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I am exactly like you.
I've loved perhaps three men in my entire life (I am in my late 20s). I've dated too many men and I appreciate every single one of them because obviously, they are my learning experiences. I have never slept around and my sex partners have always been my boyfriends. However, commitment is a no no to me. I cannot picture myself being other people's wife or mother.
I think the ISTP test fits me as well, when I say "I do", I definitely mean "I do for now." Life is unpredictable at best. I cannot even committed to a long term cell phone contract.
I bring this up to a man I found online and he told me "Girls like you perhaps will break a lot of hearts." Come to think of it, I have never cheated on anybody and I don't plan on cheating on anybody. I have always been honest with everybody I dated, short term or long term, but I think after a while, men really want me to commit to them. I simply can not.
When I look at my friends' relationships. Some of them are very happy in a committed relationship, some of them stay in the relationship simply because they are afraid of being alone. Some of them cheat on each othehaving sex with your bf only a r and have absolutely no courage to walk out of the relationship. I guess different people have different path in life.
Isn't only shagging your bf a form of commitment? I have a difficult time being sexually faithful. For instance, I had a bit of an oral adventure while out of town recently, despite having a bf. It didn't seem like cheating to me. But he would have disagreed. No matter since we broke up right after that.
Isn't only shagging your bf a form of commitment? I have a difficult time being sexually faithful. For instance, I had a bit of an oral adventure while out of town recently, despite having a bf. It didn't seem like cheating to me. But he would have disagreed. No matter since we broke up right after that.
Could it be that you just haven't met the right person?
I prefer having someone in my life too. That's why I am wondering about this.
Why the short 3/4 month relationships then???
I suppose that is probably long enough to know that you don't want that particular guy.... It seems odd though to meet men and not find anyone compatible since 99, I believe you said it was.... that was a long ass time ago....
Like I posted earlier, some searching may be in order, and a little intellectual honesty with yourself may be the order of the day as well.
I'm about your age, and I think we get to a point in our lives where we start to see the world around us a little more clearly... we also start to see ourselves a bit more clearly as well....
It seems that there are lots of men who don't want commitment, so I would think that a woman who wanted a flexible relationship could easily find a guy to agree to it. But, since you have thought up until now that you wanted a LTR, maybe you do. Maybe your lack of post-breakup sadness is self-protective and does not reflect a desire to be unattached.
I have known women who don't want to be in committed relationships, but they mostly don't date. When I started dating, I initially thought commitment wasn't terribly important to me but found, to my surprise, that I became emotionally attached and vulnerable quickly. I have made more sacrifices for relationship security and stability than I ever imagined I would. So, I have little observational or personal experience with women not wanting commitment but wanting to date.
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