Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I bet if you had the low standards that most women have, you could get 7 lined up.
I was only half serious with that post tbh. I couldn't care less about having a line up of women. All I want is one woman that makes me happy, and whom I could make happy in return.
She has 7 guys lined up and I even called it in one of my 3 reasons, most guys can get a 6th sense of this and will back off or break it off. That's a really low place for a guy to be. There is no good way for that conversation to go, "hey you are competiting against 6 other guys and your doing pretty good, keep it up and you might get another kiss ", no thank you pass.
Highlife, after I kissed this guy, we kinda had a "where do we go from here" talk and he explicitly said HE was going to keep dating other women and had NO intentions to break it off with any of them. He also said that he wasn't having sex until he was in a monogamous relationship with whomever he ends up choosing. It's not like I'm the only one seeing other people. I have no idea just how many women he's seeing, nor do I want to know. And I'm not telling him how many guys I'm seeing. But we're both on the same page that we're going to continue to date others for now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones
@Highlife and Moe:
I bet if you had the low standards that most women have, you could get 7 lined up.
I'm not sure if you're referring to me, but I do not have low standards. Actually, the reason I'm still single is because I've settled in the past. But, settling has never worked for me because eventually I become unhappy and need to move on. So I'm GOING OUT OF MY WAY to make sure that doesn't happen again. Since I've been online dating for the past 2 months or so, I've had 25-30 guys attempt to establish a connection, but only 7 have gotten through because I'm trying to be picky but not SO picky that no one is good enough. But my standards have not been low/lowered. I'm not saying yes to any guy who asks me out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones
It makes sense to not kiss until you are seeing only each other.
Why are you concerned that he is going to not believe what you tell him? If you tell him you are not cheating on anyone, and that you find him attractive, why would he not believe that? And why would you want to date someone with whom you have so little rapport?
If you look at all the responses people have had in this thread alone (I'm crazy to think 2 dates is too soon, I must be cheating on a bf, etc.), you'll see why I'm concerned he won't believe me. If strangers on the internet don't believe me (and I have zero reason to lie to strangers online about my situation) what makes me think that the guy who's emotionally invested is going to believe me? I also feel that if I were in his shoes, *I* would find it fishy if one date he wants to kiss and then all of a sudden he doesn't. So, I can appreciate where he might be coming from.
I feel like he and I have rapport. Out of all the guys I've seen online, I like him the most so far. But two dates is not enough to establish the amount of rapport I need to be physical with someone.
I'm super new to online dating (I've only dated people I've known for a while in the past), so I'm really just feeling my way around and learning how this all works as well as learning about myself. If someone had asked me if I felt comfortable kissing someone on a 2nd date, I wouldn't have been able to tell them because I didn't know. Now I know.
Right now, I am dating 4 guys I've met online and have 3 more that have asked for dates.
See, now this is a very helpful description if you expect us to give you accurate advice. Clearly 1) you are hot 2) you are aware you are hot.
Now lets move on from there. You made out with this guy on the 2nd date. Nobody touched anybody's naughty place. (seriously, did you really say that?) He texted you to say the kisses were magical and the sex would be amazing. He aint waiting for a monogamous relationship. He lied.
He texted that to see if you are thinking boink on the 3rd date, cuz if you are not, he probably doesn't want to waste his time with you. I know a ton of guys who, after buying dinner the 3rd time, want to boink. Yes, boink. The whole enchilada. Boink you. Your sister. Your neighbor. You name it. Men crave variety. He is probably dating 4 women he met online and has asked 3 more out.
I'd get used to it if I were you. And if you cannot handle it? Convent ====> Thatta way.
Highlife, after I kissed this guy, we kinda had a "where do we go from here" talk and he explicitly said HE was going to keep dating other women and had NO intentions to break it off with any of them. He also said that he wasn't having sex until he was in a monogamous relationship with whomever he ends up choosing. It's not like I'm the only one seeing other people. I have no idea just how many women he's seeing, nor do I want to know. And I'm not telling him how many guys I'm seeing. But we're both on the same page that we're going to continue to date others for now.
I'm not sure if you're referring to me, but I do not have low standards. Actually, the reason I'm still single is because I've settled in the past. But, settling has never worked for me because eventually I become unhappy and need to move on. So I'm GOING OUT OF MY WAY to make sure that doesn't happen again. Since I've been online dating for the past 2 months or so, I've had 25-30 guys attempt to establish a connection, but only 7 have gotten through because I'm trying to be picky but not SO picky that no one is good enough. But my standards have not been low/lowered. I'm not saying yes to any guy who asks me out.
If you look at all the responses people have had in this thread alone (I'm crazy to think 2 dates is too soon, I must be cheating on a bf, etc.), you'll see why I'm concerned he won't believe me. If strangers on the internet don't believe me (and I have zero reason to lie to strangers online about my situation) what makes me think that the guy who's emotionally invested is going to believe me? I also feel that if I were in his shoes, *I* would find it fishy if one date he wants to kiss and then all of a sudden he doesn't. So, I can appreciate where he might be coming from.
I feel like he and I have rapport. Out of all the guys I've seen online, I like him the most so far. But two dates is not enough to establish the amount of rapport I need to be physical with someone.
I'm super new to online dating (I've only dated people I've known for a while in the past), so I'm really just feeling my way around and learning how this all works as well as learning about myself. If someone had asked me if I felt comfortable kissing someone on a 2nd date, I wouldn't have been able to tell them because I didn't know. Now I know.
That's good your on the same page, it sounds like this is way outside of anything I have ever experienced before so I probably cant be of much help. 25 to 30 suitors and sifted through to 7 of them, I was lucky if I got one or 2 women in a month to respond to me so I cant really relate.
This sounds like one of those life styles of the hot and desirable, different problems than im used too. If he has 7 women lined up as well then he is obviously also hot. Its a whole different world out there for some people. As I said before maybe in another life I would get to experience this.
One thing I have heard through the grape vine is women who are getting 10-15 emails a day have to create tables on big pieces of papers to keep the men separate and weight out the pros and cons, you could probably use an excel spread sheet as well.
I've been out on a date with a gentlemen two times. We have a date lined up for this Wednesday. What I'd like to know is how to SLOW DOWN the physical aspects. I really like the guy, but I feel like I rushed into the physical stuff too soon.
On our last date, he walked me back to my car at the end of the night where we made out. Standing up, outside, hugging and a little tongue action. That was it, no touching naughty places and no petting. But looking back I feel like it was too much too soon (even though it wasn't ALL that much).
How do I tell him and slow things down without him thinking I don't like him. I REALLY like him, I just would like to take things more slowly. I'm afraid if I tell him that, he won't believe me bc we've already kissed.
The night after our date he texted me that our kisses were "magical" and that I was a good kisser and that he enjoyed them. He also said that good kisses lead to good sex and implied that if he and I had sex it would probably be phenomenal. While I agree with all that, I really think I need and WANT to take things more slowly.
How do I tell him without him thinking I don't like him? It just feels tricky because he seems gung ho while I'm having major reservations now.
Tell him what you told us.
If he's a half way decent guy, he'd be ok with it.
See, now this is a very helpful description if you expect us to give you accurate advice. Clearly 1) you are hot 2) you are aware you are hot.
Now lets move on from there. You made out with this guy on the 2nd date. Nobody touched anybody's naughty place. (seriously, did you really say that?) He texted you to say the kisses were magical and the sex would be amazing. He aint waiting for a monogamous relationship. He lied.
He texted that to see if you are thinking boink on the 3rd date, cuz if you are not, he probably doesn't want to waste his time with you. I know a ton of guys who, after buying dinner the 3rd time, want to boink. Yes, boink. The whole enchilada. Boink you. Your sister. Your neighbor. You name it. Men crave variety. He is probably dating 4 women he met online and has asked 3 more out.
I'd get used to it if I were you. And if you cannot handle it? Convent ====> Thatta way.
Ok, here's the ENTIRE story in hopes of providing context.
On our first date, I felt a special connection to him. I really cannot describe it, maybe it was all in my head, who knows.
The day after our first date I hit him up around 11:30pm. I'm a night owl, and I stay up way late at night. Now, after talking to my girlfriends, I now know this is a no-no. If you hit a guy up late at night, he will automatically think you're looking for a booty call and that's what this guy thought. I know he thought that because when I texted him at 11:30, he told me "sex always gets me into trouble. After I have sex with a girl, I usually lose interest in her. I'm trying NOT to have sex with women in hopes of finding love because I really want to find love". And then he refused to give me his address.
Now, I just wanted to go over to hang out and get to know each other a little better (NOT for sex), and I told him that. I also told him that I don't have sex until I'm in a monogamous relationship. So we both are really clear about that.
Now, maybe he thinks I'm lying to save face or maybe he thinks he can persuade me, but he HIMSELF said he was waiting to have sex so, under the assumption that he's telling the truth about that, I'm thinking he's not trying to get me into the sack. When we kissed during our 2nd date, I totally initiated it, that's why I'm thinking it's on me to slow it down.
I agree with the poster who said it was a little weird that he made the comment about good kissing leading to good sex, but he and I both established that we're waiting. So maybe it was a bad attempt at being flirty, maybe it was a test, who knows. But I'm not having sex w him until/unless he and I become monogamous, and if he doesn't believe that NOW, he will soon enough.
And for the record, I always try to split the check. ALWAYS. He has insisted on paying both times. INSISTED. He snatched it up and wouldn't let me see it. I wasn't going to reach across the table and wrestle him for the bill, so I just let him pay it.
You can be direct or indirect. Direct would be either you bring it up (though it sounds like he will and if you want to wait until he does that works too.) Once it is being discussed, just say you don't want to move too fast so just a little kissing (whatever you are ok with, if you don't want to kiss him anymore that is fine too, tell him what your boundaries are.) is fine. Or wait until the end of the date (or whenever he starts getting affectionate with you.) and don't kiss him back or don't hold his hand or what ever it is he is leading with.
Do slow down, either your gut is telling you something about him or you are not ready. I've been there, not ready, some guy talking about kissing me and I got (though I'd kissed him previously) nervous. It's not just guys who can scare easy. Good luck.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
", no thank you pass.
