Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You seriously need to take a good hard look at what is MORE IMPORTANT to you. A good relationship with a lifelong commitment with the possibility of having no children OR having a child then being stuck with some guy for 18 years that you really don't even like let alone love because he wants to be involved in his child's life.
I'm NOT rushing into anything just to get married. If I had rushed, I could have been married 3 times by now. The reason I'm not married is because I didn't want to marry someone with whom I wasn't in love.
Ideally, I want both the person I love and children. But I'm not going to get married just to have children. If I have to forgo having kids, I will. But I'm not quite at that point yet, so dating multiple people seems like the best solution (for now).
I also think you should be able to eliminate most applicants after the first or second date. Are you just wondering how many semifinalists to keep?
Yes, Nila, I am. I've met several good "candidates", but I'm not quite sure when I need to cut them loose.
And because this has come up at least 5 times in different threads, I'm not stringing anyone along. All the men know where I stand on dating and they are doing the same thing (dating multiple people).
When I was in my mid-30s and dating guys close to 40, they all brought up kids on the first date. Brought up that they wanted them, and right away. Men get that 'biological clock' feeling, too.
I think you should look for a guy like that. One whose main interest in dating is finding a partner to make babies with.
I'm also skeptical of rushing into marriage like that, but that's me.
That is definitely true. As men get older, the risk of birth defects increases. I definitely feel my "clock" ticking at 34.
That is definitely true. As men get older, the risk of birth defects increases. I definitely feel my "clock" ticking at 34.
I hate this feeling. I hate this feeling with every inch of my body. I hate being pushed onto a schedule that I have no control over that has suddenly decided to dominate my life.
I hate this feeling. I hate this feeling with every inch of my body. I hate being pushed onto a schedule that I have no control over that has suddenly decided to dominate my life.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHHOHOHO.
Just because there is a schedule, does not mean your body is putting a force on you and creating that feeling. That's from your own knowledge and fear put into you by society.
...Though I do have to give credit that humans are social creatures and the brain can make you feel unhappy if you are alone.
Just because there is a schedule, does not mean your body is putting a force on you and creating that feeling. That's from your own knowledge and fear put into you by society.
...Though I do have to give credit that humans are social creatures and the brain can make you feel unhappy if you are alone.
It has not been "put into me by society". If I had wanted children because society has told me that's what I'm supposed to do, I could have been married and had them by now. I want children because *I* genuinely want them, not because society tells me to, or to propagate the species or my DNA. I want them for my own selfish reasons lol.
I've waited this long to have children partly because I haven't found the right partner, but also because I feel I haven't been ready to have them, economically, emotionally, etc. I wanted to make sure I was bringing them into a stable situation.
It has not been "put into me by society". If I had wanted children because society has told me that's what I'm supposed to do, I could have been married and had them by now. I want children because *I* genuinely want them, not because society tells me to, or to propagate the species or my DNA. I want them for my own selfish reasons lol.
I've waited this long to have children partly because I haven't found the right partner, but also because I feel I haven't been ready to have them, economically, emotionally, etc. I wanted to make sure I was bringing them into a stable situation.
I see, my apologies, for I am a man, and our fertility technically lasts into the old age (though not without risks)
I see, my apologies, for I am a man, and our fertility technically lasts into the old age (though not without risks)
I'm totally jelly. I wish I had time like you all do! But, you're right about the risk part. I've known men who had children in their upper 40s and late 50s where the children had health complications, but that the men's older children (the children the men had when the men were younger) didn't have any issues whatsoever.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
