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Measuring your relationship against someone else's is NOT a good idea. What works for one couple may not work for another. People are different and thus, their relationships will be different.
No one is happy ALL the time. No matter how compatible people are, no matter how much they love and respect each other, they will have disagreements - it's just a part of sharing your life with someone. YOU are really the only one who can decide whether or not the bad outweighs the good in your own relationship.
You can never know for sure. That's why you keep working it at, putting an effort into trying to make the other person happy, meeting their needs, and hopefully they will do likewise.
How much laughter there is an a relationship is a good indicator of relationship health. The more couples laugh together, the more satisfaction. But, people base good relationships on the externals a lot. When that happens, they get a jaded or distorted perception of relationship happiness.
My husband is the funniest man I know! He has kept me laughing for 20 years! Doesn't mean that our marriage hasn't hit rough spots. But we genuinely LIKE hanging out together. It's a friendship as well as a partnership.
Measuring your relationship against someone else's is NOT a good idea. What works for one couple may not work for another. People are different and thus, their relationships will be different.
I believe there is value in observing a marriage that is long and good where the couple resolve conflicts, compromise, make adjustments in their expectations, use communication skills. These kinds of behavior that works can be learned and imitated.
Most of us don't have an opportunity to do this with friends. We may see them quarrel or behave badly, but not the other situations. In other words we don't know what they do to keep the relationship healthy.
You can never know for sure. That's why you keep working it at, putting an effort into trying to make the other person happy, meeting their needs, and hopefully they will do likewise.
I think one can clearly sense a bad marriage. It is harder to know if one's marriage is good enough. And one needs to know that to make the effort in ways that you describe.
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