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I am in a succesful relationship with a woman. The woman I chose from many who were interested.
And does she model all the behaviors that you claim "women" engage in? [Edit] The reason I ask is because what you describe as the behavior of a "woman" I describe as the behavior of an idiotic drama queen of any gender.
Mod cut: Orphaned. It's a very simple concept: You don't get to decide whether the reason someone else is upset is "legitimate." Just because something wouldn't upset you, that doesn't mean other people don't have a right to be upset about it.
Funny, you feel you can tell people what you want to tell people, but when others tell you what they want to tell you, suddenly it's "psycho ranting." Sounds like you're just as desperate to control others and get the last word in as the OP.
No, I just enjoy logical and rational way of debating. If I say "Based on what OP says, she is being manipulative and faking certain emotions" and someone responds to it by saying "who are you to decide if she is faking certain emotions" I think its pretty rational to call it a psycho rant. No big deal, im used to it.
And does she model all the behaviors that you claim "women" engage in? [Edit] The reason I ask is because what you describe as the behavior of a "woman" I describe as the behavior of an idiotic drama queen of any gender.
At times, but i know very well how to respond, because Im not blind.
OP, I don't know how old you are or how old your GF is. BUT, I know when I was in my early 20's, I used to stew over the dumbest things. I am now embarrassed at how ridiculous my overreactions were. Mind you, I didn't throw a temper tantrum, I would just stew.
At the end of the day, I was only ruining my own fun.
So what worked? First, acknowledge that the person is upset/angry. Say you don't blame them for not liking the situation, but ask them if they really think the situation is worth ruining an entire afternoon/evening. Apologize if you need to and then move on. Don't let the mood spread to you.
Often, my husband would get angry that I was angry. Then I'd get angry that he had the nerve to get angry when I had FULL rights to my anger. What made me feel ridiculous and stupid is if he went on his merry way and let me stew by myself. (All this didn't mean we were incompatible or that I was a drama queen - I just didn't know how to be productive about my anger. Very silly and glad it's in the past.)
OP, I don't know how old you are or how old your GF is. BUT, I know when I was in my early 20's, I used to stew over the dumbest things. I am now embarrassed at how ridiculous my overreactions were. Mind you, I didn't throw a temper tantrum, I would just stew.
At the end of the day, I was only ruining my own fun.
So what worked? First, acknowledge that the person is upset/angry. Say you don't blame them for not liking the situation, but ask them if they really think the situation is worth ruining an entire afternoon/evening. Apologize if you need to and then move on. Don't let the mood spread to you.
Often, my husband would get angry that I was angry. Then I'd get angry that he had the nerve to get angry when I had FULL rights to my anger. What made me feel ridiculous and stupid is if he went on his merry way and let me stew by myself. (All this didn't mean we were incompatible or that I was a drama queen - I just didn't know how to be productive about my anger. Very silly and glad it's in the past.)
Ok, if you want to be with an idiot drama queen, you have fun with that. I cannot imagine why you would.
Maybe she can suck the chrome off a tailpipe, which is what I suggested about the OP's girlfriend, as well.
But it also occurs to me that maybe idiot drama queens are the only kind of women men with the need to try to control others can get.
Many of us, myself included, have told the OP to end the relationship. I mean, you'd have to be an idiot, yourself, to stay in a relationship with someone who annoys you as much as the OP says his girlfriend annoys him. But maybe his girlfriend is the only woman who will put up with him, so he is bound and determined to try to change her to his liking.
The best outcome is her behavior/mood is corrected and the original, happy atmosphere between us is restored. She sort of wins if I just sit in silence because she has successfully derailed the good time we were having.
It doesn't sound like she was having much of a good time. If trying to talk her out of a bad mood makes things worse, turning up the music and focusing on the road sounds like a better idea.
Good relationships aren't about winning and losing. If you feel like you have to "win" with her, you two probably aren't compatible.
You've made so many posts outlining the problems in your relationship....why do you stay?
Because he's needy, and wants to control her, discipline her test her, correct her behaviour, train her to change her behaviour like Pavlov's dog, create scenarios to manipulate her into behaving how he wants/condition her to respond.
His posts talk about her feelings/moods/outbursts but little indication of what caused any of them (i.e. HIM). Throw in the fact that there may be language and cultural barriers. And with all of this, he still won't break up with her because she's Vietnamese and perhaps more easily swayed by his needy and controlling behaviours and he doesn't desire American women because they wouldn't put up with it the way she does...
Maybe she can suck the chrome off a tailpipe, which is what I suggested about the OP's girlfriend, as well.
Women who aren't idiot drama queens can't suck the chrome off a tailpipe?
Quote:
But it also occurs to me that maybe idiot drama queens are the only kind of women men with the need to try to control others can get.
It is certainly not a dynamic I would choose. This "women's logic" makes me crack up. My husband says I have the mind of a robot, and don't you dare get all emotional with me. I will logic you out of it. But clearly "women" aren't like that. LOL!
I think different people who expect and desire different dynamics attract each other. Macho I Am Man, I Can Handle Women types will naturally attract idiot drama queens who, I suppose, need such handling. I suppose that if that is what Ascension has attracted, he might have his head in a pillow and not know that anyone else is out there. Automaton brain women like me attract reasonable men who can think, like to be even keeled and can solve problems with thinking and talking.
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