left to do is to let her see you living your life well. And if you do that she may come back but even if she doesn't, you should, with time, be able to move on.
thanks for the quick response guys.is there any advice you can give me to try win her back? This sounds impossible but i'm really desperate here. I just can't give up the woman i love for more than for years just like that. I am head over heels still in love with her and i'm really gonna marry her if ever i got the chance to get back together. I am an idiot for doing what i did, i probably has anger management issues. But I apologize so many times and she said she's not angry with me anymore, she just doesn't want to give me another go. I've never been this heartbroken because i've never loved this much. Please guys, help me here.
--Your best move is to move on, shape up, get your act together, and start talking/seeing/dating other women. It's amazing how an ex suddenly changes his/her mind when they see/hear others wanting their ex. Just like it's happening to you know.
--You need to understand that all these new guys and potential relationships she is evaluating are just rebound material. Believe it or not, she is still thinking of you, and at times comparing these new interests to you, and more specifically the depths of her love and emotions for you. So it's temporary.
--Time heals wounds and sometimes these break ups make a relationship stronger. Who knows, in 2-3-6months or more, you guys may reconnect after realizing what you have lost.
--Obviously, there were some relationship issues you guys had. Review and re-examine those issues and try to think about what you will do differently. Hard to do at first because you are still dealing with the fog of the break up, but really put some though and energy in figuring it out what wrong, like doing a journal or talking to others about key issues/problems. Who knows, may you will discover you reasons for break up were justified and after you get over the heart ache, you may accept what occur, or maybe prepared to see how you could handle different.
Just be committed to grow from this experience. I have a belief that everyone I open my heart up to comes into my life for a reason, and if it doesn't work out, I am committed to being a better partner next time.... and it just may be with her again.
Good Luck and take care of yourself, i.e., hit the gym, run, be a new you.
Is English not your first language? Because you have some serious grammar and spelling errors.
Word of advice, if it's been 5 weeks and you aren't back together yet, it's over. Move on. You made your decision, now live with it.
Yes, Its not. Its my third language. So pardon me poor the poor grammar. Than you!
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