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I don't know, I can't really describe it. All I know is thought of doing it again makes me uncomfortable, even though I really like the guy.
The last woman who came up with those excuses for something as little as making out turned out being in a relationship. She was looking at me as a potential replacement boyfriend. I only found out she was spoken for while she became careless and removed some of her privacy settings on Facebook. Her relationship status was "in a relationship with _______ _______." I clicked on the man's name. As it turned out, he was serving in Afghanistan at the time. Needless to say, I dropped her like a bad habit.
Perhaps what you're not telling anybody here is you're currently neck deep in a serious relationship and making out with another guy is making you feel guilty.
The last woman who came up with those excuses for something as little as making out turned out being in a relationship. She was looking at me as a potential replacement boyfriend. I only found out she was spoken for while she became careless and removed some of her privacy settings on Facebook. Her relationship status was "in a relationship with _______ _______." I clicked on the man's name. As it turned out, he was serving in Afghanistan at the time. Needless to say, I dropped her like a bad habit.
Perhaps what you're not telling anybody here is you're currently neck deep in a serious relationship and making out with another guy is making you feel guilty.
Nope! I've been single for about three months now. I'm dating guys I meet online through an online dating website, but so is he. And for the record, I've not kissed anyone else since being single!
But this is the EXACT reason as to why I'm nervous about slowing it down. Some posters think I'm crazy and you think I'm secretly in a relationship. Lol so who knows what this guy's going to think when I tell him that.
Nope! I've been single for about three months now. I'm dating guys I meet online through an online dating website, but so is he. And for the record, I've not kissed anyone else since being single!
But this is the EXACT reason as to why I'm nervous about slowing it down. Some posters think I'm crazy and you think I'm secretly in a relationship. Lol so who knows what this guy's going to think when I tell him that.
Well, if he's respectful, he'll respect your wish to tone it down. If he doesn't, forget about him.
If he moves in for a kiss, stop him with a gentle hand on his chest and say, 'I think you are super hawt, but we have been moving a bit faster than I am comfortable with.'
I hope you are just being paranoid. If he gives you any guff at all, you should dump him.
The right man wants to have the kind of sex that happens when you want it as much as he does, and is disgusted by the thought of having sex with you when you don't really want to.
^^^ This, no good man wants to have sex with a woman or kiss her if she is uncomfortable, I could not even imagine it would be very fun having awkward kissing/sex. That being said he may decide to move on himself if you don't come up with a really convincing argument as to why you want to slam the breaks on. That's just a risk you take when you do that.
^^^ This, no good man wants to have sex with a woman or kiss her if she is uncomfortable, I could not even imagine it would be very fun having awkward kissing/sex. That being said he may decide to move on himself if you don't come up with a really convincing argument as to why you want to slam the breaks on. That's just a risk you take when you do that.
I believe what you're saying and want to put it to practical use. Do you have any suggestions of what would sound reasonable if you were in his shoes?
If you feel discomforted, that is a sufficient reason. There doesn't need to be anything more behind it. Rational? Emotional! You don't have to explain how you feel - that's just it, it's how you feel. You're not on-board and that's that. Let him know:
'I need to slow things down. I really like you but all the guys I've known in the past were not strangers I met on the Internet. I had been aware of them for weeks/months and after that kind of contact, I felt comfortable with them, transitioning from a casual, friendly relationship to a more serious, intimate one. As you stated the other day, I do believe if we were to make love (emphasis, as opposed to have sex) it would be great. I am not ready for that any time soon and I think we should slow down all aspects of our relationship, so we can enjoy each others intellect and emotions independently before moving to more physical contact. I will let you know when I am ready and you can certainly ask until you hear the 'go' from me.'
Something straightforward, proscribed, and no-nonsense will allow you your dignity and his respect. If he doesn't get it, he was moving too fast. If he tries to understand, that's starting to look like a winner. We all must endure conflict. A good relationship navigates through the difficulties into a peaceful coexistence through effective communication. If something doesn't feel right, that's enough reason to stop.
I believe what you're saying and want to put it to practical use. Do you have any suggestions of what would sound reasonable if you were in his shoes?
In addition to telling him you are very sexually attracted to him, ask him to give you 2 more dates without any physical contact other than maybe a hug (not a side hug, I had a date do this to me for 3 dates and it didn't end well) and on the 3rd date you promise to talk about having sex.
Or insert how ever many dates you want to wait. As a guy its nice to have a time frame to look forward too so that I don't feel like im being strung along while a woman deals with what ever is going on in her head.
With out setting some kind of reasonable time line he could be thinking the following:
1. is she dating 3 other guys and already having sex/giving head to one of them (a lot of women do this)
2. is she considering cheating on someone else with you but now feels guilty (as another poster stated)
3. is she not fully over an ex and it could be months or years before she sorts out that baggage. No guy wants to be a place holder while she deals with emotional baggage.
4. is she still searching online and trying to keep her options open but wants to keep him in reserve
5. he may think your just trying to spare his feelings and that your really not into him
If you feel discomforted, that is a sufficient reason. There doesn't need to be anything more behind it. Rational? Emotional! You don't have to explain how you feel - that's just it, it's how you feel. You're not on-board and that's that. Let him know:
'I need to slow things down. I really like you but all the guys I've known in the past were not strangers I met on the Internet. I had been aware of them for weeks/months and after that kind of contact, I felt comfortable with them, transitioning from a casual, friendly relationship to a more serious, intimate one. As you stated the other day, I do believe if we were to make love (emphasis, as opposed to have sex) it would be great. I am not ready for that any time soon and I think we should slow down all aspects of our relationship, so we can enjoy each others intellect and emotions independently before moving to more physical contact. I will let you know when I am ready and you can certainly ask until you hear the 'go' from me.'
Something straightforward, proscribed, and no-nonsense will allow you your dignity and his respect. If he doesn't get it, he was moving too fast. If he tries to understand, that's starting to look like a winner. We all must endure conflict. A good relationship navigates through the difficulties into a peaceful coexistence through effective communication. If something doesn't feel right, that's enough reason to stop.
I guarantee he will start looking/dating other women with this sort of response, he may still go out with you as a friend if he has no other prospects that moment but he will be looking. If this were a response I got on a 3rd date where I might be hoping for sex to happen I would start dating other women.
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Not at all. I think I'm maybe a little too shy. But I really can't help it, it's just how I feel!
