Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
OP - Your posts are a bit difficult to respond to.
This is the second time I completely rewrote my post and changed my position with you.
I initially wrote how you are not being that confident guy you mentioned wanting to be, in your other post. How obsessing over someone, isn't moving on, how difficult breakups are and how you're in the post-breakup rut, where you fantasize about "showing them" how great of a catch you actually were - in order to win them back. That that's not moving on, or being confident with yourself, at all.
But then - you're 22 (don't take that negatively).
You're not suppose to be profound and mature at 22. I wasn't. I don't believe the majority of males here were, either (women are a different matter). Giving you our advice isn't going to matter, because logic and reason are not effective against raging hormones/emotions. You simply have to experience it yourself, and maybe in 10 years (or 5 years, since I'm only 5 years older than you (and not an "elder")) - you may be on here as another voice in our choir, when the next 22 year old posts the same thing. THEN you could speak from experience, as almost all of us, currently, are.
My only advice to you, is - always always always wear protection, and wait a few years before kids enter the picture. Work daily on whatever it was that caused you guys to end it, and don't get lazy again.
Sure it's normal to masturbate to thoughts of someone you're attracted to.
As for what she meant, we can't know that. You're right to just let it ride and not prompt her, etc. Here's a fairly common thing in breakups unless they're for a real no-no reason, such as cheating or abuse: the one who did the breaking up does miss, at some point, the fact that the other person loved her. That person will then sort of "feel out" the ex to make sure those feelings are still there.
That doesn't mean the person is coming back, she just wants reassurance of that old feeling of having been cared about.
That fact is not worth investing your emotions in (and getting hurt again), so carry on with your life as you've been doing. Also, start dating again.
She's not a bad person for doing this (seeking reassurance even if she has no intent of getting back together) but human nature dictates that if she is in fact reassured in that way, she will keep on popping back into your life any time she's feeling down and needs a boost, hence swirling up your emotions all over again and getting your hopes up only to have them dashed.
Don't give her that reassurance. You're not together any more and it's not your responsibility to make sure she's happy and secure in that way. If she wants the reassurance of love she has to give love. If she can't do that, then you can't afford, emotionally, to keep being there.
Keep your distance, be polite when/if she calls and carry on with your life.
OP: just curious, if you're still attracted to and still love your ex, why not try to reconcile with her, and get back together?
That's what i'm trying to do but slowly.
We just got on terms of speaking and actually enjoying eachothers company.
I don't want to move to fast.
She already knows i can't be her friend and i still have feeling for her because i told her.
So now it's just a waiting game
That's what i'm trying to do but slowly.
We just got on terms of speaking and actually enjoying eachothers company.
I don't want to move to fast.
She already knows i can't be her friend and i still have feeling for her because i told her.
So now it's just a waiting game
How do you feel about the fact that she is seeing other guys while you wait?
Or are you going to be like that other guy who decided his ex was soiled goods after she slept with someone else while they were broken up...?
How do you feel about the fact that she is seeing other guys while you wait?
Or are you going to be like that other guy who decided his ex was soiled goods after she slept with someone else while they were broken up...?
What are your expectations exactly?
There was actually an incident between us before i went no contact
when we were trying to make things work. But she kept flaking and i kept getting more needy.
She was always questioning my where abouts and who i was sleeping with.
I told her the truth. It was only one girl (My Ex) . She made it seem like she was this angel
and would never get sexual urges yada yada.
Come to find out she did have sex with someone and hid it from me.
Ya i was pissed not because she had sex with someone but because she lied.
She cried about it and said she regretted it so much and wanted to erase it from her memory.
She said they didn't even have full blown sex because she stopped him 2 minutes in.
I also found out she kissed some random guy at a club a few days before i went no contact.
She told me that. I was a little mad but whatever.
If she is seeing others guys right now i wouldnt be really hurt or mad.
Were not together. Although it would hurt, i accept it.
Any relationship she gets in now will most likely be a rebounded one.
She was never the type to date like that anyways.
I was her first real boyfriend and first love.
So i doubt it'll happen i just think shes enjoying keeping to her self at the moment.
But i could be wrong
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
