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I know three very happily married couples who met on eHarmony, and one couple who met by chance in an online chat room. I've been on eH for a little less than a month, and have been disappointed so far, but I'm not giving up - at least not yet. As one poster said, all it takes is that one match that is the right one.
It does bother me a lot that eH keeps sending me matches who live far outside the geographic limits I set.
You do have to be very careful about whom you communicate with on dating websites. However, when you think about it - it's not much different from "real life," in that anyone can lie to you at any time. It's a trial-and-error, go-with-your-gut-instinct game. It ain't easy, that's for sure. But for some, it is very much worth it in the long run.
This excellent discussion (http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/ - broken link) from okcupid is a must read for anyone checking out the online data scene.
Bottom line: Online dating is good. No one should pay for it.
You have the option of listing it, but I think you can leave it blank. In terms of who you're matched with, I don't recall if there was a way to filter by profession.
You can either list certain characteristics you find attractive about someone and then you list yours and you are matched, right? But you could also simply look at other profiles and click on those who you find interesting and attractive and start from there I guess.
You can either list certain characteristics you find attractive about someone and then you list yours and you are matched, right? But you could also simply look at other profiles and click on those who you find interesting and attractive and start from there I guess.
Nope. One of the drawbacks of eH is that you can NOT look at profiles of anyone other than the matches eH sends to you. If I'd realized that before I'd subscribed, I would not have subscribed.
You can either list certain characteristics you find attractive about someone and then you list yours and you are matched, right? But you could also simply look at other profiles and click on those who you find interesting and attractive and start from there I guess.
No. You can't do searches based on superficial things like hair or eye color, height, etc. People who sign up need to understand the premise of the site. You're matched based on what they call their dimensions of compatibility. I think they're 29. The questions are meant to assess your character, personality, emotional makeup, values etc. and then match you with people who are similar to you, the idea being that people who have these traits in common are more likely to have a lasting relationship than people who are too different. Afterward, you can narrow down your list of matches by age, religion, race, distance, and a couple other things. But the basic idea is that you have to trust their search algorithm to figure out who you're compatible with and keep you from contacting people they think are all wrong for you. The people behind the site understand that people will be more inclined to contact people they're physically attracted to even if that person is a poor match. So the site wants to keep you from making that mistake.
Last edited by DennyCrane; 08-24-2010 at 02:06 PM..
This excellent discussion (http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/ - broken link) from okcupid is a must read for anyone checking out the online data scene.
Bottom line: Online dating is good. No one should pay for it.
That was actually a very interesting discussion and well worth reading.
This excellent discussion (http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/ - broken link) from okcupid is a must read for anyone checking out the online data scene.
Bottom line: Online dating is good. No one should pay for it.
Darn. It's blocked at my workplace. I guess I'll have to read it later. But I think it's important that people realize when you do pay for a service, part of what you're paying for is the filtering of "less-than-serious" people. People who are just looking to play games or who are fake won't sign up for a subscription on match or eharmony, but can easily go to POF.
Nope. One of the drawbacks of eH is that you can NOT look at profiles of anyone other than the matches eH sends to you. If I'd realized that before I'd subscribed, I would not have subscribed.
That is exactly the reason why I never used it. But I have a couple of friends that did, and they are both now married to the fellas they met there. It works...for some.
This excellent discussion (http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/ - broken link) from okcupid is a must read for anyone checking out the online data scene.
Bottom line: Online dating is good. No one should pay for it.
Thanks for the link. I'm on OKCupid, and it's fun. I'm a member of Match.com, and it was wasted money. My subscription ends next month, it's not set to auto-renew, so I'm expecting to get a bunch of "winks" all of a sudden.
On OKC, I get quite a few messages a day. The only downside, and it's been like this with Plenty of Fish, as well, is that the guys that they "match" me with are older than my parents, waaaay too young, or across the world. Today I got a 68 year old man writing me saying I was one of his "Quiver" matches (I do not have a clue how Quiver works!), got some guy in England, and a 19 year old, who has now favorited me, written me twice and tried to IM me on their IM system, but I said I had to go. AND a guy I knew in 5th grade wrote me, LOL. That's not quite a typical day, and definitely a strange one. POF was a little too redneck for me, so I closed my account, but it's free, and I'd recommend it over any of the pay sites, simply because it's free.
Never tried eharmony; I've haven't heard many good things about it. My brother did meet his wife by eharmony.... sort of. He was set up with a woman, they weren't quite a match, but the woman thought he'd be perfect for her friend, and set them up. I guess that could count as a success story?
I met my last two boyfriends online, but not on dating sites.
I won't use eHarmony for personal reasons. Several years ago I had an extremely hateful coworker who spent most of her time at work bashing gays. She once told me she really liked eHarmony because "they don't allow GAY people looking for other GAY people." I told her I would never use it then because I don't believe in discrimination. It shut her up and I have stuck with that decision and will continue to do so! Plus, I don't feel like using online dating sites anymore.
Of course she found someone and got married. Not fair.
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I told her I would never use it then because I don't believe in discrimination. It shut her up and I have stuck with that decision and will continue to do so! Plus, I don't feel like using online dating sites anymore. 
