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Look, you started dating in HIGH SCHOOL and are still young adults now - there are going to be "bad habits" to learn about whether or not you can "bear it".
It is simply unrealistic at your age to think otherwise.
You seem willing to have firm boundaries, which is good, BUT, you and he are both still growing up into who you will eventually be.
If you don't think you love him enough to bend and compromise a little to who he is shaping up to be then your fantasy of real love may be causing you to have unrealistic expectations of relationships.
Thanks. I guess I have to learn to be more tolerant. That is a problem I have with people I general. I know I'm judgmental and expect perfection. I have no idea how I ended up being suck a stick in the mud.
Do you think what he did was disrespectful though?
Thanks. I guess I have to learn to be more tolerant. That is a problem I have with people I general. I know I'm judgmental and expect perfection. I have no idea how I ended up being suck a stick in the mud.
Do you think what he did was disrespectful though?
No. I really don't.
You had an issue, you dealt with it - YAY!
That does not mean everyone in your life has to avoid the same issue for the rest of their lives just to "prove" they love you
I think it was an honor for you to even be invited to be out with him and his Buddies.
You have avoided answering what he did that would make you give a look.
I once owned a fancy hot rod car and took an old girlfriend for a ride. When I was just having alittle fun with my car I took off fast and squealed the tires a bit. What came out of her mouth was, "Oh, your cool." (like I wasn't cool) If I wasn't the nice guy I am she would have heard me say, "let's see how cool you look walking."
At any rate...you have to be careful what you do or say as to not offend somebody.
Thanks. I guess I have to learn to be more tolerant. That is a problem I have with people I general. I know I'm judgmental and expect perfection. I have no idea how I ended up being suck a stick in the mud.
Do you think what he did was disrespectful though?
I do want to add though - you are perfectly within your rights to have your own standards, morals and values.
In fact, you should always live by them and not let others sway you from what you feel in your heart is right.
Just know that when you draw lines in the sand you must be prepared to live with the consequences of that.
This is what adults do every day - learn to live with the fall out from their choices, or to make better choices
I can't imagine leaving him but if he is disrespectful that means it isn't love and I should leave him.
We have been together as adults for two years and before that we dated for three years as high school sweethearts. We have known each other for ten years and when we weren't dating we were just friends or living in different cities because of school.
He is the one who pursued me the whole way through and I didn't even want him when he chased after me two and a half years ago.
Now I love him and I can't picture life without him. He has brought up us moving in and maybe relocating to a new city together. He has even said he thinks I'm the one but I know some guys say that just to get more action.
I just can't bear to learn about horrible habits now, I feel like I'm in too deep.
OP, not sure why you didn't just say this in your OP rather than telling me through a rep:
"he smoked a smokeless ciggarette that contains nicotine. I did not know he did this. We both quit smoking years ago. I wasn't sure if he was hiding this from me. All of his buddies were doing it too"
I don't know how to answer to this. For me, this isn't the end of the world. If you feel he's hiding more serious things then I suggest you sit with him and have a conversation.
OP, not sure why you didn't just say this in your OP rather than telling me through a rep:
"he smoked a smokeless ciggarette that contains nicotine. I did not know he did this. We both quit smoking years ago. I wasn't sure if he was hiding this from me. All of his buddies were doing it too"
I don't know how to answer to this. For me, this isn't the end of the world. If you feel he's hiding more serious things then I suggest you sit with him and have a conversation.
Hmmm, and she said she "shot him a look."
The image I'm getting is of a woman issuing an eyeball reprimand like one would do with unruly children in a restaurant, which I would find to be more disrespectful on her part than on his. He's an adult, and she's not his mother. Maybe he shouldn't have whined about it publicly, but honestly? There's no need to shoot someone any looks over something like that. It's not like he said something insulting to or about her in front of his friends. He just did something she didn't expect, and personally didn't like. The time to bring it up is at home, and even then, it's to express surprise, not wag a finger.
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