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If you and your partner are happy and content, and feel loved and respected, it is an easy answer.
But what if you are not all of those all the time? How do you measure if your marriage is good enough? do you have friends who have good marriages that you model after or measure against? Parents? Siblings? what is a good enough relationship that is worth preserving when the alternative, divorce, seems painful all around - to you, your partner, your kids? and i don't include affairs as an antidote.
I have one sibling who is divorced and happy, although her kids had a rough time. My other sibling I believe has a great marriage - they had some very rough patches but they have somehow worked it out and are now retired and look content.
You just know I guess. Marriage isn`t going to be "happy fun time" all the time. I mean, there is responsibility and bills that come with the package deal, but you work together, and everyone is happy!!
I like your question. How I know I have a good marriage is that I compare it to my parents' and my grandparents' marriages. Yep, I know I got a good one! Divorces are extremely rare in my family (thank God!) so I have seen marriages last and last. Seeing those marriages in my family teaches me that not everything is rosy but true love is stronger than all the petty issues that come up in relationships. Both sets of grandparents seem to be made for each other. Awww... One side was together 50 years and the other 64 years. My parents have been together for as long as I've been alive and they will very likely follow in their parents' footsteps. With my parents though...well, let's just say I don't look to them as the perfect marriage, but they do teach me by the way they live.
The way I've come to understand that my husband is a great partner in marriage is that by now (after five years married) he feels like my true family, like I've known him all my life, as if he could have been a brother! OK that might sound disgusting but really sometimes I have memories from years ago, and I get mixed up remembering if I did them with my sister or with my husband. To me that is a sign that we love each other in the various ways that it takes to make a marriage last.
We are happy most of the time and want to make life easier for our mate. We agree on most things, but when we don't there is no big argument, we simply agree to disagree and let it go at that. We laugh a lot, sometimes at each other, sometimes at ourselves, sometimes at someone else. I respect her honestly, and she respects mine. We agreed early in our relationship there would be no secrets between us, and nothing but truthfulness. She is my very best friend.
Yes happiness and love make a marriage enjoyable. You need to have respect for one another and you need to be friends. When you don't have those two things it's not good.
I like your question. How I know I have a good marriage is that I compare it to my parents' and my grandparents' marriages. Yep, I know I got a good one! Divorces are extremely rare in my family (thank God!) so I have seen marriages last and last. Seeing those marriages in my family teaches me that not everything is rosy but true love is stronger than all the petty issues that come up in relationships. Both sets of grandparents seem to be made for each other. Awww... One side was together 50 years and the other 64 years. My parents have been together for as long as I've been alive and they will very likely follow in their parents' footsteps. With my parents though...well, let's just say I don't look to them as the perfect marriage, but they do teach me by the way they live.
The way I've come to understand that my husband is a great partner in marriage is that by now (after five years married) he feels like my true family, like I've known him all my life, as if he could have been a brother! OK that might sound disgusting but really sometimes I have memories from years ago, and I get mixed up remembering if I did them with my sister or with my husband. To me that is a sign that we love each other in the various ways that it takes to make a marriage last.
How much laughter there is an a relationship is a good indicator of relationship health. The more couples laugh together, the more satisfaction. But, people base good relationships on the externals a lot. When that happens, they get a jaded or distorted perception of relationship happiness.
Her: "We have such a good marriage."
Me: "Yes, dear."
That's how I know - she told me.
(J/k, by the way. I can tell that it is without being told.)
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